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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

A little help needed, sex and kids when is it too much?

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:29 AM
  • 13 Replies

Hi Guys, 

I'm new here and here I am introducing myself with a heavy subject! gahhhh! But, I figure this is probably the best place to ask.. it might be long winded, bare with me.

My friend son had sex-ed in school, he was about 9. He came home and told his younger brothers and sisters AND my son (I never LET him play there and the ONE time I did.!!!) In graphic detail also told them about anal sex. I discovered this when my then FOUR year old drew a picture and told us all about it. I was mortified that he was told this way and shortly after he started masturbating.. All in all we handled it well, and my son is very balanced about it and is now 9 himself.

Fast forward - They moved and so I didn't see much of them. But I invited them all over for a halloween party (last year) Both the parents and the kids in that house had told me about this kids masturbating a lot, and they have a full house so they were part teasing but also part, you can't keep doing this! -- I'm just watching and observing I too don't have the answers and its... well.. you know...

BUT--- while he was here I noticed a pair of knickers on the floor, I thought they were mine dropped from the washing so I scooped them up and put them in my pocket. It was only after the kids left that I realized they were not mine.. the were adult size and very likely belong to his mum

Alarm bells go off when I realized. I'm thinking future pervert, future rapist. His brothers have told me he talks about sex with animals and what would it be like.. his parents KNOW that part.. they don't know about hte underwear though

If I tell them, the dad is very strict, shouts, scare me even. I feel their punishment or reaction will certainly be over the top.. but then again, in this situation, what counts as over the top.. I just know if I tell them they will flip! If I don't tell them.. I mean HOW VITAL is this information.. is it fairly normal for young boys with a high sex drive to do this.. is it harmless, or is it typical behavior of someone who goes on to become a preditor?

Please do not critisize me for I've never been a parent before, I'm learning on the job JUST like everyone else. By all means vent your opinion but please don't get personal or nasty about I know its a "oh my god" subject. I need help, not critizism. 

THanks!

Mel

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:41 AM

First, NO sex ed program in elementary school is going to cover ANY of the topics that you just described.  That boy learned this from someone or somewhere else.  Clearly, there is not enough supervision.  I do not think this is normal at this age regardless of what you have been told.  I would start with a counselor and get to the bottom of what is REALLY going on.

oddworld
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:33 AM



Quoting mjande4:

That boy learned this from someone or somewhere else.  Clearly, there is not enough supervision.  I do not think this is normal at this age regardless of what you have been told.  I would start with a counselor and get to the bottom of what is REALLY going on.

Yeah I realize the anal was not from school! He's not my child hun its not that straight forward. They know he's over-sexual for his age.. what I'm concerned with is do I tell them about the underwear or not? Its only going to cause rage and upset. What I need to gage is how important how vital that information is.. if its not a great sign of anything dangerous to come then I'd rather not say, because he's parents clearly aren't handling this in the best way (whatever that may be)


HyperMom38
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this

First and foremost, do not let your children have contact with the boy ever again.  Obviously something is going on in that family- a son who is over-sexualized for his age, a father with a temper/rage issue and a mother who can't keep her panties on....  I'd probably have a frank talk with the mom about the issues you spoke of here, but don't be surprised if nothing changes.  You really can't call CPS because all you have are suspicions at this point.  Your best course of action is to steer clear of the whole family IMO.

Jadegirl1819
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:12 AM

 


Quoting oddworld:

 

 

Quoting mjande4:

That boy learned this from someone or somewhere else.  Clearly, there is not enough supervision.  I do not think this is normal at this age regardless of what you have been told.  I would start with a counselor and get to the bottom of what is REALLY going on.

Yeah I realize the anal was not from school! He's not my child hun its not that straight forward. They know he's over-sexual for his age.. what I'm concerned with is do I tell them about the underwear or not? Its only going to cause rage and upset. What I need to gage is how important how vital that information is.. if its not a great sign of anything dangerous to come then I'd rather not say, because he's parents clearly aren't handling this in the best way (whatever that may be)

 

They just go over puberty at 9,  not sex of any kind.  He didn't learn that from school.  My first thought is he might be being sexually abused. 

 

oddworld
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:12 AM

100% not the case I know for sure. There's 9 kids in total, none of them have social problems there's only this one boy who is different. They all share rooms it wouldn't be possible to abuse just ONE child in this house without some sign from the others that something very wrong is going on. There's never a moment in there house where there isn't people around, you just couldn't pull it off in this house.

I understand this is naturally what people would think NOW. Reading this back to myself. But I can't stress enough that is so not the case. Also the dad this is his second family, he has grown up well adjusted daughters and a son.

oddworld
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:16 AM

It's not a case that the mom can't keep her panties on. She has 9 kids in total.. there house is perminantly like a chinese laundry! There's piles of clothes downstairs, upstair, the washing is never off. Its very easy for him to pick a pair of her draws up..

My main concern here is do I tell her that her son's doing  this, on top of everything else.. or not. Is this a sign of a future pervert or not. That's all I need to know. 

Its just such a shame  the world we live in today that the first thing anyone thinks of is sexual abuse. Is it so hard to believe that a child could be over interested in sex because he hangs around with older kids.. I mean.. I wish I never asked this her now its just gone down the wrong road entirely.. sob.

Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I wonder how they got into such detail to even be talking about anal sex at that age. If he is that obsessed with sex, then I think they should be looking at giving him a safe place to talk about it. His younger siblings shouldn't be exposed to that. I'm not saying he needs a therapist for a sex obsession, but he can probably benefit from one to talk to, just to figure out a good way to safely deal with whatever he's thinking about. Talking to his siblings about anal and beastiality is not normal.

Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:18 AM

where there's a will, there's a way. That's like saying a guy couldn't have an affair at work because there's a lot of coworkers....

Quoting oddworld:

100% not the case I know for sure. There's 9 kids in total, none of them have social problems there's only this one boy who is different. They all share rooms it wouldn't be possible to abuse just ONE child in this house without some sign from the others that something very wrong is going on. There's never a moment in there house where there isn't people around, you just couldn't pull it off in this house.

I understand this is naturally what people would think NOW. Reading this back to myself. But I can't stress enough that is so not the case. Also the dad this is his second family, he has grown up well adjusted daughters and a son.


Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:19 AM

I can't say this with 100% accuracy, but I'm guessing a fair amount of panty thieves work their way up once stealing panties alone isn't enough....

Quoting oddworld:

It's not a case that the mom can't keep her panties on. She has 9 kids in total.. there house is perminantly like a chinese laundry! There's piles of clothes downstairs, upstair, the washing is never off. Its very easy for him to pick a pair of her draws up..

My main concern here is do I tell her that her son's doing  this, on top of everything else.. or not. Is this a sign of a future pervert or not. That's all I need to know. 

Its just such a shame  the world we live in today that the first thing anyone thinks of is sexual abuse. Is it so hard to believe that a child could be over interested in sex because he hangs around with older kids.. I mean.. I wish I never asked this her now its just gone down the wrong road entirely.. sob.


oddworld
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Well, yes and no. I started masturbating at six I was too scared to pee at night so I would hold it and tense my thighs until the feeling went. I accidently discovered oragasming.. I didn't even know what sex was. So.. in fairness yes the body goes through puberty later.. but you are more than capable of feeling pleasure before that.

Anyway again all I realy want to know is do I tell them he's doing more things that may need attentiion is this a future pervert? How significant is this.. could it be normal?

I guess I need really to ask guys themselves rather than parents becasue as parents we are so automatically protective that maybe we just don't see it all. We see the worst weather its there or not

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