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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

comfort objects

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:05 PM
  • 23 Replies

SS5 has a stuffed puppy that he got when he was just an infant. He brings it back and forth between BM and DH’s house.

 

Anyways, about three weeks ago we went to his parent teacher conference. The teacher asked who Puppy was, because SS is always writing about him in his journal. We explained that it was an old stuffed animal that he’s always clung too. She described it to us and said that she’d seen SS in town a few days ago (when he was with BM) and she’d noticed he was carrying it with him.

 

She said she was a little concerned, because by this age (5 – 6) most kids don’t carry their stuffed animals around. She said that playing with it at home or sleeping with it, is one thing, but carrying into stores and restaurants is another. She also said that he seemed very childish when he was carrying around his puppy, compared to how he acts in the classroom. She did say that it’s common for kids to act shy when they see their teachers in town and a lot of kids act differently at home than they do at school, but she was really surprised at how different he seemed (she said he even looked more child-like). This kind of shocked us, because we’ve also noticed more childish behavior when he carries the stuffed dog around (baby voices, more whining, more demanding and impatient, etc.) She suggested trying to wean him off of his puppy.  

 

My question is – did you wean your kids off of their comfort objects or just let them move on, on their own?

 

We’ve gotten to a point where Puppy usually stays at home or, at the very least, stays in the car. However, we can’t enforce what goes on at BM’s house (we’re 50/50). We do feel like he starts to forget about Puppy when he’s with us, but as soon as it’s time to switch houses, he suddenly remembers Puppy and can’t do anything without him. We’ve also noticed, that he tends to ‘talk through’ Puppy. For instance, instead of telling me he loves me, he’ll say, “Puppy loves you” or he’ll talk in ‘Puppy’s voice’ to say, “I love you.”

 

I’m just curious – Is this a phase? Did your kids do this? Do you wean them off of their comfort objects? How did you do it?

 

One last note : SS is the youngest in his school. His birthday is right before the cutoff date, so everyone in his class is older than him.

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Yikes! This is a tough one. As a parent I never let the kids take items like that from the house even when they were toddlers. It sounds like the teacher is concerned about his lack of maturity in AND out of the classroom. I think it's imperative that ALL of you get on the same page with this. Good luck!
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Given that he is bouncing between homes, I wouldn't worry about him having Puppy. He needs something stable but I would limit where it goes.

I am very ANTI~LOVEY....once they are around 2 yo, I make them stay at home. If they get old and ragged, it gets tossed. My grand~niece has a tattered scrap of blankie that is NASTY and she screams, tantrums,and goes into hysterics if anyone even touches it. OMG...
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MrsApple
by Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:17 PM

I'm torn on this.My daughter is 6 and still highly attatched to her "lovie" that she's had since she turned 1.Ballie still occasionally comes in to stores or restaurants with us and is almost always within an arms reach away when we're home BUT she doesn't show any of the same behaviors you mentioned when she has Ballie with her.

You mention that you mostly notice the behavior when he's about to go back to BM's...have y'all sat down with her and talked about this? Mention your discussion with the teacher and her worries,and the behavior you've both noticed and see if she has the same worries.You all need to be on the same page so you can figure out what may be going on.If it's just anxiety,see how y'all can help him with it.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:29 PM

My son is 5 but in preK. He has his bear, but we starting restricting Bear's travels when he was around 3. The main reason is because I was worried we'd lose it. But I also don't want him relying on an object for security. He needs to be secure in himself. 


LucyHarper
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:32 PM

My five year old has a bear that is very important to him that he sleeps with. Our rule is stuffed animals stay at home, this started when he was two. Otherwise they could get lost and they are simply getting old enough that they don't need to drag a stuffed animal around everywhere they go. Since it seems to be causing problems, I would simply tell him that puppy stays at home, so he can be safe and we don't want him getting lost, cold, or dirty, so puppy would rather stay on his nice warm bed. Talk to his mother and try to get her on board.

kjbugsmom1517
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:34 PM
MMy kids were and still are not allowed to leave the house with anything like that. Has always been that way. May be time to limit puppys outings
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mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh Pttttttpt. Poppycock.  There is nothing wrong with having a stuffed toy or whatever along. My kids are not immature but at 10 my daughter likes to bring her stuffed owl along on outings. And my 8 yr old brings her favorite blanket or stuffed animal of the week. Does she rely on it for comfort out of the home? No. She just likes it. We usually tell them to leave it in the car so it doesn't get lost. It all depends where we are going and if taking it along is appropriate or not. Sometimes I tell them they can put it in a bag, but then they have to carry it, not me.  

People want kids to grow up so fast. If he is carrying a stuffed toy around to highschool, then I would be concerned.

PinkButterfly66
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:24 PM

Don't try to wean him from Puppy.  Your ss is a child of divorced parents, he needs Puppy.  Tell that teacher that when she gets her degree in child psychology, then she can tell you what she thinks about your stepson and Puppy.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:32 PM
Liking to have it to play with is very different situation than being dependent on it and regressing to acting like a baby when cuddling it.


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

Oh Pttttttpt. Poppycock.  There is nothing wrong with having a stuffed toy or whatever along. My kids are not immature but at 10 my daughter likes to bring her stuffed owl along on outings. And my 8 yr old brings her favorite blanket or stuffed animal of the week. Does she rely on it for comfort out of the home? No. She just likes it. We usually tell them to leave it in the car so it doesn't get lost. It all depends where we are going and if taking it along is appropriate or not. Sometimes I tell them they can put it in a bag, but then they have to carry it, not me.  


People want kids to grow up so fast. If he is carrying a stuffed toy around to highschool, then I would be concerned.


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diaperstodating
by Angel on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:45 PM
I agree with this.


Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Don't try to wean him from Puppy.  Your ss is a child of divorced parents, he needs Puppy.  Tell that teacher that when she gets her degree in child psychology, then she can tell you what she thinks about your stepson and Puppy.


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