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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

7 year old with ADHD struggling at school...

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:57 AM
  • 35 Replies

Hi Ladies!

  I'm new to this group, my name is Jessica.  My husband and I have two children, Kaden is 7, Keyahna is 3. 

Kaden has always been an energetic lil man, it's progressively getting worse.  He has always struggled with reading but an ace when it comes to math. We had a conference with his teacher today, who basically said he is too hyper, has a hard time focusing on anything that requires him to focus.  Over the years we have tried numerous suggestions to keep him off meds,  as DH and I would rather find a more natural way to get his behaviour under control.  We noticed sugar effects him in a huge way, he gets hyper, than very defiant, than very emotional, like clockwork 20-30 minutes after he has sugar.  Even some fruits effect him!  We have done our best to avoid meds, I'm afraid they will change him and he wont be my goofy little man anymore. 

After this last meeting, I'm really considering trying it... He feels like a bad kid because he seems to always be in trouble, he says he's stupid (which breaks my heart) He is behind his peers big time in reading, his math scores are dropping because of this.  I'm just frustrated.  He is a good kid,  he has a big heart, he loves to help me clean up, he watches tv often but no video games other than his leap pad explorer 2, which we got to help with reading as it's more interesting to him than most books. But nothing is helping and the teachers act like we're bad parents, and seem to be pushing for us to put him on meds... DH is pissing me off, he says Kaden could control it if he wanted and is against meds, I don't agree.  I am worried about the struggles our son may face if we don't find a way to help him..... idk....  I'm really upset about all of this, and my husband and I usually agree on things  when it comes to the children but not this time.

I just want what's best for our son, I know he's smart, I know he doesn't mean to act this way.  I just don't know what to do.... sorry this got so long, I'm just concerned... 

Please share your experiences with your children with ADHD, with or without meds.

or just your opinion on this...

Thank You for your time.

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
QueenCreole313
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:17 AM
I've chosen note to medicate. We decided to homeschool. It's been great.
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Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:34 AM
Have you eliminated artificial dyes and things like that from his diet? If you haven't researched recommended other things to eliminate from his diet and try that for a while first, that's where I would start.

You may want to research the idea of coffee first thing in the morning too. It may sound counterproductive but for some kids, it works well. Our speech teacher gives some kids she works with coffee (with parents' approval) and it has helped.

I teach school and so I can speak from mommy and teacher points of view. I teach a lot of kids on meds. For many of them, meds do alter personality as well as appetite. There are some kids that meds help a great deal and truly make a HUGE difference in their ability to do well in school.

Other kids I teach, the meds don't seem to make that much difference and it's just not worth all the negatives.

Some parents only give meds during school yr and let the child be themselves during summer, during school holidays, and on weekends and don't give meds at those times.

I hope you can figure something out that works well for your child and makes you and hubby content.
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akLiLmama907
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I've considered homeschooling.... but idk... how has it helped?

Quoting QueenCreole313:

I've chosen note to medicate. We decided to homeschool. It's been great.


akLiLmama907
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:48 AM

Thank You, yes we have, but i let him have ketchup occasionally... 

we did the coffee, it helped for a few weeks....

my aunt does that for my 8 yo cousin, only gives him meds  on school days, and he's done very well. But  I know of some kids that lost weight and were not the same kid at all on meds... He is very healthy and i dont want him losing weight...  :( I just worry since his school work is affected.. 

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

Have you eliminated artificial dyes and things like that from his diet? If you haven't researched recommended other things to eliminate from his diet and try that for a while first, that's where I would start.

You may want to research the idea of coffee first thing in the morning too. It may sound counterproductive but for some kids, it works well. Our speech teacher gives some kids she works with coffee (with parents' approval) and it has helped.

I teach school and so I can speak from mommy and teacher points of view. I teach a lot of kids on meds. For many of them, meds do alter personality as well as appetite. There are some kids that meds help a great deal and truly make a HUGE difference in their ability to do well in school.

Other kids I teach, the meds don't seem to make that much difference and it's just not worth all the negatives.

Some parents only give meds during school yr and let the child be themselves during summer, during school holidays, and on weekends and don't give meds at those times.

I hope you can figure something out that works well for your child and makes you and hubby content.


Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Have you asked for a behavioral specialist to evaluate and offer recommendations? There are special things for kids to sit on that help some kids (not sure what they are called) and Velcro under the desk/table for the child to touch are a few things I've heard of that help some kids' behavior issues.


Quoting akLiLmama907:

Thank You, yes we have, but i let him have ketchup occasionally... 

we did the coffee, it helped for a few weeks....

my aunt does that for my 8 yo cousin, only gives him meds  on school days, and he's done very well. But  I know of some kids that lost weight and were not the same kid at all on meds... He is very healthy and i dont want him losing weight...  :( I just worry since his school work is affected.. 

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

Have you eliminated artificial dyes and things like that from his diet? If you haven't researched recommended other things to eliminate from his diet and try that for a while first, that's where I would start.



You may want to research the idea of coffee first thing in the morning too. It may sound counterproductive but for some kids, it works well. Our speech teacher gives some kids she works with coffee (with parents' approval) and it has helped.



I teach school and so I can speak from mommy and teacher points of view. I teach a lot of kids on meds. For many of them, meds do alter personality as well as appetite. There are some kids that meds help a great deal and truly make a HUGE difference in their ability to do well in school.



Other kids I teach, the meds don't seem to make that much difference and it's just not worth all the negatives.



Some parents only give meds during school yr and let the child be themselves during summer, during school holidays, and on weekends and don't give meds at those times.



I hope you can figure something out that works well for your child and makes you and hubby content.



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LadyNCVE
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:22 AM

I'm in the same situation you are, but my son is 5.  I refuse to medicate at this point.  I cant justify medicating because he's come across a teacher that has a harder time working with him.  My son is pretty smart, and is an ace at math too!  He ability to learn is fine.  He's just basically an inconvenience when he doesnt follow direction or sit still. For that reason, I dont see how medication will benefit MY SON at the moment.  Maybe as he gets older and will need to focus more to study.  Besides right now we should be "teaching" them to focus and self-discipline.  I feel my son has to learn how to manage his impulses rather than cover them up with meds. I'm having my son evaluated currently.  And I also plan on putting a little more pressure on the school to offer alternative learning solutions.  I believe it's supposed to be a team effort.  I feel it's my responsibility to manage it all, but I do feel I should be getting support from the teacher and school.  I suggest doing some more research on your options and rights.   

Verrine
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:46 AM
5 moms liked this

What you and he are doing is not working. Try something else. He can't do what is expected of him without adequate tools. If he had bad vision, not only would you ask for seating up front and larger print, you'd get him glasses. Would you just ask him to try and see better? When you have a headache, do you wish it away or take something? 

My son was undiagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. He was one of the problem kids. He tried so much harder than the other kids every day and he couldn't "be good." He really likes to follow rules, so this made him feel awful. I got notes. I got phone calls. Do you want to go to work every day, try your best, and fail? 

We medicated for 1st grade. His behavior was so good that the teacher forgot I had said he had ADHD. He even won a behavior award! He felt good about himself every day. 

He is still incredibly funny and everyone loves him. He is full of personality. He is the opposite of a zombie. His current teacher didn't think he was medicated for ADHD and I even had her fill out an evaluation for the doctor.

No mom wants to medicate, but the right medication can really change everything in a positive way. If you try it and hate it, then you can stop at any time. 

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:03 AM
1 mom liked this
The thing is, it's not just about your child when we're talking behavior issues at school. A child's off task behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum. The behavior distracts other kids as well.

I am not saying I think all kids need meds. However, if all other options have been tried and nothing works long term, meds should be used. One child's repeated off task behavior affects more than that child. Plus, I don't want my child to be seen by teachers and/or classmates as the kid that is always in trouble. It's not a label I want him to carry all thru school. Nor do I want my child being "that kid" that teachers don't want in their class because he cannot behave.


Quoting LadyNCVE:

I'm in the same situation you are, but my son is 5.  I refuse to medicate at this point.  I cant justify medicating because he's come across a teacher that has a harder time working with him.  My son is pretty smart, and is an ace at math too!  He ability to learn is fine.  He's just basically an inconvenience when he doesnt follow direction or sit still. For that reason, I dont see how medication will benefit MY SON at the moment.  Maybe as he gets older and will need to focus more to study.  Besides right now we should be "teaching" them to focus and self-discipline.  I feel my son has to learn how to manage his impulses rather than cover them up with meds. I'm having my son evaluated currently.  And I also plan on putting a little more pressure on the school to offer alternative learning solutions.  I believe it's supposed to be a team effort.  I feel it's my responsibility to manage it all, but I do feel I should be getting support from the teacher and school.  I suggest doing some more research on your options and rights.   


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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:10 AM
3 moms liked this

I could have written this post word for word. Down to DS asking, "Why did God make me stupid?"

I also ended up removing him from school and homeschooling. Best decission EVER for him and our family.

We could do lessons standing up, or sitting on an exercise ball so he could wiggle as he worked. We coul.d spend more time on subjects when he DID have the focus and break them down into smaller bites on bad days.

Part of the ADHD for my Ds was sleep issues. I found if I let him sleep and wake on his own  igot a goot 3 hours of focus time, however, if I woke him up it was mybe an hour and we needed more breaks through the day.

I will not lie and say it was all fun and games. it was a big transition for the whole family but it has been a blessing and DS is turning into an AMAZING young man who is learning to cope as he matures.

I HATE when people say, "Well if he had bad eyesight, wouldn't you give him glasses?" ADHD is SO different. Most kids, aren't really hyper, they just are different types of learnes. they are the hands-on, need to experience life learners, not those that get info out of a book. Getting them out of their seats and off their butts IS getting them glasses!

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

churchlady08
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Our daughter is 15 and last year, she was diagnosed with A.D.H.D but more along the realms of A.D.D. where she could not focus on her work or reading for very long.  Before puberty set in at 13, she had no problem making good grades, friends, had good behavior in school but last Spring, this all change.  She became moody, withdrawn, and we had a doctor look at her and she found it was Depression so, she was placed on medication which did help.  She had some bad days at the end of the year.  Missed alot of school.  Only one teacher would work with us.  None of the other teachers would and those teachers pretty much labeled her a bad kid because of the Depression diagnosis.  She ended up dumping her friends and later we found that was due to their making bad choices which we knew were drugs and drinking so, Summer was quiet and lonely for her but, she made good choices to stay away from those girls. She seemed excited about high school and went one week.  We met with the principal and thought he and the administration and special ed team would work with us as she was refered to a neurologist over the Summer who tested her and found she did have A.D.H.D.  It turned out that his feeling about her was that kids like our daughter become "social outcasts" anyway and she did not need an IEP.  Since she was not a cheerleader, popular(she had been both of those things in middle school), A+ student, etc., she was not worth their time and trouble to help her succeed.  I came home after this meeting with him, had a talk with my husband and this upset him and we then decided to homeschool her.  The BEST decision we ever made.  We found a Christian teacher-based homeschool program through a friend I used to work with whose kids also use this program and the teachers, administration, and staff there are AMAZING!  Very understanding of her illness and very supportive.  She is encouraged to learn at her own pace.  She just finished up her 1st semester.  Her grades are not A+'s but that is okay.  What counts is that she is happier.   

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