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Update 3 on Bus Incident...

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:04 AM
  • 44 Replies

Sorry about the extreme delay in update I haven't even had time to think about Cafemom lately lol. I spoke with the vice principal again aftter the last meeting my daughter had with her and the other student and I have to admit I have egg on my face. After speaking with my daughter and the VP I have learned that my child is not so innocent in this matter. DD apparently was playing with the seat belt and it hit the other girl. Who got upset and like all kids do, hit her back with it. I'm sure there is more to it, but I wont press it, only because, the same day they had mediation, an older kid went to the office to make a complaint on my DD for poking her repeatedlt....*facepalm*...... Apparentyl DD wanted to talk to her, but he way of getting her attention is to poke the hell out of her repeatedly...So yeah , lol Needless to say, I had a very very verrrryyyyyy long discussion with DD on lying. crying wolf, and keeping her damn hands to herself lol


So, I called the school this morning and reported what happened, and I spoke with the vice principal. She said she was appaulled that this happened and she's going to get to the bottom of it immediately. She said she was going to request the tapes today and do an investigation. The tapes can take up to 5 days to come in, but she was going to get to the bottom of it today. Well...my daughter comes home and tells me she went to the office with the little girl and they were questioned on what happened. The girl continues to claim it was an accident and my daughter tells me the office "got mad" at her, saying she was LYING. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!!!!! You mean to tell me, that before seeing the tape, you are automatically going to write my Kindergartner off as a liar?! She's never been in trouble, why the hell do they assume she would lie about being hit and practically sexually assaulted. Strong words, I know, but had a boy lifted a younger girls skirt up, you better believe that kid would have been suspended immediately without question. But because it was a girl who did it, it doesn't matter? Why the hell would she lie about that? I'm calling the school tomorrow morning and shoving my foot up their asses until this is resolved. I want her suspended off the bus and suspended from school. We teach our children that it is NEVER okay for ANYONE to put their hands on them, and then they just write it off like who cares?!!!!   What kind of message is that sending?! Omg I'm so mad right now. You have no idea....   


My daughter just transferred to a new school, and she has to take the bus to get there. This is her first time riding a school bus, and she loves it. HOWEVER yesterday she got off the bus looking upset. I asked whats wrong and she told me the little girl that sits next to her smacked her in the face!!! She didn't tell the bus driver. Immedeiately I stopped the driver and informed her what she had told me and she asked the girl why she did it, well a little boy pipes up and says it was an accident that she was swining her arms and she hit her. Okay, whatever, I know my daughter can be a bit of a drama queen, so I let it go as a silly accident. We walk away and my daughter tells me that the boy who spoke up, actually told my daughter and the other girl to FIGHT! And THATS when the other girl smacked my child. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!! The boy who started it is at my daughters bus stop, and they kids there are very rowdy constatly hitting eacother and pushing eachother into the road it's crazy. And THEN I find out about an hour later that that little girl that hit her, PULLED UP HER SKIRT!!!! My daughter thinks she is in 1st grade, and the other boy I believe looks like a 2nd or 3rd grader. Im going to speak with the principal tomorrow and maybe see if we can pull the tape to find out what happened, because I'm so pissed right now. I had to sit my daughter down and have a long talk about how it is NEVER okay for ANYONE to put their hands on her or touch her clothes. I want to ask the boy to get his mother so I can talk to her Monday morning but I feel like to avoid any wrong confrontation, I should just go to the principal. What would you ladies do? I'm just very upset that this happened. My daughter is tough, but when there's a lot of people she gets shy, and I want her to be able to defend herself but I don't want her to get in trouble for fighting in KINDERGARTEN, it's just ridiculous! :-/

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:15 AM
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I understand not wanting to get into a confrontation, but whether you go to the principal or the parents, either way the parents will be involved and they will know it was you who went to the principal. Not saying you shouldn't, just saying confrontation can't be avoided. Hopefully either way you go, they will be open minded that their son isn't perfect and it doesn't happen again.

If it were me, I would nicely ask the boy which house is his and then go see mom and explain what happened. If you're calm, chances are she will be too. I would explain what DD said and that you're just trying to figure out exactly how what happened so it doesn't happen again.
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ASLmommy89
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:33 AM

I don't have a problem with the parents finding out, Im just afraid if I go to her house to speak with her and she acts like her son is a saint, I might get a little upset. I'd rather have the principal call us in and talk about it if that's what needs to be done. I'm going to notify the school that the children are being way to dangerous and rowdy at the stop as well. Pushing eachother into the street is not okay. I get mini heart attacks every time I see it. I dont even let my daughter be around them, she stands by me while we wait for the bus. I just want them to pull the tape so there's no he said she said going on and I can get to the bottom of it. 


Quoting coolmommy2x:

I understand not wanting to get into a confrontation, but whether you go to the principal or the parents, either way the parents will be involved and they will know it was you who went to the principal. Not saying you shouldn't, just saying confrontation can't be avoided. Hopefully either way you go, they will be open minded that their son isn't perfect and it doesn't happen again.

If it were me, I would nicely ask the boy which house is his and then go see mom and explain what happened. If you're calm, chances are she will be too. I would explain what DD said and that you're just trying to figure out exactly how what happened so it doesn't happen again.



Tryshx
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:43 AM

I would start by speaking to the bus driver and explaining the situation.  I talk to DSS's bus driver every day to keep informed about what happens on the bus (recently he's been complaining about some of the older kids bullying him, so I speak to the bus driver daily for updates)

piwife
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:46 AM
My k dd got punched on the bus my 4th grader. I call the school righ away and he has been dealt with
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ASLmommy89
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 8:47 AM


Unfortunately it was a substitute bus driver, I spoke to her but there was not much she could do when so many kids were saying it was an accident, without pulling the tape. I wish her normal driver had been there because she's very attentive and doesn't put up with games like that. 

Quoting Tryshx:

I would start by speaking to the bus driver and explaining the situation.  I talk to DSS's bus driver every day to keep informed about what happens on the bus (recently he's been complaining about some of the older kids bullying him, so I speak to the bus driver daily for updates)



Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:50 AM

I would wait until Monday and talk to the school Principal. From my experience, that is the easiest and most effective way to resolve issues at my son's elementary school. 

Rbrown72707
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 7:10 PM

I'm a teacher.  I would actually go straight to the principal with this one.  Our kids are always taught that their behavior on the bus has the same consequences as their behavior in school.  The principal SHOULD talk to those kids about inappropriate behavior.  Also, does the bus have any bus monitors?  Tell DD if ANYTHING happens, to tell the bus monitors or the bus driver.  They are there to keep her safe.  Hope everything works out!

ASLmommy89
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:19 AM


Thank you. I just got off the phone with the assistant principal and she was appauled to hear what happened. She's requesting the tapes from transportation right now, and doing her own investigating to see if she can find out the names of the students involved so she can handle the situation today. I don't know if I'm more upset that she was hit, or that the girl pulled up her skirt. I just don't understand what could go through a childs mind to make them even think about pulling up someones skirt. It's disgusting and I hope these kids learn their lesson after all this. I told my daughter this morning before she got on the bus, that if ANYONE messes with her again, to tell the driver immediately, and if nothing is done, and they continue to put their hands on her, to hit back. I will not allow my baby to be a victim of bullying. Not if I can help it. 

Quoting Rbrown72707:

I'm a teacher.  I would actually go straight to the principal with this one.  Our kids are always taught that their behavior on the bus has the same consequences as their behavior in school.  The principal SHOULD talk to those kids about inappropriate behavior.  Also, does the bus have any bus monitors?  Tell DD if ANYTHING happens, to tell the bus monitors or the bus driver.  They are there to keep her safe.  Hope everything works out!



jewel80
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 2:51 PM
I would ask o have a meeting with the principal and the other kids parents just to make sure something is said to them! Those kids need to be disaplined by the school for that! I would want to talk to the parents directly but only at school so you have witnesses that you didnt say anything wrong to them. The school may act appauled but they doesnt mean they will do something. She put her hands on your child there are clearcut punishments for that and they need to be followed, its supposed to be zero tolerance for bullying and voilence! My daughter was punched in the stomach at school and they didnt call me, didnt document it then said it was aan accident they boy was swinging his arms in line at lunch, i said no this is what happened..... they looked into it and then it changed to oh she was hit by a ball outside, i said no thats not what happened, then it turned into no she had a stomach ache thats why she went to the nurse! So i went to the principal and told her this is what my daughter said happened she doesnt lie shes a straight a strudent never been in trouble, your staff has told me 3 different stories as to what happened and wont give me the documentation from the nurse visit! Oof course the principal backed her staff who were lying bc they didnt follow policy and call me or write an incident report so instead of fessing up to their mistake they tried to make my kid a lier! They even said to her why are you lying no one hit you, I FLIPPED and withdrew her and homeschooled until we moved!!!! Sorry for the rant but that was my experiance with my kid being bullyied and punched at school! Hopefully your school will do the right thing! Good luck!!
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MotherofMiles
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 3:25 PM
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I wouldn't let her ride the bus
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