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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Just venting

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM
  • 11 Replies

 I have 2 boys (son and SS) that are in 2 different grades at 2 different schools. We have the complete opposite problem going on with both of them and it seems neither school is stepping up and working to resolve the issues. At this point, I don't need advice (YET) I think I just need to vent before I have a mental breakdown. Between buying a house, wedding planning and the problems with the schools I want to break down and cry. I think I'll only explain the issue with my youngest now, otherwise it will seem like a freaking novel and I'm sure no one will read it!

 My Son is 7 and in 1st grade. His issue involves another little boy in his class. This little boy tries to "Fight" my son almost daily. Throwing punches and acting like a karate kid.  They have been in class together since Kindergarten and it's happened on and off since then, but lately it's been getting worse. 

In the beginning of the year he shoved my son into his locker and my son had to write a paper on "proper hallway behavior". The teacher wouldn't even give him a chance to explain himself. Last week he tackled my son at recess and smashed his face into the snow. He's thrown ice chunks at him during recess.  I *Think* he does it out of play, but my Son says he's "afraid of getting hurt and in trouble and he's nervous to go to school because he doesn't want J to do it again".

  My son has taken some Karate self defense classes and knows how to block the punches and I've told him to say "No, J", block anything that gets thrown his way and walk away. He's been doing that for about 2 weeks now and almost daily comes home saying they got in trouble for fighting. He swears he did exactly what I told him to do, but he's still getting in trouble. Getting in trouble for defending himself!

 We met with the teacher about it last week. The teacher was flaky about the whole thing and kept changing the subject to my son being easily distracted while doing worksheets. After about 30 min of us bringing the focus back to the subject of the "bullying", the teacher said that he would make sure they are separated in line, aren't sitting near each other, have a talk with both boys and pay closer attention to them. Well, yesterday it happened again. In line. They weren't separated and the boy turned around and started throwing punches. Dawson blocked them and yelled "No, J". They both got yelled at and sent to the back of the line...together.

 I'm pissed that this is continuing. Why is nothing happening to this boy that is THROWING PUNCHES at my son?! Why is my Son getting in trouble for defending himself? Why is the teacher not following through with what he said he was going to do?? We are supposedly a "No tolerance" school, but this has been tolerated since the beginning of the year and it's getting old. Even if it is out of play, no child should be allowed to throw punches at another child, repeatedly.

I'm to the point that I just want to tell my son to punch this kid. If he's going to get in trouble, might as well get in trouble for actually doing something and maybe punching him will get this kid to stop messing with him.

 I've mostly been dealing with it in the past because my DF (son's Dad) has been pretty pissed off about it and I'm better at the initial approach. Well now Daddy Bear has stepped in and has sent an email to the teacher and has a draft email written up to send to the principal if the teacher still won't do anything about it. Sigh.

If you've made it this far, thank you! I know it's a long read but I feel much better getting it out!

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsLogansMommy
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:59 PM

hugs to you. this sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I hope the teacher responds appropriately. Keep us updated.

jen113000
by Jenna on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Wow, sorry your son is going through that. I hope the teacher takes this seriously now. 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:55 PM
I know I will be bashed...violence isn't the answer..blah blah...

But this is long past being nice...tell him to take himdown..block and take down.Lay him on his back and walk away and tell someone.
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HillaryFedoroff
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:13 PM

I am so sorry your son (and you!) are going through this! We went through this with one little boy in my son's grade/class last school year.  It got to the point where this little boy punched mine, and my son decked him right back (which is what I was always taught, but I know some things are "different" now...but really, I was taught to defend myself and I teach my son the same)...the school called and discussed behavior with me, even though the  bus driver stated that the other little boy got in the seat and started hitting my son.  The school didn't care.  I just made it a point every single time something happened to go INTO the school and demand to speak with somebody about it.  The finally listened, but it wasn't until my son came home with scratch marks covering his poor face.  Ridiculous! 

Sarahb21
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:32 PM

Thanks! So far we haven't heard back from the teacher. The email was sent last night, so we'll see if he gets back to us after school.

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

hugs to you. this sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I hope the teacher responds appropriately. Keep us updated.


Sarahb21
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:33 PM

 I hope so. He's so freaking flaky it infuriates me!

Quoting jen113000:

Wow, sorry your son is going through that. I hope the teacher takes this seriously now. 


Sarahb21
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:35 PM

 That's honestly what it's coming too. Unfortunately, at a young age we realized he was really strong and we spent so much time teaching our son he wasn't allowed to hit or wrestle anyone except his Dad. It took a year and a half for us to teach him that it's ok to stand up for himself. But he always says "I don't want to hurt anyone, Mom. It's not nice to hurt people" It's so sweet, but dang it's not helping this situation!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I know I will be bashed...violence isn't the answer..blah blah...

But this is long past being nice...tell him to take himdown..block and take down.Lay him on his back and walk away and tell someone.


Sarahb21
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:36 PM

Wow! Is everything better now? I don't understand why these schools don't stop this behavior!!

Quoting HillaryFedoroff:

I am so sorry your son (and you!) are going through this! We went through this with one little boy in my son's grade/class last school year.  It got to the point where this little boy punched mine, and my son decked him right back (which is what I was always taught, but I know some things are "different" now...but really, I was taught to defend myself and I teach my son the same)...the school called and discussed behavior with me, even though the  bus driver stated that the other little boy got in the seat and started hitting my son.  The school didn't care.  I just made it a point every single time something happened to go INTO the school and demand to speak with somebody about it.  The finally listened, but it wasn't until my son came home with scratch marks covering his poor face.  Ridiculous! 


Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:40 PM

Haha - that's why I suggested a take-down. Not hitting back.

I have a DS very much like that, "I train because I like sparring, I really don't want to hurt someone."  I train also so that I can protect myself and my family if needed.

However, part of the training SHOULD be to know the difference of when and where to use it. I know if attacked both DS and I could defend ourselvs quite well.

Quoting Sarahb21:

 That's honestly what it's coming too. Unfortunately, at a young age we realized he was really strong and we spent so much time teaching our son he wasn't allowed to hit or wrestle anyone except his Dad. It took a year and a half for us to teach him that it's ok to stand up for himself. But he always says "I don't want to hurt anyone, Mom. It's not nice to hurt people" It's so sweet, but dang it's not helping this situation!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I know I will be bashed...violence isn't the answer..blah blah...

But this is long past being nice...tell him to take himdown..block and take down.Lay him on his back and walk away and tell someone.




Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

Sarahb21
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:45 PM

 That's why we did the self defense class for him. It helped a ton. I really want to get him in Karate full time, but with his hockey and soccer going on right now, time is a little tight. Maybe this spring.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Haha - that's why I suggested a take-down. Not hitting back.

I have a DS very much like that, "I train because I like sparring, I really don't want to hurt someone."  I train also so that I can protect myself and my family if needed.

However, part of the training SHOULD be to know the difference of when and where to use it. I know if attacked both DS and I could defend ourselvs quite well.

Quoting Sarahb21:

 That's honestly what it's coming too. Unfortunately, at a young age we realized he was really strong and we spent so much time teaching our son he wasn't allowed to hit or wrestle anyone except his Dad. It took a year and a half for us to teach him that it's ok to stand up for himself. But he always says "I don't want to hurt anyone, Mom. It's not nice to hurt people" It's so sweet, but dang it's not helping this situation!

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I know I will be bashed...violence isn't the answer..blah blah...

But this is long past being nice...tell him to take himdown..block and take down.Lay him on his back and walk away and tell someone.





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