Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Harsh or fair punishment? ETA

Posted by   + Show Post
I wrote a previous post about my daughter passing a note from one friend to another student. The note was not read, written or opened by my daughter, she was the gofer.





Anyways, her teacher sent a referral tithe office about the note. My daughter name was in the referral as the 'middle man' deliverer. The Assistant Principal gave the writer AND my daughter ISS and lunch detention.


After I spoke to her teacher, who agreed my daughter is 99.9% a great kid and student, said if she knew the punishment she would have not sent the referral for my daughter she suggested I contact the Assistant Principal for a conference to see if we can discuss the punishment.





So my question...would you fight it or let it be. Also, there is no set rule regarding passing notes, the reason it was such a big deal was because a 8 year girl was propositioning a boy for sex. In 2nd grade!!!!





Fair or harsh for my daughter?



ETA- I spoke with the AP, nearl a week after the event, she informed me my daughter ONLY had lunch detention and never had ISS. The other child was punishe with ISS. I can deal with a lunch detention!

Also, she has learned. A note was passed to her the other day and she gave it to the teacher.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:26 AM
Replies (21-30):
BKozICan
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Whoa. I would be all over that. ISS for a note she had no idea about the contents? Lunch detention, once, maybe for not saying no to passing it.

zoniechick
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:45 PM

 That is just sad...

Quoting MJP76:

 

From my expirence most kids that young that know that much about sex is because they are being sexually abused... :(

Quoting zoniechick:

 If you daughter is normally a 'good' student, I do believe the punishment does not fit the crime. However, I would not fight it. She was caught doing something considered a no-no. With such a harsh punishment, she will most likely not be passing notes to her classmates.

As for the content, omg! My son is also in second grade and he has no clue what 'sex' is. That is so scrary and to young imo to know about such matters. He knows basic things such as boys and girls are different and his private parts are private, but does not know what the act of sex is.

surprised

 

 

 

 

CafeMom TickersCafeMom TickersSweet Berries Child Birthday Ticker

MJP76
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 5:46 PM


Yeah, I know.

Quoting zoniechick:

 That is just sad...

Quoting MJP76:


From my expirence most kids that young that know that much about sex is because they are being sexually abused... :(

Quoting zoniechick:

 If you daughter is normally a 'good' student, I do believe the punishment does not fit the crime. However, I would not fight it. She was caught doing something considered a no-no. With such a harsh punishment, she will most likely not be passing notes to her classmates.

As for the content, omg! My son is also in second grade and he has no clue what 'sex' is. That is so scrary and to young imo to know about such matters. He knows basic things such as boys and girls are different and his private parts are private, but does not know what the act of sex is.

surprised

 



 



Castrolover
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:39 PM

respect the teachers and let them disapline the way they want as long as it not harmful.  The problem these days is kids are constantly being coddled and supported by their parents and do not learn respect.  Let her learn this little lesson. You dont want to put something into her head that you are always there to bail her out of trouble at school.

dtristan78
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this
She has nonisea I've contacted the AP. her teacher was the one who suggested I make the call. I'm not a mom that believes wholeheartedly my kids are perfect. I back teachers and administration 9 out if 10 times.


Quoting Castrolover:

respect the teachers and let them disapline the way they want as long as it not harmful.  The problem these days is kids are constantly being coddled and supported by their parents and do not learn respect.  Let her learn this little lesson. You dont want to put something into her head that you are always there to bail her out of trouble at school.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
GwenMB
by Gwen on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:55 PM

I think talking to the AP is a good idea.  It seems a bit harsh to give her the same punishment as the note writer.

If you haven't, I'd talk to her about what she could have said or done instead of passing the note.  That's the part I struggle with a bit, I'm not sure what I'd expect of her in that situation.  I suppose just saying "no" or not taking it.  Would you (the general you) have wanted her to bring the note to the teacher herself?

I disagree with those saying that she can't be pinned for passing the note because there isn't a rule against that specifically.  They can't have rules about everything that could happen.  But a rule about general disturbance of the class covers passing notes IMO.

LucyHarper
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 6:58 PM

I think she should have a lesser punishment then the writer since she didn't know the content of the note, but should still be punished for passing the note regardless. Also, I would want to make sure that they are doing more then just punishing the kid, they need to find out why an 8 year old was asking for sex and make sure nothing bad is going on with that child. 

SeanandNoahsmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:15 PM

 I agree; more should be done to look into that child that sent the note.

Quoting LucyHarper:

I think she should have a lesser punishment then the writer since she didn't know the content of the note, but should still be punished for passing the note regardless. Also, I would want to make sure that they are doing more then just punishing the kid, they need to find out why an 8 year old was asking for sex and make sure nothing bad is going on with that child. 

 

Dawn
RMC007
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I think the punishment is harsh and I would fight it. I am not saying your dd shouldn't be punished, but I don't believe she deserves anywhere near the same punishment as the writer of the note. I would think one day of silent lunch or a few minutes off of recess would be sufficient. Even though she was the middle man, she has to be able to say, "No, I will not pass a note for you."

I have to ask, did she get out of her seat to pass the note? Did she pass it during a time the kids were instructed to do something else? I would want to know when and where she passed the note.

dtristan78
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:52 PM
From what she and her teacher say, the class was getting up for a recess break. It wasn't in class instruction time but in the classroom. The only reason the teacher turned the note in was because if its content.


Quoting RMC007:

I think the punishment is harsh and I would fight it. I am not saying your dd shouldn't be punished, but I don't believe she deserves anywhere near the same punishment as the writer of the note. I would think one day of silent lunch or a few minutes off of recess would be sufficient. Even though she was the middle man, she has to be able to say, "No, I will not pass a note for you."


I have to ask, did she get out of her seat to pass the note? Did she pass it during a time the kids were instructed to do something else? I would want to know when and where she passed the note.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)