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Are teachers allowed to do this.....(edited, I spoke with her RTI and homeroom teacher)

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I have three kids, all 7 in the first grade at our elementary school. They share two teachers. My daughter and my step daughter were both asked a question by one of the teachers. She asked "Did your mommy have a baby and sell it?" Im not sure where it came from.

I am a birthmom, my son was adopted when the twins were just 2 years old, and we didnt live in this area...we lived 3 hours away from here. My kids know about the adoption and talk fondly about it, never use the word "sell". They call him thier brother and have a great relationship with him. 

What makes me angry is that if she heard it from one of mine she wouldnt need to ask them about it.... If she heard it from somewhere else Where?, I have no friends here and the kids prefer to be around thier church friends. I don't know how to handle this. Asking my kids was wrong, IMO. Asking if i SOLD him was worse. 

Am I overreacting??? Should I say something to the teacher??? the principal??? 

I got so many responses thank you ladies. I did confront the teacher. I told her what my girls said and asked her why she brought it up. My daughter in her RTI class brought it up that I had a son and he was adopted, the word "adopted" is what the RTI teacher said she used. So my daughter mentioned adoption and her teacher rephrased it as "sell". She said she didnt see it any other way that adoption was the same as selling and that when she asked my daughter about it my daughter said that no I did not sell my baby. And her teacher then told me that she planned on dropping it. 

I have brought it to the principles attention also. I cant imagine how a first grade teacher can take the liberty to change "adoption" to "sell". This was our final push. We have been considering homeschooling (because of scheduling conflicts) and now I know were going to do it. Some people in this world do not need to be influencing our kids. Sorry for the rant but thanks for reading. 

Mother of twins, stepmom to one, and birthmom to one

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:07 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:38 PM

Some things get so twisted around by kids (not on purpose) by the time they get home. I ask my students all kinds of questions about their lives, not being nosey to get the "dirt" I just like to know what home is like-it gives a great insight to who they are. I like hearing about what they do as a family, hobbies, how they get along with siblings, etc. 

On the other hand, some teachers really do say and ask things they shouldn't. I hope this isn't the case with your children and that there was just a misundertanding. 

by Max on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:59 PM

It would be very inappropriate for a teacher to ask that. But it's so common for kids to misunderstand things. 

I agree talking to her in person is the best way to handle it. 

by Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:43 PM

Definitely speak to the teacher. That is completely inappropriate.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:20 PM


Quoting steelcrazy:

I agree.  You need to calmly talk to the teacher to find out what really happened.

 I agree

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 6:10 AM
I agree

Quoting iuangina:

You need to ask the teacher what was really said.  If she did indeed say something like that I would take it to the principal immediately.  This is not appropriate and it makes me angry.  

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by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 6:12 AM
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 8:27 AM

I would schedule a conference with the teacher, confront her with what your children said, allow her to give her side of the story, and take if from there. If you do not like the outcome of the meeting, I would then take it to the principal.

by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I would talk to the teacher first off and see what she really said.  One of the 7 year olds may have misunderstood.

My 4 and 5 year olds are all adopted.  Last week, one of the 5 year olds came home demanding to know who her foster parents were (ummm, me).  Still trying to figure out where THAT came from...

by Kristi on Feb. 22, 2013 at 8:59 AM

I would do this.

If she did ask it, she may have been asking the entire class and brought it up because as further discussion on something done in class.  It may not have been directed at your girls, but because of yours/theirs experience may think it was.

Quoting wakymom:

 I'd calmly ask the teacher for clarification. "Hey, my child came home saying that you asked this. I figured something was misunderstood, so I decided to ask you about it."





by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 11:29 AM

Teachers are mandated reporters in my state, so if I had to guess I would think that maybe she heard someone say something about you selling a baby and was trying to figure out whether it was something she should report or if she heard wrong.  Although according to the laws in my state she is supposed to just report it and not try to investigate it herself.  I agree that what she did was wrong, but it's a complicated situation.

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