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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Relocated, Now Kids are Struggling in School

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • 16 Replies

Hi, moms!  I just joined Cafe Mom's today and this is my very first post.  I've been a SAHM only since November 2012, when I left the crazy busy corporate world to relocate to a very rural area for my husband's job.  Other than missing their friends and former school, my 7 and 9 yo seemed to handle the move very well.  Suddenly my 9 yo's grades have all dropped (some from As to Cs, just in the 4 months we've been here). I'm scheduling meetings with the teachers to get the full picture as to what's going on (not getting my from my son), but I'm also beating myself up because now that we have more time together, they are supposed to flourish, right?? And moving from our high ranked school in a metropolitan area to such a rural area, they are supposed to be ahead of their peers (only in my mind - trust me, I'm already over this idea as their new school is fantastic). This is more unloading than an actual question, but I would like to know if any of you have experienced anything similar and how you managed.  To the Parenthood viewers, I really sympathized with Julia when she struggled after quitting her job, minus the great house and perfect skin.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:45 AM

I'm going to be honest here.  I think sometimes, because moms stay home they tend to not expect as much out of their kids.  When you are working, in order for the household to run smoothly, you must be organized and the kids HAVE to be responsible.  My guess, without seeing your home, is that you have gotten a little lax on certain things and the kids have fallen in to a pattern of laziness.  Also, the new school might be a little more laid back and that could be adding to the structure problem.  When I am at home during the summer, I find I am not as productive as I am when I am working, which where I am coming from.  Good luck.

natesmom1228
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 8:48 AM

Welcome to the group!!

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:11 AM

 Welcome!

Adjusting to a new school can take a while. Sometimes kids seem to do well at first, then backslide. Or, it could be that the material is harder than they expected. Meeting w/ the teachers is a great start.

When we moved, the summer before ds1 started 2nd gr, we thought he'd do ok b/c he had been in one of the best elem schools in our old district. Well, turns out he was behind where his new school was- they were reviewing things at the start of the yr that he hadn't even learned yet. His grades did slip some b/c of that. He had a wonderful teacher, though, who worked w/ him in class, and between her and us at home, we got him caught up.

 

 

 

 

 

amberdotsmom
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:50 AM

Ask him about his friends too.  Unless the meeting with the teacher makes it very clear that it's the material and he started out the year behind.   He may have made friends with kids who are less study conscious than he is or, because it's rural they just have more chances and places to play around. Not saying he's friends with a bad crowd but it might just a message of you can study later let's play baseball after school.  And if you combine that with an unfamiliar curriculum especially when they're new and trying to fit in he might just be pushing his school work to the back of his priorities.

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:24 AM


Quoting mjande4:

I'm going to be honest here.  I think sometimes, because moms stay home they tend to not expect as much out of their kids.  When you are working, in order for the household to run smoothly, you must be organized and the kids HAVE to be responsible.  My guess, without seeing your home, is that you have gotten a little lax on certain things and the kids have fallen in to a pattern of laziness.  Also, the new school might be a little more laid back and that could be adding to the structure problem.  When I am at home during the summer, I find I am not as productive as I am when I am working, which where I am coming from.  Good luck.

I agree that it really could be a structure problem. An additional factor could be that because the school is less challenging that your 9 yo is getting bored. Another factor could be just the 9 yo's age too. That's the age my son started slacking off and was not doing homework on time. We really had to start staying on top of him, making sure he understood the importance of turning in his homework on time.

TabM
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:58 AM

From my experience and what I've heard since rural schools tend to advance more quickly through curriculums than city schools. When I was little we moved from the city to a rural area I was almost a full year behind the rest of the kids both in math and writing. It didn't take long to catch up and once I did I was on track. I would meet with the teachers and find out what areas they may need some help catching up and work with them at home. I know my parents were very surprised and didn't expect that especially moving from the suburbs of philidelphia to west virginia. They expected the opposite effect. I think it may have something to do with volume in the classrooms but don't know that for sure.

Due9
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Welcome!

I have also dealt with relocating my son but it was always in early elementary school years. We are probably going to make one more move after his 6th grade year. I am also nervous about his adjustment to the new school since he is older and things get harder-like making friends and school work, etc.

Anyhow, I would talk to your child and just be very open and supportive with him. Ask him if he's happy, satisfied, has friends, likes lunchtime and recess. Don't ask in a too overbearing voice because it will make them close-up. Just be casual and direct. Ask him if he thinks the schoolwork is harder than at his previous school. This is something that will take some detective work from mom. You are doing great by setting up meetings with is teachers. They can give you some good insight into how he is doing in class-with peers and also schoolwork. Eventually, you will figure out what the issue is and you can move on from there. I believe that a stay at home mom is valuable in the way that they can be available exclusively for the kids. I don't think being a SAHM automatically means smarter kids, it still takes work and also (in your case) time to adjust to the new role and for your kids to adjust to the new surroundings. Give it time and everything will be just fine :)

14LVL
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:48 PM

 I feel for you.  This must have been a difficult decision to move in the first place and now, with all this happening, you are probably wondering if you made the right choice.  May I ask where you moved from and to?  They will adjust for sure.  Those are tough ages.  It sounds like you are a fabulous mother that only wants the best for them and it will all work out. 

lovinmama411
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 2:12 PM

I changed schools at least 30 times growing up. I know for sure that everytime I changed schools, I had to adjust. Sometimes the new school would be far behind the school I had just left, and sometimes they would be way ahead. Just when I would catch up we would move again, lol. The new school may just be a little ahead of where your kids were in the other school, maybe get them a little tutoring and I'm sure they can catch up before the year is out.

FarmMom383
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:00 PM

I have never relocated kids of my own, however when I was young we moved around ALOT!!  There are a couple things that made my grades drop when we moved especially when we moved from the city to the country.  I was so bored with the material in school because I had already learned everything so I didnt pay attention or try.  Meeting with the teacher is a great start.  My mom was also a stay at home mom, she had me so busy doing chores I didnt have time to make friends, it was also hard because most of the people in my grade lived far away from me.  Maybe if you encourage your kids to have friends over more often from their new school if they dont have them over now.  It can be hard making new friends they way kids can be so cruel now days.  Just be supportive and stick with them, I am sure everything will work out fine.  Good luck with everything!!

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