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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Harsh or fair punishment? ETA

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I wrote a previous post about my daughter passing a note from one friend to another student. The note was not read, written or opened by my daughter, she was the gofer.





Anyways, her teacher sent a referral tithe office about the note. My daughter name was in the referral as the 'middle man' deliverer. The Assistant Principal gave the writer AND my daughter ISS and lunch detention.


After I spoke to her teacher, who agreed my daughter is 99.9% a great kid and student, said if she knew the punishment she would have not sent the referral for my daughter she suggested I contact the Assistant Principal for a conference to see if we can discuss the punishment.





So my question...would you fight it or let it be. Also, there is no set rule regarding passing notes, the reason it was such a big deal was because a 8 year girl was propositioning a boy for sex. In 2nd grade!!!!





Fair or harsh for my daughter?



ETA- I spoke with the AP, nearl a week after the event, she informed me my daughter ONLY had lunch detention and never had ISS. The other child was punishe with ISS. I can deal with a lunch detention!

Also, she has learned. A note was passed to her the other day and she gave it to the teacher.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Replies (31-40):
DrDoofenshmirtz
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 8:54 PM

Pretty steep punishment.  If she had written the note, yes, completely fair, given teh content.  I don't know that I would fight the punishment, but I might set up a meeting to make sure the principal knows that your DD did not know what was in the note.  And see where it goes from there. 

As for what the girl wrote.  Little kids are exposed to a huge amount of media these days and can easily pick something like that up from shows.  Heck, Bunheads this week was all about the girls having sex.  So, while it is alarming, it doesn't necessarily mean abuse.  Songs, TV shows on networks like ABC Family and such all have a big focus on sex.

 

Jamie1972
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:01 PM
I think the iss was a bit too much. Sure lunch detention she still gets punished,learns a lesson. I woukd talk to he asst principal and see if he would cancel the iss and maybe give her 2 detentions
Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:45 PM


Quoting DrDoofenshmirtz:

As for what the girl wrote.  Little kids are exposed to a huge amount of media these days and can easily pick something like that up from shows.  Heck, Bunheads this week was all about the girls having sex.  So, while it is alarming, it doesn't necessarily mean abuse.  Songs, TV shows on networks like ABC Family and such all have a big focus on sex.


It can be other sources then media, like older siblings. My son heard a couple inappropriate sexual jokes in 2nd grade, which he didn't fully understand, but I heard him repeating it to a friend. Turns out, a classmates heard the jokes from an older teenage sibling. I immediately talked to the teacher about it and the friend's mom that my son repeated the jokes to, and the issue was quickly resolved.

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:37 PM

My DD is in 2nd grade too. I wouldn't fight it. Passing notes is disruptive (the writer disrupted DD, she disrupted the boy and I'm guessing the boy disrupted the teacher and class when he got/read the note) and this is a good way to learn that lesson. 

I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like she won't get into college because she passed a note in 2nd grade. 

As for the content of the note...wow! That's scary!

(This ^) And below.

I know this wasn't a huge crime, and guilt by just knowing someone should actually happen, but it does. There are charges for committing crimes that are accessory to the fact. Depending on the crime the accessory gets as much time as the one who actually committed said crime. I'd let it go now, so that she learns that she shouldn't allow her 'friends' to talk her into doing something that she shouldn't be doing.

Quoting snowangel1979:

Unfortunately sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Guilt by association and don't let your friends talk you into something.

I wouldn't fight it. While there may not be a rule that exactly said no note passing, there's probably a rule about disrupting class, Ect that passing a note would fall under.

I agree the content of the note is scary.



wedding countdown

florentina77
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:35 PM

If it was my child I would fight it all the way until she was cleared of the matter . First of all the subject of the note is not something that I would want my child to be associated with in any way. Secondly I would want my daughter to know that you should not just take things laying down . You have to fight for was is right and fair . Third since you mentioned there is no rule regarding passing notes there really should be no action taken regarding your daugther's involvement . The only reason there was action taken was because of the subject matter in the note . But your daugther did not know the subject matter in the note so there for she is not to be the one to be punished. That is what I think . Hope it helps .Good luck.

sammyreymom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 4:32 PM

I wouldn't fight it.  My dd is in 2nd grade and she has had at least two situations of this which resulted in recess detention.  It taught her that she needs to not follow or help.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:33 PM

I would let it be. It's not a huge punishment and she was passing the note. 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:35 PM


Quoting florentina77:

If it was my child I would fight it all the way until she was cleared of the matter . First of all the subject of the note is not something that I would want my child to be associated with in any way. Secondly I would want my daughter to know that you should not just take things laying down . You have to fight for was is right and fair . Third since you mentioned there is no rule regarding passing notes there really should be no action taken regarding your daugther's involvement . The only reason there was action taken was because of the subject matter in the note . But your daugther did not know the subject matter in the note so there for she is not to be the one to be punished. That is what I think . Hope it helps .Good luck.

If your daughter doesn't want to be associated with a note she really shouldn't pass it to a classmate. The child in question participated in the note passing. She wasn't totally innocent. 

What do you mean there isn't a rule against note passing? Isn't that obviously something kids shouldn't be doing? Do teachers really have to list every single thing kids shouldn't do to make it a rule?

florentina77
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:22 PM

No not everything has to be listed so that children know what to do or not do that is the parents job to teach our children that. What I was ferrering to was if such a harsh punishment is going to be given then it should be listed .The small part she had to play in the matter doesn't equal the punishment . That is the only point I am making.  

florentina77
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:24 PM

punishment should always fit the crime . Nothing more nothing less.

 

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