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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My 6 yr old is afraid I'm going to die!!

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:20 AM
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I went to my Uncles wake yesterday and DS stayed home with DH. He kept calling me saying I was gone too long and when I got home he was very excited to see me was completely normal until it was time for bed I gave him a hug and a kiss and started walking away and he jumped up and wrapped his arms around me and told me when I was gone he just kept thinking what's going to happen when I die :-( it broke my heart. I told him I'm not going to die for a very long time and pointed out how my mom is still alive and even my grandmother. I know things could happen but should I even mention that?

I don't know how to handle this!!!! (And now I'm kinda freaked out that in going to die soon)
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:20 AM
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Lindsayhoy0612
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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LEY1307
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:31 AM
My 6 yr old has said that he's scared I'm going to die. When he got off the bus one day, the first thing he said was, "I thought you got hit by a car this morning and I was scared that you died." I was paranoid the rest of the day!
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STVUstudent
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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I think it is something they become aware of at around 5-6.  My twins have suddenly become very aware of the idea of death, and asking questions about when so and so are going to die, when did this or that person die, where are they now, can they come back- all that kind of stuff.  They are just coming into a very basic understanding of the permanence of death as well.

I wouldn't worry about it.  Just assure him that you are not planning to die anytime soon, and that he will be taken care of.  My kids were worried about who would take care of them.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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You can also explain it, if you attend church, through your religion. I know when my kids were little that's how we explained death.

Hafsa1
by Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:31 AM
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My ds at one point kept asking me a lot of questions about dying. Then asked me if I was going to die. I told him hopefully not for a very long time. He started crying, saying "but who will cuddle me? Who will give me snacks? Who will love me?, etc". So I explained that everyone eventually dies so hopefully I will be very old. He seemed to understand. Then he started telling everyone that I was going to die, even the cashiers at the store, and they'd get this horrified look on their face.
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abigailesmommy
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:40 AM
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I think it is very common for children to fear the loss of a parent. I tell my daughter a few things. I tell her that God is in control. I tell her that I don't plan on anything happening to me and I plan on living to be an old lady. Then I ask her who would be there for her if I did die. We start listing all the loving and supportive people she has in her life. We talk about how she will never be abandoned and how though it would be really hard there would be so many people loving her and caring for her. Listing them really helps. I tell her that her father is a very strong and very good father. We talk about how death is part of life and where we believe we are going when we die. (we believe in heaven but if you don't you can just skip the religious parts) I remind her again that I am not going anywhere right now. And finally I tell her that her job is to help her little sister through her sadness and confusion by loving her. 

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:41 AM
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 ((Hugs)) to your son! I was scared of the same thing at the age of 6. Maybe you could find a book concerning this subject or if you are religious go that route?

Rae706
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:55 AM

We went through a period where SD thought her mom had cancer. She would constantly either be asking about her or calling her to ask how she was feeling. It was really sad! I think you did the right thing reassuring him. No need to worry him over the possibilities. . . SD was 6 or 7 when that was going on, so maybe its just a normal thing for their age.

corrinacs
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:58 AM
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I would be honest, but I would also be very assuring.  Ask him why these feelings came about, there may be a deeper rooted problem.  Maybe teh loss of your uncle.  

I would point out that no matter what, you will always be alive in his heart :).  And make a promise to hug and say you love him everyday :).

gingerprincess
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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My son is 6 as well and he is going through the same thing. We also just lost our uncle and I think that it what makes them so aware of death. They realize that if this person could die then anyone could at any time including their Mommy.

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