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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Harsh or fair punishment? ETA

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I wrote a previous post about my daughter passing a note from one friend to another student. The note was not read, written or opened by my daughter, she was the gofer.





Anyways, her teacher sent a referral tithe office about the note. My daughter name was in the referral as the 'middle man' deliverer. The Assistant Principal gave the writer AND my daughter ISS and lunch detention.


After I spoke to her teacher, who agreed my daughter is 99.9% a great kid and student, said if she knew the punishment she would have not sent the referral for my daughter she suggested I contact the Assistant Principal for a conference to see if we can discuss the punishment.





So my question...would you fight it or let it be. Also, there is no set rule regarding passing notes, the reason it was such a big deal was because a 8 year girl was propositioning a boy for sex. In 2nd grade!!!!





Fair or harsh for my daughter?



ETA- I spoke with the AP, nearl a week after the event, she informed me my daughter ONLY had lunch detention and never had ISS. The other child was punishe with ISS. I can deal with a lunch detention!

Also, she has learned. A note was passed to her the other day and she gave it to the teacher.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Replies (11-20):
ambermario4ever
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Harsh 

MsLogansMommy
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I pretty much agree with everyone else on this I definitely think it is an unfair punishment and not one I would have given the student but its a great teaching moment. Also like someone else said this wont effect her getting in college this isnt something that will haunt her through her academic career. there are many other things worth fighting for I would let this one go.

dtristan78
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:00 PM

I think it's very disturbing, especially in the second grade.  I would like more clarification regarding the punishment.  The AP originally told me on Monday, my DD received Lunch detention.  My DD was the one that told me about ISS.


Quoting coolmommy2x:

My DD is in 2nd grade too. I wouldn't fight it. Passing notes is disruptive (the writer disrupted DD, she disrupted the boy and I'm guessing the boy disrupted the teacher and class when he got/read the note) and this is a good way to learn that lesson.

I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like she won't get into college because she passed a note in 2nd grade.

As for the content of the note...wow! That's scary!



dtristan78
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:03 PM


I don't know how conduct referrals work.  I never received any as a child.  I thought they said on their permanent school record?  IDK

Due to the punishment, my DD has learned her lesson...I hope!!  I've tried explaining to her about making wise decisions regarding her behavior and how she chooses her friends.  She learning the lesson the hard way!

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I pretty much agree with everyone else on this I definitely think it is an unfair punishment and not one I would have given the student but its a great teaching moment. Also like someone else said this wont effect her getting in college this isnt something that will haunt her through her academic career. there are many other things worth fighting for I would let this one go.



dtristan78
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:04 PM

She's learning the hard way.  She is such a sweet child and full of innocence.  She lacks a good judge of character and decision making skills!!! 


Quoting snowangel1979:

Unfortunately sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Guilt by association and don't let your friends talk you into something.

I wouldn't fight it. While there may not be a rule that exactly said no note passing, there's probably a rule about disrupting class, Ect that passing a note would fall under.

I agree the content of the note is scary.



MsLogansMommy
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

 

That is a very good point I know when I was in school it didnt go on our permanent record but that was a long time ago and we lived in a very small community. I'm sure one of the teachers on here could speak to that whether it would go on her permanent record. However, if it does then my answer would be different. Maybe you should talk to the principal or assistant principal and tell them that you are ok with her receiving the ISS however you want to be assured it won't go on her permanent record. That is worth putting up a fight imo

Quoting dtristan78:

 

I don't know how conduct referrals work.  I never received any as a child.  I thought they said on their permanent school record?  IDK

Due to the punishment, my DD has learned her lesson...I hope!!  I've tried explaining to her about making wise decisions regarding her behavior and how she chooses her friends.  She learning the lesson the hard way!

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I pretty much agree with everyone else on this I definitely think it is an unfair punishment and not one I would have given the student but its a great teaching moment. Also like someone else said this wont effect her getting in college this isnt something that will haunt her through her academic career. there are many other things worth fighting for I would let this one go.

 

 

 

 

natesmom1228
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:40 PM

I would let it go. She could have said no, but she chose to pass it.

corrinacs
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:44 PM

Harsh for your daughter if she didn't know what the note was about.  Since there isn't a clear rule about passing notes in class, they really can't pin that on her.

Beyond that, if she didn't know what was in the note, there's no way she could be guilty of this crime.  Just being the "middle man" does not make her guilty!

I'd speak to the Principal or Assistance Principal.  Just make sure you talk to your duaghter about whether or not she knew what the letter was about at the time......and now......hopefully you won't have to be getting into any pre-aged sex talk netiher of you are prepared for!

Good luck!

berlgirl1224
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:46 PM



Quoting Emeraldmama7:

I wouldn't fight it but I would bring it up to the assistant principal.  I think that sort of punishment is a little much.  If she were constantly passing notes herself and also getting in trouble just in class, then I could understand.  If the teacher backs you up on this, I would mention that too. 


If the AP doesn't budge with the punishment, then I would let it go.  But my kids have never gotten anything more than a verbal warning in class (and that's even far and few between) so they would have devestated my kids to have such a harsh punishment. 


Good luck.  (and now i'm off to read your first post about the note....=p)


 


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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Quoting coolmommy2x:

My DD is in 2nd grade too. I wouldn't fight it. Passing notes is disruptive (the writer disrupted DD, she disrupted the boy and I'm guessing the boy disrupted the teacher and class when he got/read the note) and this is a good way to learn that lesson.

I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like she won't get into college because she passed a note in 2nd grade.

As for the content of the note...wow! That's scary!


Agree with everything said!
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