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I found out why my son isn't being invited to any birthday parties this winter

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My son is in third grade. He's nine.

In the last month there have been three kids from his very small school, all friends of his not only from school but his soccer team, who have had Xbox slumber parties for their birthdays to which he has not been invited.  I was confused and a little hurt for him. Until today when I found out why.

Apparently all the other kids play Xbox online together every evening.  Their favorite games are Black Ops and Call of Duty. My son has an Xbox but doesn't play online and is only allowed rated E games.  Therefore he's not invited to the parties.

I'm stunned. I guess I'm glad he wasn't invited because if I knew he wouldn't be allowed to go and if I didn't know I would be upset if I found out he had played those games.  But mostly I'm shocked that so many 9 year olds are playing those games online.  There are 19 boys in the third grade at his school and 14 of them are at the party happening tonight.  So my son is one of only five boys in the third grade not allowed to do this? It never occurred to me those games were the norm for third graders.

Wow. Am I that far behind the times?

 

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Replies (91-100):
lruesch
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:41 AM
I have a 13 yr old boy and he has been playing those games since probably 5 th grade but I have rules set for him: he cannot play during the school week and he is not allowed to talk about Xbox games. At school and if I find out thru a teacher or someone else that he was talking about x box games then the x box is in the trash!!!!
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cjsbmom
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this

 It always shocks me the games kids that age are allowed to play. We have a neighbor who has been playing Call of Duty since he was 4. 4! And not the watered down version, either, but the full-blown, rated M for mature version. And then we wonder what is wrong with our young kids today. This is part of the problem.

 

vermontmoms
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:38 AM
My boys are in 3rd and they don't play online games with friends on their xbox nor do they play the games you mentioned. Sounds like you need to find a church or some other kids for your son that align with your parenting choices. My boys are the ones having boys over usually so they aren't left out.
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Bwebb
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:00 AM

Nine year olds should NOT be playing call of duty!! I don't care what anyone says! That games is way to realistic and violent!! I know violent video games don't cause violent behaviors, but I do believe they cange the way kids think and how thier brains develop.  There's research on this if you sepnd some time lookin git up.  Parents are nuts for letting their kids do things intended for much older kids! 

Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I don't allow my son (who's 6) to play any games past e10... and the e10 games he has are like phineas and ferb, and the ben 10 game. I'm with you OP, I don't want my son playing crazy violent games. He has play COD for like 5 minutes one time on training mode or something, my nephew's scumbag father let him play while I wasn't in the room.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:11 AM

At his own birthday party, my soon to be 6 year old isn't going to have cake because one of his friends can't eat gluten, sugar, food dyes, preservatives & other things due to her migraines.  I could do gluten free no problem, but there is no cake without sugar.  My son wants his friend to be able to eat (do) everything at his birthday party so he is choosing to have a cake made entirely of fruit.

Each parent & child's choice, but I love that my son is making a choice that includes his friend.

Quoting mjande4:

Here's the thing though, IF that's the theme of the party then it's natural that he wouldn't be invited.  The x-box games are a social avenue for kids, and although I understand and respect parents who don't want their kids playing, why on Earth would you think that a kid should not play at his or her own birthday party!?


Quoting bookdragon:

 My sons don't get to play those games either, they're 11 & almost 14. If you don't want him to play those games then he shouldn't. It's unfortunate that his friends don't want him at the parties, they should find a game he can play or skip the XBox for one night.




agrisham13mom
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I guess I am in the out on this... My DS is 7 and we allow him to play those games with our supervision of course. I don't see it any different than them playing army or cops and robbers IRL other than now it's on a tv screen. My DS knows the difference between make believe and real life and he understands the importance of safety and values people! IMHO I don't see it as a big deal as long as there is good solid upbringing and open discussion with your kids...
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Babujai
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:12 AM

You're not behind the times.  I just started letting my 11 years play some T games because he was burning through the E games too quickly, but I still check them for extreme violence and any sexiness.  On the other hand, my SIL's son has always been able to play whatever games he wants and goes online and all that stuff.  I've had to limit how much time my kids spend with their cousin at his house because I don't want them playing those games.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:13 AM

I'm appalled at how many people think its ok for elementary age kids to play rated M video games - against the computer or online.  We don't have any video games at all yet, and we'll keep it that way for as long as we can.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:16 AM

My boys play cops & robbers, army etc, too.  To me, the difference is that you see the violence on the screen while when you're playing, you don't actually see violence.  Any violence is in your imagination & if you don't know what it looks like, it can't be there.

Quoting agrisham13mom:

I guess I am in the out on this... My DS is 7 and we allow him to play those games with our supervision of course. I don't see it any different than them playing army or cops and robbers IRL other than now it's on a tv screen. My DS knows the difference between make believe and real life and he understands the importance of safety and values people! IMHO I don't see it as a big deal as long as there is good solid upbringing and open discussion with your kids...


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