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My 6 year old gets overwhelmed so easily

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:38 AM
  • 7 Replies

My daughter has a really hard time doing her homework, cleaning her room, and even playing with other children. She seems to get so frustrated and overwhelmed so easily.  Every time we sit down to work on homework there is almost always tears. When I ask her to clean her room she has a meltdown. She has even had a meltdown from playing with one of her friends, saying they were too nice and talked too much. I have tried several different methods of dealing with this but none have worked so far. I have tried to be stern, I have tried to coddle her. I have tried giving her breaks where she can just be alone in her room to wind down a bit. I have tried doing her homework and other tasks in segments. Nothing is working. Help!

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 9:38 AM
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by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:08 AM
What grade is she in and is she young for the grade?
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:11 PM

She is in Kindergarten and turned 6 in January. She is the same age as most of her classmates. She also attended Pre-K at this school which was half day. I think the full day kindergarten is too much for her. This problem is recent. She did fine in Pre-K.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 1:25 PM

In my expereince the best way to deal with a melt down is to ignore it if you can do so safely (ie. the child is not a danger to themself or others).  Kids- even kids with ADHD like my DD- need to learn how to self regulate.  Coddling doesn't doesn't work because you are regulating their emotions for them.  She may be using the melt down as a way to manipulate you to get what she wants- like not having to clean her room or share her toys.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:11 PM

There are so many things that could be going on with daughter.  She could be in a way acting out if there has recently been something in her life that has changed that she feels she needs more attention.  My boyfriends daughter is 9, almost 10 and she used to cry everytime we did her homework, there are also other things going on in her life that are very stressfull for her right now that is to complicated to get into. But any way we got her into see a psychologist and it seems to help.  she gets one hour a week where she can tell someone everything and anything she wants, kind of like "all about her time".  she is more focused on her homework now, she still has break downs when she doesnt understand especially if her peers are teasing her that the homework is so easy.  I agree that coddling her to much is not the right thing to do but she does need to know you are there and that you are trying to understand.  When my boyfriends daughter is having trouble with homework and getting stressed we take a 10 minute break and play basketball or something else she likes, when we go back to the homework she is more calm and ready to retry.  Possitive re-enforcement is more productive than negative re-enforcement.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:57 PM

We try to give dd a break after school for about 30 minutes where she can have a snack and watch a program on tv.  Then she needs to do her homework.  She is in first grade so her homework is a math worksheet and reading w/ writing in a homework journal.  We are struggling with the writing journal since she hates writing in general.  If she does not do her homework, she can go to bed for the night and do her homework when she gets up.   I would get dd checked out if she is overwhelmed by many things.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:47 AM

DSS, who is 5, gets like that as well...  His teacher at the beginning of the year described him as "a soda bottle that someone has been shaking all day [even if there is no obvious shaking] and eventually he just pops"

Social settings overwhelm him because he has an emotional problem (we're not labelling him, so the diagnosis is irrelevant), and homework and school have a tendency to overwhelm him because he has a learning disability... He has a processing problem, which is kind of like a short term memory problem... and it frustrates him to the point of him shutting down or deliberately getting in trouble to try to get the homework to stop...

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:03 AM

My daughter was overwhelmed when she began all day school.  Her sleep patterns were thrown off, causing melt downs at school and at home.  So, what we did was let her decompress as soon as she got home.  So, we didn't make her do her homework the minute she walked into the school.

As far as chores, yeah, she liked to manipulate that.  So, we started giving her choices and none of them included a meltdown.  That confused her at first.  She wasn't use to making her own choices.  But, the idea works very well.

She use to have the same problem with her friends.  So, we would tell her, she can have a meltdown in her room without her friends or figure out how to play nicely with her friends even if she wasn't getting what she wanted.  We also told her, when she throws a fit around her friends, she was disrespecting them and that wasn't a nice thing to do. It took awhile, but it finally sets in and in time the behavior will change.

Hope this helps!!!!

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