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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Fitting IN

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:37 AM
  • 17 Replies
Anyone know any books on helping your child fit in?
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:37 AM
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Books or tips? Truthfully your child needs to find activities/interests that they enjoy and then kids with the same passions will find him.
MommaTasha1003
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Well why are they not fitting in?.. If its over proper "friend" manners, thats fixable with guidance..If its because they are just difference/eccentric and like different styles, well, i wouldnt try forcing my kid to change who they are.

In our library there is a whole section about manners, being a good friend, playing nice..

Role playing is great, model good.bad behiors in a friend.

mommek8e
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:09 PM
She is is 7 and beautifully biracial and super smart. A couple of little boys are telling her that no one in the whole likes her because she is annoying. They have told her that she thinks she is special and that she's not. They have also told her she ruins everything. I have addressed this with the teacher. I am not socially brilliant and I don't have a lot of friends for her to have a good role model. She doesn't have a father figure and loves to be the center if attention. She can be loud sometimes, which I try to work on. She can get excited easily. She doesn't have any friends and we don't go on play dates. When she is with cousins, she does beautifully, but she only sees them on holidays. I have depression and anxiety and narcolepsy. These limit me in many ways. She hasn't made any friends in dance. She is not interested in anything else right now. She is the kind of person that if she doesn't want to do something she doesn't do it. I just want to help her succeed socially and I may just be worrying for nothing. I know kids can be cruel. And I should have prepared her for this. I read like crazy, so this would probably be the best learning tool. Any advice you can give I will take.
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steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:10 PM
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It really does depend on what actual problem is.  Like the other ladies have said, there is a wide range of books and advice that can be offered depending on the actual problem.  Role playing is a very good way to help your child.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:16 PM
I like the idea of role playing. I think it's important that you teach your daughter to "listen" to what the boys are trying to tell her. If boys are saying this, then the girls are too. You might want to consider Girl Scouts or a similar program. It sounds like she could benefit from some social interactions/norms.
mommek8e
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM
So what do you mean role playing? I am not sure how to go about this.
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queen_k0302
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:20 PM
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I think it's called "i like me".

Your local librarian can be a big help.

ds struggles with fitting in also. He has a mentor who is so much like him. The mentor was the best thing I have done.



Have you thought about doing a volunteer class on everyone being different and it being ok? Another parent did it in his 3rd grade class. The rest of that year went by so much easier. I have also delt with bullying. You can message me any time. I hope it gets better.
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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Give your daughter different scenarios and tell her how she should respond.
MsLogansMommy
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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I role play with my daughter I will be the "mean girl" and mean stuff like "go away I don't want to play with you" and then have her respond then we will switch and she will be mean girl and I will show her an appropriate response. I also tell her that not every reaction directed at her is about her like maybe they are just having a bad day and taking it out on her type stuff this happens to all of us young and old where someone may be upset about something that has nothing to do with you and you smile and say, "hi" and they dont respond we tend to take it personal and then start wondering what we did wrong etc well I let he know that this happens and not to take everything so personal.

It is very important now at this age to instill in your child to not base her value on what other people think of her it is important to follow social norms and get along but her self esteem shouldnt go hand in hand with what her peers are saying she needs to learn to look inside for validation.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:45 PM

 Bump

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