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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

"You're Mean"

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  • 9 Replies

What the heck is up with that?

Anytime we raprimand Caden for anything, he bounces back with "NYO" (means "no) or "Youre Mean" or "No I didn't" (especially when he obviously did) some other backtalking crap.

And it could be over something really stupid like "Clean up those blocks, please." or "

He has choices, so I know its not that he doesn't feel in control of his life.  He chooses his own clothes.  He chooses what he wants to eat from the grocery store, helps me fix it and eat it (he has so many food allergies which are different from mine so we feed him his own food.....avoiding all of our allergies together woudln't be healthy).

So, how do you stop it?  I can't ignore it because its his way of getting out of doing something I NEED him to do.  


by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Replies (1-9):
frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this

How old is he?   I would simply say you need to pick up the blocks or you lose them and a privelege for 2 days.  Reprimanding will cause the child to lash back trying to get you to back down as you have seen.  Usually when a child or person realizes you are not backing down, the mean words also stop.    When dd says she did not do something like dump toys on floor,  I tell her she still needs to pick them up regardless who put them on the floor.

corrinacs
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:28 PM

Thanks.  I like the idea of losing the toy and a privelege.  Sometimes the toys aren't his, but he knows its his responsibility to help out around the house regardless of whose mess it is.

So, you are saying I totally ignore the backtalking and repeat the command with consequences?  That makes sense.  We will see how that goes  :).


Quoting frndlyfn:

How old is he?   I would simply say you need to pick up the blocks or you lose them and a privelege for 2 days.  Reprimanding will cause the child to lash back trying to get you to back down as you have seen.  Usually when a child or person realizes you are not backing down, the mean words also stop.    When dd says she did not do something like dump toys on floor,  I tell her she still needs to pick them up regardless who put them on the floor.




frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Yes I would try ignoring the backtalking as it seems to be used as a distraction tool for the child.  When dd messes around with other childrens' toys, she loses the privilege of playing with them if she does not help clean up.   She is 7 so she knows what has to be done.  There are times we need to be more commanders in what needs to be done.


Quoting corrinacs:

Thanks.  I like the idea of losing the toy and a privelege.  Sometimes the toys aren't his, but he knows its his responsibility to help out around the house regardless of whose mess it is.

So, you are saying I totally ignore the backtalking and repeat the command with consequences?  That makes sense.  We will see how that goes  :).


Quoting frndlyfn:

How old is he?   I would simply say you need to pick up the blocks or you lose them and a privelege for 2 days.  Reprimanding will cause the child to lash back trying to get you to back down as you have seen.  Usually when a child or person realizes you are not backing down, the mean words also stop.    When dd says she did not do something like dump toys on floor,  I tell her she still needs to pick them up regardless who put them on the floor.





steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I always say, I know I am now please do XXXXXX like I asked before there is a consequence.

jamianne
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:48 PM

I always say "Yeah, what's your point?" and then repeat my request.  I think with my kids at least, the acknowledgement that they feel I'm unfair is what they're looking for - if that makes sense.


Quoting steelcrazy:

I always say, I know I am now please do XXXXXX like I asked before there is a consequence.



occumommy
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:49 PM
My ds1`s favorite is "I dont like you" so i generally tell him it`s not my job to make you like me, now please do as i asked or lose XXXX
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corrinacs
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 2:12 PM

Gosh, you guys are harsh hahaha!  Thanks.  I've been playing the "harsh mommy" and so far it hasn't worked.  He's super senstive though :(.

Thanks for the suggestions ;)

occumommy
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Lol yeah i can be harsh, but when the kids do as they are supposed to i shower them with praise, so it balances.
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coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Me too.

Quoting steelcrazy:

I always say, I know I am now please do XXXXXX like I asked before there is a consequence.

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