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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

explaining to a child about racism

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:32 PM
  • 17 Replies

My daughter came home from school crying and very upset. She said one of her friends told her she couldn't play with her anymore because my daughter is white. This little girl told her that her mom said she could only play with kids who were spanish. My kids have been taught that it doesn't matter what color people are they are still people and should be treated the same way. My daughter is crushed. I don't even know how to begin explaining racism to a 7 year old.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wakymom
by Ruby Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 The simplest explanation would be to tell her that some people feel that people should only be friends w/ people the same color/ancestry that they are. Then explain how you feel differently. The library should have some books that can help you explain it and her understand it.

 

 

 

 

 

kjbugsmom1517
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Oh man. Its sad that no matter what we teach our children someone will ruin it by teaching there child the wrong side of it. My girls would be crushed too.
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M4LG5
by Gold Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM

Well....that's not cool of the other mom at all.  My girls attend a school that is part of a district that is considered of the most diverse schools.  So, they see a lot of different ethnicities, races, cultures, religions, etc.  It's AWESOME!!!! 


Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:51 PM

The teacher can't make them play together.  This is a parenting issue.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.



jeng1980
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:55 PM

I like this idea.  Even though I agree that the teacher can't make them play together it would be good for her to address it and maybe the girl would understand that what her mother taught her may not be right and that it hurts people's feelings.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.



mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:58 PM

That's a really slippery slope.  As a teacher, you encourage kids to accept differences, but you do NOT want to interfere with parental friend choices.  Race is just one component.  Where I live there is a religion that encourages their kids not to play with others.  You just accept it and move on.


Quoting jeng1980:

I like this idea.  Even though I agree that the teacher can't make them play together it would be good for her to address it and maybe the girl would understand that what her mother taught her may not be right and that it hurts people's feelings.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.




Precious333
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:01 PM
That is soooo sad :)

Maybe you can add in there that some people had very difficult pasts and ate afriad to allow friendships, but its still wrong. So sorry that happened. My dh was exposed to stuff loke that very early on. He has mixed, white and hispanic. There was a lot of judgemen and fea even amongst the family.
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jeng1980
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:02 PM

That's very true.  I homeschool so I'm not very seasoned in this area but we do face situations where kids are just plain out mean and I don't mind telling my kids that they may not have been taught right or that they are just being disobedient to their parents.  It's really hard when my kids have been mistreated at church because I want to yell at the parents but I know that mine mistreat others too.  We have park days, field trips, and our meetings for clubs and such and at least one of my kids comes home feeling mistreated.

To the original poster I am so sorry your daughter came home upset.  I also agree with another reply where someone said she experienced it first hand.  Just tell her to be better than that and to treat all people equally.  Maybe get some books about Martin Luther King Jr.

Quoting mjande4:

That's a really slippery slope.  As a teacher, you encourage kids to accept differences, but you do NOT want to interfere with parental friend choices.  Race is just one component.  Where I live there is a religion that encourages their kids not to play with others.  You just accept it and move on.


Quoting jeng1980:

I like this idea.  Even though I agree that the teacher can't make them play together it would be good for her to address it and maybe the girl would understand that what her mother taught her may not be right and that it hurts people's feelings.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.






mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:05 PM

Although I agree it's not right, a better solution is to teach your child how to handle something like this when it does happen.  It won't be the last time and it won't only be over ethnicity.  Expecting the teacher or another adult to intervene and "solve" the problem just exasberates the situation.  It's rude.  It's obnoxious.  It's not morally ok, but in the long run it's their choice to base their friends off of things they choose.


Quoting jeng1980:

That's very true.  I homeschool so I'm not very seasoned in this area but we do face situations where kids are just plain out mean and I don't mind telling my kids that they may not have been taught right or that they are just being disobedient to their parents.  It's really hard when my kids have been mistreated at church because I want to yell at the parents but I know that mine mistreat others too.  We have park days, field trips, and our meetings for clubs and such and at least one of my kids comes home feeling mistreated.

To the original poster I am so sorry your daughter came home upset.  I also agree with another reply where someone said she experienced it first hand.  Just tell her to be better than that and to treat all people equally.  Maybe get some books about Martin Luther King Jr.

Quoting mjande4:

That's a really slippery slope.  As a teacher, you encourage kids to accept differences, but you do NOT want to interfere with parental friend choices.  Race is just one component.  Where I live there is a religion that encourages their kids not to play with others.  You just accept it and move on.


Quoting jeng1980:

I like this idea.  Even though I agree that the teacher can't make them play together it would be good for her to address it and maybe the girl would understand that what her mother taught her may not be right and that it hurts people's feelings.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I don't know that there is anything to explain...sheexperienced it first hand.

I would let the teacher know and have her address the class.







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