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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Favoritisim

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:25 PM
  • 29 Replies

How do you deal with favoritism in the class room? My sons (age 7) teacher favors one student over others. Normal things like that dont bother me, but my son gets in trouble because of that student. He gets blamed for his actions. That student also gets special privileges like using her person ipad and when DS or other students ask for a turn she tells them no. DS questioned it and said that it wasnt fair and was told "it my ipad and Ill do what ever I want with it" How is this woman a teacher? She acts like a child herself. My son has gotten recess taken away for  not sitting right on the reading carpet. For her forgeting he asked to go potty. She has also refused to let him go. Those are just a few examples. I have tried to communicate with her but she always has a reason to punish him and gives me vague reasons like "he was being wild" when no other teacher or teachers aid sees this behavior? She's very snotty towards me in general. How do I deal with this?

I want to add he has legitly been in trouble, and the principle handles when kids are actually bad (very small school btw) and he has told me DS isn't a bad kid and the few time he was in trouble that favored student was at the root of it. But he did do something wrong and had to have a consequence. I guess what I'm trying to say is if he is doing something wrong I have no problem with him getting punished but it just seems like he gets punished for more things that he doesn't do or are silly things then the bad student in class gets special things? what is that? I have also talked to other parents and they said their kids say the same things about that student. So its not just my son.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:40 PM
1 mom liked this

next year your son will get a new teacher and he will have a clean slate.

Sarlinda
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:53 PM

 Even though he goes to a small school can you switch him to a different class room? Go in a talk to the principal to see if it's possible and let them know you feel like he's being treated unfairly. Good luck. :)

LilyFlair
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:58 PM

I can't put him in the other class (theres only two classes per grade) because the student that was beating him up last year was put in that class. Im so frustrated with this, for him. I could care less about what special things he gets but the fact that its not fair. I either have my son be the scape goat for this kids bad behaviors and him get treated unfairly, of put him in the class with his bully.

Emeraldmama7
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Well, it depends on how passionate you are about this and how far you are willing to go.  If you are bold and want to go drastic you can request him be moved to a new classroom.  I have 5 kids in elementary school and I'll tell ya that teachers don't usually talk about petty things (like not sitting on the carpet or normal misbehavior) with future teachers.  If he isn't getting in trouble with the principal then it's not being documented and won't hurt him in the future.  I know this from experience and my mom also works in the school system (diff district though).  So if you did nothing and just told your son to be on his best behavior but take her punishments with a grain of salt- it could save you time and energy.  Again, it's how passionate you feel about this and how much this really effects your son and his performance in school.

My son had a slight problem in the beginning of this year with one boy in particular.  Now, I know my son is very sweet but he is also very outgoing.  Apparently a little boy in his class didn't like it and took it as my son being loud or mean to him.  The teacher didn't favor either boy (as far as I know) and she's had two of my older girls with no problems at all.  So, I told my son #1-stay away from this boy.  #2- if he does something to you, don't react yourself.  Tell on him first.  Because if he calls you a name and then you call him one back, if he tells on YOU, YOU get in trouble!!  Don't give him that satisfaction.  My son didn't get in trouble once during the second quarter because he stayed away from this boy.  =)

Now, if your son is being picked on by the teacher for little things that you feel are just her way of picking on him then I would bring that to the principal.   There will be a meeting and you have to stand your ground if you feel this is wrong and she is taking things too far.  You never know, you might be the 5th parent to complain and now FINALLY something will be done about. 

I understand some teachers don't realize what they are doing, but my own mother has told me that she sees teachers in her school just like the lady you speak of.  They do it because they get away with it.  She has NO idea why they'd choose to work with children when they seem to be one themselves or just plain despise children!  My mom is one of the people who will stand behind the parents if they have legitimate reasons to complain of a teacher.  She's dealing with one right now!  My mom has to be the voice of these kids though because she works with very low functioning autistic children and she has taken it upon herself to be the advocate of them!

LilyFlair
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Emeraldmama7:

Well, it depends on how passionate you are about this and how far you are willing to go.  If you are bold and want to go drastic you can request him be moved to a new classroom.  I have 5 kids in elementary school and I'll tell ya that teachers don't usually talk about petty things (like not sitting on the carpet or normal misbehavior) with future teachers.  If he isn't getting in trouble with the principal then it's not being documented and won't hurt him in the future.  I know this from experience and my mom also works in the school system (diff district though).  So if you did nothing and just told your son to be on his best behavior but take her punishments with a grain of salt- it could save you time and energy.  Again, it's how passionate you feel about this and how much this really effects your son and his performance in school.

My son had a slight problem in the beginning of this year with one boy in particular.  Now, I know my son is very sweet but he is also very outgoing.  Apparently a little boy in his class didn't like it and took it as my son being loud or mean to him.  The teacher didn't favor either boy (as far as I know) and she's had two of my older girls with no problems at all.  So, I told my son #1-stay away from this boy.  #2- if he does something to you, don't react yourself.  Tell on him first.  Because if he calls you a name and then you call him one back, if he tells on YOU, YOU get in trouble!!  Don't give him that satisfaction.  My son didn't get in trouble once during the second quarter because he stayed away from this boy.  =)

Now, if your son is being picked on by the teacher for little things that you feel are just her way of picking on him then I would bring that to the principal.   There will be a meeting and you have to stand your ground if you feel this is wrong and she is taking things too far.  You never know, you might be the 5th parent to complain and now FINALLY something will be done about. 

I understand some teachers don't realize what they are doing, but my own mother has told me that she sees teachers in her school just like the lady you speak of.  They do it because they get away with it.  She has NO idea why they'd choose to work with children when they seem to be one themselves or just plain despise children!  My mom is one of the people who will stand behind the parents if they have legitimate reasons to complain of a teacher.  She's dealing with one right now!  My mom has to be the voice of these kids though because she works with very low functioning autistic children and she has taken it upon herself to be the advocate of them!

good for her! Im glad there is someone on their side. I think I will be emailing chip (the principle) about this. He has always had DS's best interest at heart. 

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:21 PM

You are more than half way through the year already.  Just suck it up for the the rest and he will get a new teacher next year.

LilyFlair
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:30 PM


Quoting fullxbusymom:

You are more than half way through the year already.  Just suck it up for the the rest and he will get a new teacher next year.

so I should just let my child be the scape goat for the favorite child of the class's bad behavior for the rest of the year? what does that teach my son. And would you do the same if it were your child? That is the worst advice!

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:39 PM

Make sure that your son knows if he sees bad choices the other child is making not to follow or go along with that child and to let a staff member know about said behaviors.   Our school works on each student being a leader not a sheep who follows others.  

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes I would.  You aren't going to like every single teacher and honestly they aren't going to do anything about it because she likes one child more than another.  Your son isn't getting bullied or picked on just treated differently and you don't like it.  I get it, I do.   However, switching him when there is only a few months left is going to be hard they don't learn at the same pace he may be behind not understand the schedule of anythere classroom.  It will honestly do more harm than good this far in.

I have 4 kids by the way and 2 are already in high school.

Quoting LilyFlair:


Quoting fullxbusymom:

You are more than half way through the year already.  Just suck it up for the the rest and he will get a new teacher next year.

so I should just let my child be the scape goat for the favorite child of the class's bad behavior for the rest of the year? what does that teach my son. And would you do the same if it were your child? That is the worst advice!


LilyFlair
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:43 PM


Quoting frndlyfn:

Make sure that your son knows if he sees bad choices the other child is making not to follow or go along with that child and to let a staff member know about said behaviors.   Our school works on each student being a leader not a sheep who follows others.  

the principle and I have been working on that. But now it seems he gets blamed for just being near the child. Gram(name I picked) did it but because DS is near he was doing it. Its rediculous! 

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