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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My son is in 3rd grade. At that age, I remember having a best friend and going over to other kids' houses. He doesn't get invited anywhere. 

He also doesn't feel lonely. He thinks he has a lot of friends. The kids don't ignore him at recess. In the summer, he plays with some of the neighborhood boys.

Am I worried over nothing?  

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 7:40 AM
Replies (21-30):
aeneva
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:27 AM

My 2nd grader is the same way and I had a long talk with his teacher (who has 3 kids of her own the youngest two boys) about my concerns at the end of last year.  She told me as long as he is not being socially shunned and does not feel lonely or say noone likes him then leave it alone.  She says boys tend to not be as close as girls do.  From what you said I think your boy is fine.  PM me if you want to discuss more.

bleumonster
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:46 AM
As long as he is fine with it, you shouldn't worry about it. It was the same here.
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jessi2girls
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:07 AM

yes, you are worrying over nothing.. most kids don't visit each other's houses anymore, they hang out more in social places.. a local park for example.. bday parties.. sports..

if you are concerned, try getting him involved in a local sport or other activity  for kids his age.

Jadegirl1819
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:08 AM

My kids rarely have friends over.  Well, my daughter is 10 and now she is going over to friends houses more and they are comming over here more.  I've just gotten to know the parents more and feel more comfortable with it.  My kids also play on the playground with some of their friends after school when the weather is decent.  So many of their parents work that it's hard to have playdates during the week and the weekends are filled with sports/bday parties/ or family time. 

Neuro
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:15 AM

I think you're worried over nothing. I remember going for a few years without having a BFF. It wasn't until middle school that I met that "one close friend" and she and I have been like sisters ever since (it's been around 10 years now).

Sometimes it takes a while to find someone you can just... click with. Sometimes it takes a while to find people that you can click with period. If you're worried, you can talk to the school and see if he is being bullied or having trouble socializing but if not then there is no reason to worry unless he is showing signs of mental illness or developmental delay.

mysweet1s
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:16 AM

I think its okay if he's happy.  I was worried about the same thing with my 3rd grade daughter for the same reasons.  But, we recently had parent-teacher conferences and her teacher said that she is doing well socially, that everyone loves her and she is always surrounded by friends at recess.  I agree with some of the others, times have just changed.  I have been making an effort to have more kids over though.   

nurbabe82
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:33 AM

 

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I don't think kids these days play at each other's houses the way we did. It seems like parents are as willing to let kids do it. 

Why not have him invite someone over?

 

LowryCuisine
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:40 AM

My kids are the same way. It's weird to me, I always feel like they are missing out on having friends. The part I hate is my middle child says that he has tons of friends at school, but yet these "friends" make fun of him if he wears his older brother's clothes or has his hair a certain length.

Bwebb
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:53 AM

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that i actually think this is a huge problem.  My son is in kindergarten and he goes to his friends' or they come to our house all the time.  Especially on the weekends.  They play legos and run around in the yard and use their imaginations.  I would hate it if this weren't a normal part of his chilhood.  Mostly it's the adults that set up the playdates because we all think it's important for our kids to play this way.  I asked the teacher to put my phone number in the backpacks of the kids in his class with a note to the parents about getting our kids together. It worked out great, and my son regularly plays with 3 of the kids in his class.  If your son is happy that's great, but having friends over is a part of learning to socialize. Kids take pride in showing off their toys and rooms.  I think you should contact some of the parents and start some play dates!

HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:59 AM

my dd is the same way, i wouldn't be worried, parents are paranoid now days which prevents playdates and time at other peoples houses.  i know my dd has 2 best friends (they are twins) her girls come here in the morning and their mom picks her up after school,  she is the only person i have been willing to trust with my kid besides family.

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