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Are teachers allowed to do this.....(edited, I spoke with her RTI and homeroom teacher)

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I have three kids, all 7 in the first grade at our elementary school. They share two teachers. My daughter and my step daughter were both asked a question by one of the teachers. She asked "Did your mommy have a baby and sell it?" Im not sure where it came from.

I am a birthmom, my son was adopted when the twins were just 2 years old, and we didnt live in this area...we lived 3 hours away from here. My kids know about the adoption and talk fondly about it, never use the word "sell". They call him thier brother and have a great relationship with him. 

What makes me angry is that if she heard it from one of mine she wouldnt need to ask them about it.... If she heard it from somewhere else Where?, I have no friends here and the kids prefer to be around thier church friends. I don't know how to handle this. Asking my kids was wrong, IMO. Asking if i SOLD him was worse. 

Am I overreacting??? Should I say something to the teacher??? the principal??? 

I got so many responses thank you ladies. I did confront the teacher. I told her what my girls said and asked her why she brought it up. My daughter in her RTI class brought it up that I had a son and he was adopted, the word "adopted" is what the RTI teacher said she used. So my daughter mentioned adoption and her teacher rephrased it as "sell". She said she didnt see it any other way that adoption was the same as selling and that when she asked my daughter about it my daughter said that no I did not sell my baby. And her teacher then told me that she planned on dropping it. 

I have brought it to the principles attention also. I cant imagine how a first grade teacher can take the liberty to change "adoption" to "sell". This was our final push. We have been considering homeschooling (because of scheduling conflicts) and now I know were going to do it. Some people in this world do not need to be influencing our kids. Sorry for the rant but thanks for reading. 

Mother of twins, stepmom to one, and birthmom to one

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:07 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

I would contact her and tell her what the kids said. I would gauge her reaction before going further (it would have been a misunderstanding, or she could just be tactless)

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:35 PM

There's probably a reasonable explanation. Definitely ask the teacher for clarification. Maybe some other child was teasing your DDs saying yhou sold the baby and so the teacher was trying to make it clear to your child, the class, or whoever that this wasn't the case...? I hope!

by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:49 PM
I too would ask....
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by Mikki on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:52 PM


Quoting wakymom:

 I'd calmly ask the teacher for clarification. "Hey, my child came home saying that you asked this. I figured something was misunderstood, so I decided to ask you about it."





family in the van   Mom of four

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:54 PM

I would ask her what was said and see what her story is you never know till you ask

by Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:41 PM

You need to ask the teacher what was really said.  If she did indeed say something like that I would take it to the principal immediately.  This is not appropriate and it makes me angry.  

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 4:41 PM

OMG....I am so sorry about this :(.  As a former teacher, this makes me cringe.

Firstly, its none of the teacher's business about this situation, espeically if its not effecing thier grades in any way.  If another child came to her and said something like this, t his is something you ask the children in private.  (Or was it asked in private?).  Still, I think she should have used better verbage.  

I know, on the one hand, that teachers are required to report anything they hear like this.  I'm glad she thought to ask your children first to confirm/deny these allegations.  But I think she could have chose better verbage.

Good luck!!

by Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 4:56 PM

You're right to be angry.

I would meet with the teacher and the principal.

by Kandice on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:07 PM

I would talk to the teacher calmly about this matter. Find out what really happen. And IF that is indeed what she asked, then go to the Principal about this. It's not perfessional to ask children things of this nature. If she really wanted to know, then she should have called you about it, not question the children.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this

OMG, as a teacher I can not tell you how many crazy things kids tell us!  I teach kindergarten to non-english speaking kids, and as sson as they can string words together, they start sharing stories.  I hear about many, many, many things I prefer to not hear, including parents getting arrested, abuse, and one boy told me he had 3 grandmothers die in 2 months....some things we let go, some we question, some we investigate in the interest of safety. Any story involving a child that is "missing" I sure would be asking about!!!   Unfortunately where I work, abuse, neglect and gang related violence isn't exactly a rarity, it is a reality.

Just ASK the teacher, I have no doubt she is eager to find out the truth of the matter.  It sounds to me like she CARES about the welfare of her students, and their families.

Be grateful the teacher cares enough to ask the tough questions, some teachers have a "No sharing, no outside news" rule because of all the tragic, and legally reportable things children share.

I would ask, but I'd also send you a note home the same day and get a translator in for more clarification if I wasn't getting a clear story.  Just make a call and find out, but to me, as a teacher, this teacher was doing her job--and doing it well.

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