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critical stages and can damage be reversed?

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I'm not sure if this is even the right forum to ask this question in it really isnt a school type question but it involves a school age child. A good friend of mine is looking into fostering a child and possibly adopting. I have taken some child development classes and I know there are critical periods where certain needs should be met and if not they can have lasting effects on the child. She has met the child she will be fostering and read a little about his background he was being raised by a single mom who was a drug addict so she neglected him, never gave him attention, and belittled him, called him names and told him she wished he had never been born stuff like that so of course his self esteem is shattered he feels worthless and unwanted. He says he hates his life and calls himself names now like says he is fat because that is what his bio mom used to tell him (this makes me want to cry just typing it poor little guy) anyway he is 7 and in the 1st grade he was held back last year and of course bio mom told him he was stupid so heartbreaking any advice on things my friend can do to help this child recover from the emotional abuse he has suffered and probably physical abuse as well but my friend said she wasn't sure if the bio mom was physically abusive

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 3:17 AM
Replies (11-13):
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Thank you all for your responses
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by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 3:54 PM
I would be careful posting things as a child's case history is confidential and probably should not be discussed even with you. A child can overcome tremendous obstacles by Being loved, but it will not be easy And not all wounds can be healed... And 7 years is a long time. :(
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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, I don't know if all of the effects can be reversed, but he still has time to build his confidence.  I'm glad that he's being placed in a foster-to-adopt home.  I kind of went through the same thing and was adopted by a wonderful family!  I was able to overcome just fine, but it did take time, effort and a lot of love and trust (on both sides).

I really commend her for doing this!!  Its an uphill battle.  

A good place for this quesiton would be the Foster/Adoptive moms group here on cafemoml.

good luck!

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