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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

i dont know what to do!! :(

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:36 AM
  • 27 Replies
I need to vent sry so long! ..my son is 6 and in the 1st grade..they have colors they change when they do something wrong..starts at blue then green yellow orange and red! He has a hard time staying on blue or green..its been like this all year! I don't like his teacher at all..she thinks he needs to be put on meds because he doesn't pay attention and loses his focus a lot..but she will make hum change his color for not going to the bathroom with the entire class even when he doesn't have too..or just turning around in his desk not even talking..she had him on a no salad list!! So when he wants to eat healthy he cant! He has to eat pizza and fries instead so i called her up and said i want him off tht list now!! She did and hes been getting salads for lunch a few days a week! Which is awesome I think because how many 6 yr olds wana eat a salad when they have pizza or burgers ya kno.. But its things like tht just aggravate me with her..she says hes so sweet and well behaved but just doesn't want to listen to directions..his grades have dropped tremendously! Hes failing reading right now but he knows how to read I've seen it and she said he can read..but hes scoring in the bottom on everything now! They have a test in April tht determines if they pass or fail which I think is just stupid! She said it doesn't matter if they have straight A's! If they fail tht test they fail for the year! They took a practice test in january and he made a 38 on it! :/ she said if they fail the practice test its going to b hard for them to pass the real test! Ugh! But I have takin stuff away from him and grounded him..gave him chores nuthin is working!! I feel like I'm the only one going through this :( idk what to do if he fails 1st grade! Hes super smart..his teacher tells me all the time but hes not taking the time to read his work and ends up getting things wrong! He doesn't like reading but hes good at it! I though of just homeschooling him but don't want him to miss socializing with other kids! Its hard cuz hes my only child so I've never went through this b4..hes been written up twice this year for hitting and pushing..once he started it..idk what to do to get him to pay attention and read his work b4 he answers..hes starting not to listen at the house now! My mom said hes just being a kid and he'll grow out of all this but I want him out of it now! I told him if hes on any color other than green or blue today then hes going to b cleaning his room all weekend! He was on red yesterday and yellow the day b4 for not paying attention and talking out..is anyone having these issues..any advice?? I feel like a bad mom when I get bad notes home from the teacher like I'm not doing anything or trying to help him but I am..I talk with him everyday about his behavior and I go over his papers tht have bad grades on them and then he gets all the answers right with me!! I don't understand y he can't do it at school! :( my mom was saying if he fails maybe it will hit him and see tht he has to do all the same work all over again and be in a class where all the kids r smaller than him..hes tall..and maybe he will straighten up! But I don't want him to fail :( sorry just had to vent and get it out there!
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:36 AM
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Having him fail isn't going to boost his self-esteem or make him work harder. If anything it will discourage him more.

Did you have an actual parent conference? I would schedule one and see if you can work on a different behavior plan. What does she do for warnings and redirection?

IMO: Most young boys are active,hands-on learners and today's school system is not designed to meet their needs. I am a big supporter of homeschooling, especially young boys. Schools crush their spirits.

As for socialization... @ @ I always laugh at that comment. Unless your child or yourself are total recluses,there are so many more opportunities to get out and be social as homeschoolers than kids being herded in a classroom! Its more realistic for kids to deal with people of all ages, than just age mate peers. Ever have a job with people all your own age?

There are so many ways to get kids out...sports, church, scouts, 4H,, parks and rec programs, library story times, etc.
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:59 AM
I forgot to add local homeschool groups and co-op classes. We have a hiking club and different activities every week.
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Jodi136525
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:07 AM

I would talk with his pediatrician and with the teacher about how to go about having him assessed for ADHD or a learning disability.  There is no harm in having him assessed, and having him diagnosed does not mean you need to place him on medications.  It may mean he will qualifiy to receive extra help in weak areas so that he can be successful in school.  The red flags for me would be his grades dropping with no clear reason as to why they should be dropping, especially when it is in reading and both you and his teacher say he is able to read.  You are also seeing that he can do his schoolwork in a quiet setting with you at home.  This leads me to think maybe he is being overstimulated and/or having trouble focusing in the classroom, both common in children with ADD or ADHD. Punishing is not the solution for bad grades or school problems if you haven't looked closely at why these are occuring.  I'd get him assessed.  The worst that can happen is that you rule out any learning or developmental problems. 

VidaLove
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Grade wise my son was in the same rut. DF & I grounded him from TV, games, snacks, he could only drink water & told him it will stay this way until we see him trying at home & at school. DS did not like this at all & immediately we saw a change in his work & his work effort. It was hard having to turn him down when our other kids got snacks or desserts, when all the kids played games & he couldn't, but we call it tough love & it did do our son good.

He knows now that if he doesn't try or get good grades, things will be taken from him.

We also added extra work after he finishes his homework. We had him write out words all the way down the paper...up to at least 5 words & also had him write his number 1-100 about 4 times. He really didn't like this but he had to do it. He would sit at the table from the time he came home from school at 2:30 until it was time for dinner. He realized that not trying took away his play time, it took away the things he likes to do & eat & that it also gave him extra work to do.

He now trys his best & doesn't give up...we've seen a big improvement :)

I hope your current situation turns around for you!

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Ugh!  I just typed up a long response on my phone and when I went to post, I didn't have service on my phone and it went away....ugh!  So, I'm going to type it up on the computer to ensure I have internet.

My son is in 1st grade also.  Their behavior management plan is a 4 step process.  They start on green.  If they get in trouble, they get to flip their clip as a warning.  Next time they move to yellow and then the next time they move to red.  At the beginning of the year he was consistantly on yellow and sometimes on red.  He was sent to the office a few times and even got a paddling once.  So I know your frustrations.  My son was tested at the end of kindergarten and has been determined to be gifted so part of his behavior issues stem from boredom.  He's in first grade but he reads on a 4th grade reading level with no problem.  His math average has been 99 this year and his ELA score has consistently been 98/99.  

Recently, pretty much since we started back to school in January, my son's behavior has been excellent.  He's been consistently on green with one or two days on yellow but no more reds- thankfully.  And the more important thing is to point out that the teachers have gotten MORE STRICT on behavior since they got back from Christmas Break.  My son told me just yesterday that more people are having to flip their clips than before.  So the teachers are looking for the inappropriate behavior more and thankfully my son's not getting in more trouble. :-) The only thing that has changed is what he eats for breakfast.  Yep, you read that correctly, BREAKFAST.

Initially, he was eating a lot of empty calories from heavy carb breakfasts like poptarts, donuts, and sugary cereal.  I switched it up and now he has a very protein based breakfast (except for the days he goes to his dad's).  I make egg cups (basically small, muffin sized omelets that I cook one day a week and we reheat them the rest of the week each morning) or he has a frozen omelet that we zap in the microwave.  It truly has amazed me how much difference that one thing has made in his day.  

Another suggestion I can make (as a mom and as a 5th grade teacher) is to maybe let up on him some with what you expect each day.  It seems that he and his teacher have a personality conflict and she's looking to fuss at him.  Sometimes those personality issues do crop up and there's not much the child can do.  So, maybe be happy with a blue, green, or yellow day and only get upset with the other outcomes.  That way, some of the stress is off your child and that might help with the behavior at home some.  I'm not saying that it's ok for him to misbehave.  But some teachers have less tolerance than others and she may be one of  "THOSE".  

As a previous poster mentioned, it won't hurt to have him evaluated.  If he gets a diagnosis, you aren't legally required to give him meds.  But it does mean that he can get a plan put in place to help him be more successful in the classroom.  It doesn't sound like the teacher has much desire to try to make things better for your child since she's pushing meds.  I'd also like to point out that legally she cannot recommend meds for your child.  She's not qualified to make a diagnosis and her recommending meds is out of her job responsibilities.  


coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:01 PM
If he's not focusing, you need to get to the root of it. Is he bored? Is he craving attention, even if negative? Have his eyes checked (by an optometrist, not his pedi) as vision issues can mimic ADHD symptoms. Ask the teacher to put a strip of fuzzy sided velcro under his desk. He can rub it when he needs to self soothe or stimulate.

Can he not follow directions? DD sometimes struggles with multi-step directions and needs things broken down into shorter steps.

Is this his first year in an all day classroom setting?
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RhondaVeggie
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:10 PM
We are having the same issue. My son is in second grade and he just has the wrong teacher for him. She wanted him tested for ADHD because he had a hard time concentrating on a boring assignment while the rest of the class was doing a fun and noisy craft project around him; he was off sick the day before and she made him catch up. She also sends home work with notes saying how much help he needed which is crazy because if she sends similar assignments home he can do them without help. She also gives him very low level reading material, he's in second grade and she's giving him stuff like Henry and Mudge when he's reading Percy Jackson at home.

I've tried talking to her several times about it but to no avail. It's very frustrating.
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Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:13 PM



Quoting RhondaVeggie:

We are having the same issue. My son is in second grade and he just has the wrong teacher for him. She wanted him tested for ADHD because he had a hard time concentrating on a boring assignment while the rest of the class was doing a fun and noisy craft project around him; he was off sick the day before and she made him catch up. She also sends home work with notes saying how much help he needed which is crazy because if she sends similar assignments home he can do them without help. She also gives him very low level reading material, he's in second grade and she's giving him stuff like Henry and Mudge when he's reading Percy Jackson at home.

I've tried talking to her several times about it but to no avail. It's very frustrating.

Request a meeting with the principal.  If you have raised concerns and the teacher is ignoring them, then the principal needs to know.  You've got to be very vocal for your child's education.  Otherwise, your child will get frustrated and begin to hate school.  :-(


corrinacs
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:46 PM

I'm glad you did.  My son is going through the same issues, but I think I know the reason.

Boredom.  It sounds like his levels are farther ahead than the teacher is willing to admit.  The grade slipping is a part of that....he's not showign what he can do because frankly....its boring as crap LOL

I'd talk to the teacher about it.  No luck there?  Then go above her to the principal.  Let them know all that's going on.

Good luck!!!

taz1993
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:47 PM
I'm struggling with my kindergartner with the same issues. I have a meeting with her teacher in little bit to see if she has any ideas that I haven't tried
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