Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

7 year old with ADHD struggling at school...

Posted by   + Show Post

Hi Ladies!

  I'm new to this group, my name is Jessica.  My husband and I have two children, Kaden is 7, Keyahna is 3. 

Kaden has always been an energetic lil man, it's progressively getting worse.  He has always struggled with reading but an ace when it comes to math. We had a conference with his teacher today, who basically said he is too hyper, has a hard time focusing on anything that requires him to focus.  Over the years we have tried numerous suggestions to keep him off meds,  as DH and I would rather find a more natural way to get his behaviour under control.  We noticed sugar effects him in a huge way, he gets hyper, than very defiant, than very emotional, like clockwork 20-30 minutes after he has sugar.  Even some fruits effect him!  We have done our best to avoid meds, I'm afraid they will change him and he wont be my goofy little man anymore. 

After this last meeting, I'm really considering trying it... He feels like a bad kid because he seems to always be in trouble, he says he's stupid (which breaks my heart) He is behind his peers big time in reading, his math scores are dropping because of this.  I'm just frustrated.  He is a good kid,  he has a big heart, he loves to help me clean up, he watches tv often but no video games other than his leap pad explorer 2, which we got to help with reading as it's more interesting to him than most books. But nothing is helping and the teachers act like we're bad parents, and seem to be pushing for us to put him on meds... DH is pissing me off, he says Kaden could control it if he wanted and is against meds, I don't agree.  I am worried about the struggles our son may face if we don't find a way to help him..... idk....  I'm really upset about all of this, and my husband and I usually agree on things  when it comes to the children but not this time.

I just want what's best for our son, I know he's smart, I know he doesn't mean to act this way.  I just don't know what to do.... sorry this got so long, I'm just concerned... 

Please share your experiences with your children with ADHD, with or without meds.

or just your opinion on this...

Thank You for your time.

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 5:57 AM
Replies (21-30):
MsLogansMommy
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 6:20 PM

 

you are right it is chadd.org i always put in chadd.com and it redirects me but thanks for correcting that cause it may not redirect on some computers i agree it is a great sight with tons of info

Quoting janitablue:

When I read your post I can relate especially on the husband part. Knowledge is the Power be inform because you are a advocate for your child.  You have the best tool to learn about ADHD that is the computer. The most important thing is to figure what works for you and also be consistent.  Keep a journal.I have post this site before and I love this site. Click on http://www.chadd.org/ .

My son was evaluate last year and I got the paper work from the doctor office(long story) two weeks ago and I discover my son has ADHD. I can not tell you meds are the right or wrong thing because 1. I am still trying to figure out what works for my son. 2. Every child is different  some children work best with meds and behavior therapy, some with only meds, other with behavior therapy. You have to figure out what works best for your son. It  is hard road but don't get discourage you have my support and you can always get advice here in this group. 

 


 

LadyNCVE
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 8:56 PM


well said!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I could have written this post word for word. Down to DS asking, "Why did God make me stupid?"

I also ended up removing him from school and homeschooling. Best decission EVER for him and our family.

We could do lessons standing up, or sitting on an exercise ball so he could wiggle as he worked. We coul.d spend more time on subjects when he DID have the focus and break them down into smaller bites on bad days.

Part of the ADHD for my Ds was sleep issues. I found if I let him sleep and wake on his own  igot a goot 3 hours of focus time, however, if I woke him up it was mybe an hour and we needed more breaks through the day.

I will not lie and say it was all fun and games. it was a big transition for the whole family but it has been a blessing and DS is turning into an AMAZING young man who is learning to cope as he matures.

I HATE when people say, "Well if he had bad eyesight, wouldn't you give him glasses?" ADHD is SO different. Most kids, aren't really hyper, they just are different types of learnes. they are the hands-on, need to experience life learners, not those that get info out of a book. Getting them out of their seats and off their butts IS getting them glasses!



LadyNCVE
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 9:07 PM


Shouldn't one of the things that should be tried prior to medication be support from teacher and school?  If a child can do his work standing up, shouldnt that be tried? If a child gets antsy after sitting for a while, shoudn't they be allowed to take a walk to the water fountain?  

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

The thing is, it's not just about your child when we're talking behavior issues at school. A child's off task behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum. The behavior distracts other kids as well.

I am not saying I think all kids need meds. However, if all other options have been tried and nothing works long term, meds should be used. One child's repeated off task behavior affects more than that child. Plus, I don't want my child to be seen by teachers and/or classmates as the kid that is always in trouble. It's not a label I want him to carry all thru school. Nor do I want my child being "that kid" that teachers don't want in their class because he cannot behave.


Quoting LadyNCVE:

I'm in the same situation you are, but my son is 5.  I refuse to medicate at this point.  I cant justify medicating because he's come across a teacher that has a harder time working with him.  My son is pretty smart, and is an ace at math too!  He ability to learn is fine.  He's just basically an inconvenience when he doesnt follow direction or sit still. For that reason, I dont see how medication will benefit MY SON at the moment.  Maybe as he gets older and will need to focus more to study.  Besides right now we should be "teaching" them to focus and self-discipline.  I feel my son has to learn how to manage his impulses rather than cover them up with meds. I'm having my son evaluated currently.  And I also plan on putting a little more pressure on the school to offer alternative learning solutions.  I believe it's supposed to be a team effort.  I feel it's my responsibility to manage it all, but I do feel I should be getting support from the teacher and school.  I suggest doing some more research on your options and rights.   




AlohaTink
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Ds takes ADHD meds and has completed behavior therapy. He's doing amazing and I'm so proud of how much he's changed for the better since :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:22 PM
There are accommodations that can be made, including a requirement for frequent breaks.

I don't think I made any indication that those things couldn't be done.

Teachers and school (at least public schools) are required by law to work with recommendations from parents.


Quoting LadyNCVE:


Shouldn't one of the things that should be tried prior to medication be support from teacher and school?  If a child can do his work standing up, shouldnt that be tried? If a child gets antsy after sitting for a while, shoudn't they be allowed to take a walk to the water fountain?  


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

The thing is, it's not just about your child when we're talking behavior issues at school. A child's off task behavior doesn't happen in a vacuum. The behavior distracts other kids as well.



I am not saying I think all kids need meds. However, if all other options have been tried and nothing works long term, meds should be used. One child's repeated off task behavior affects more than that child. Plus, I don't want my child to be seen by teachers and/or classmates as the kid that is always in trouble. It's not a label I want him to carry all thru school. Nor do I want my child being "that kid" that teachers don't want in their class because he cannot behave.





Quoting LadyNCVE:

I'm in the same situation you are, but my son is 5.  I refuse to medicate at this point.  I cant justify medicating because he's come across a teacher that has a harder time working with him.  My son is pretty smart, and is an ace at math too!  He ability to learn is fine.  He's just basically an inconvenience when he doesnt follow direction or sit still. For that reason, I dont see how medication will benefit MY SON at the moment.  Maybe as he gets older and will need to focus more to study.  Besides right now we should be "teaching" them to focus and self-discipline.  I feel my son has to learn how to manage his impulses rather than cover them up with meds. I'm having my son evaluated currently.  And I also plan on putting a little more pressure on the school to offer alternative learning solutions.  I believe it's supposed to be a team effort.  I feel it's my responsibility to manage it all, but I do feel I should be getting support from the teacher and school.  I suggest doing some more research on your options and rights.   







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:25 PM
3 moms liked this
I'm of the opinion that I'm going to give my child every tool I can to help him succeed. Medication may not be the first, or second, or even tenth choice. I understand your concerns. But if you've tried everything else, and this is having a documented impact on your son's ability to learn, then why would you not reconsider medication?

You'd be happy to have the doctor give him a cast on a broken arm, or penicillin for pneumonia... Could this be similar?

Or maybe (as some have suggested) homeschooling might be a good option for your child. Only you know that. I have dear friends who have been very successful in homeschooling an ADHD child, others for whom dietary changes have done the trick, and some for whom medication has been a game changer. There is no one-size-fits-all, but at 7yo with a diagnosed issue, he can't just "manage it". You're already beginning to see the fallout from that in his school work and his self-esteem.

Btw, I completely agree with PPs that medication that changes your child's personality is not a good fit. It could take a while to work things out if you go that route, but you'd be working towards long-term success. Either way, I wish you the best as you continue to explore how to support your son in this.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
freelas88
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:40 PM

We are sort of in the same postion, only it's my SD and her pediatrician put her on Aderol and she was awesome the first week and then right back to the same person she was before the medication. I don't know that it has had any negative affects on her, but at this point I don't feel that it is helping. If I were in your shoes I would set up a meeting with the school counselor and discuss other options with him/her first and then maybe see about your DS seeing an advisor or couselor. Hope this helps. 

Steph1499
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:50 PM

We do use meds.  My son has been on them since he was 6 and is 10 now.  Meds are trial and error.  We got a good med the second try.  The first was adderal and it made him super emotional which I just called the doc after a few days and told her and we changed to focalin xr.  We worked our way up to the dose he is on now but he was on the same dose for a few year and just up-ed it a few weeks ago.  He has calmed down with age but gets very overwhelmed and is has behavioral issues as well.  My take on meds is that you can take him off if you want.  Once the dosage is right and med is right I saw a different kid.  We changed the dose during christmas break and my sons teachers said it was like a different kid came back.  We knew his meds needed to be increased.  No one wants to put their child on meds but I think if it works for the child then it shouldnt matter what the opinion is.  I want my child to do well in school and progress.  Meds start off on a low dose and are increased if needed.  You can try them and if its not something you want take him off.  He will not just turn into a zombie or anything like that.  A med may not agree with him but then you tell the doc and they change it.  I am glad I did it.  Some do fine with other things changed but my son did not and it helped with his behavior as well as focus in school.  You should join the adhd groups on Cafemom they are super helpful and you will have moms who do medicate and some that dont.  

rollinthunder6
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:41 AM

 

I have been there. Really look at his actions and note it all. I was against meds at first. Do your research as well, be pro active for him. I always heard ADHD and as I researched and I tried to not medicate, his behaviors became so sever I had no choice.As The behaviors continued I Found it was not only ADHD but a whole lot more. My son was never a zombie. He was still able to do everything as before. My case was worse then I ever thought and at 17 now and every DR.  We found it was Mild Autism and Bi-polar with ADHD and ODD. PLEASE be honest about him.  DR love to just say ADHD because they can grow out of it. wishing it away will only make it worse. I don't want to scare you, but take it as someone who has been there. closing your eyes will not fix anything.

Always put him first not what you want what he needs.

Quoting Verrine:

What you and he are doing is not working. Try something else. He can't do what is expected of him without adequate tools. If he had bad vision, not only would you ask for seating up front and larger print, you'd get him glasses. Would you just ask him to try and see better? When you have a headache, do you wish it away or take something? 

My son was undiagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. He was one of the problem kids. He tried so much harder than the other kids every day and he couldn't "be good." He really likes to follow rules, so this made him feel awful. I got notes. I got phone calls. Do you want to go to work every day, try your best, and fail? 

We medicated for 1st grade. His behavior was so good that the teacher forgot I had said he had ADHD. He even won a behavior award! He felt good about himself every day. 

He is still incredibly funny and everyone loves him. He is full of personality. He is the opposite of a zombie. His current teacher didn't think he was medicated for ADHD and I even had her fill out an evaluation for the doctor.

No mom wants to medicate, but the right medication can really change everything in a positive way. If you try it and hate it, then you can stop at any time. 


 

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Medicine has to be tweaked. It's not like other meds for other issues. Meds for ADHD have to be fine tuned. Let the dr know what's going on and they can tinker with the med, dosage, etc until you find the right med and dosage for your child's needs.


Quoting freelas88:

We are sort of in the same postion, only it's my SD and her pediatrician put her on Aderol and she was awesome the first week and then right back to the same person she was before the medication. I don't know that it has had any negative affects on her, but at this point I don't feel that it is helping. If I were in your shoes I would set up a meeting with the school counselor and discuss other options with him/her first and then maybe see about your DS seeing an advisor or couselor. Hope this helps. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN