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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Her Teacher is Frustrating Me So Much!!!!!!! (kinda long, sorry)

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • 9 Replies

So heres the deal, we have had nothing but problems with this teacher.  My dd is 6 years old, was diagnosed with ADD last year and was put on meds.  She was having sever anxiety attacks and melt downs while on the medication as well as became so constipated on the medication that she was peeing her pants several times a day.  So we pulled her off.  We met with the doctor and the doctor basically told us that medication isn't the correct route for her seeing as the effects she had.  She also said it could be that she isn't ADD enough for the medication to work properly and its acting as the medication really is (speed).  She has done pretty well, only going down to yellow or orange every once in awhile, but going into some of the higher colors other days (typical 6 year old right?)

If your confused about the color system, here it is, they start on green everyday, as they have good behavior they are moved up to blue, purple, then pink, if they act up, they are moved down to yellow, orange then red.  

Monday (this week) she was in the red (a note comes home when they get to red).  She had left her notebook at school on accident so I found out over the phone that she was in the red.  I got the note the next day (which she was also red on) and it said she was innatentive.  I didn't quite understand what that meant so i called the teacher.  She told me she didn't look at her the entire time she was teaching (which according to the teacher is 20 - 40 minutes each time she teaches).  Then she told me she has to ignore most of her behavior.  I told her that thats expecting a little much, especially since that particular day it rained all day and the kids had to stay inside for all recesses and she can't expect my dd to fix her behavior if she's ignoring it and not telling her what she is doing wrong.  Then she got into orange on wednesday, and I called the teacher again to ask her if there was anything we could be doing at home.  She basically said the only thing we can do is take her to the doctor and put her on medication (not happening).  I asked her if there was anything else we can do besides medication and the teacher just said "nope, only medication". What!!!! Then she was in the orange yesterday. I called the teacher again and left her a message (i have been very nice this entire time btw) asking her if we could have a conferense with her and perhaps the counselor as well and see if theres something we can do, i also sent her a note in my dd's binder and sent her an email, and she hasn't responded at all.  I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do.  (oh and apparently she was in the orange yesterday because she talked in the hall according to the teacher)  

My dd never knows what she did to get moved down, she just says shes orange because the teacher says she is.  So here she's been getting punished for being in a lower color and she has no freakin clue what she did.

We don't any problems with her at home (no distraction) she is the most attentive kid in her girlscout troop meetings and her specials teachers and duty teachers say they have had no problems with her.  I'm not medicating my child when 1) the doctor says its not a good idea and 2) the teacher is the only one with the problem.

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by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-9):
HyperMom38
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:39 PM

And that is the reason I do not tell the school about my DD's ADD/ ADHD diagnosis- because once they are "labeled" that's the way some teachers will act.  I'm not saying all teachers are like that- but there are definitely enough to make me careful about what I let them know.  It is not the teacher's place to say she needs medication.  I would call the principal and ask for a meeting between you, the teacher and the principal and whoever all else is involved.  I would demand to have my DD switched to another classroom.  I cannot imagine what it is like to be your daughter and go to school every day and know that no matter how good she does the teacher is going to make sure she is orange or red.  In my DDs school they do a similar system with monkeys and fruit.  She always knows what she did to loose a fruit/monkey- she has never come home and not known why.  Good luck to you and give her an extra kiss and a squeeze tonight for having to put up with such a nasty teacher!!

HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:47 PM

yeah, the thing that is frustrating and i've told the teacher several times is that the doctor is also having her evaluated for Childhood Disintigrative Disorder and she has always had issues with getting severly overwhelmed with sound.  I talked to her yesterday after school cuz she was in her room crying and telling us she was a bad kid.  I asked her if she likes school and she said she does but when i asked her about her teachers classroom, she said she gets stressed out when the other kids talk to her because she she tells the teacher that the other kids are distracting her, she is told to stop tattling.  They get their report cards today, and we are going to request a meeting with the school counselor and the principal.


Quoting HyperMom38:

And that is the reason I do not tell the school about my DD's ADD/ ADHD diagnosis- because once they are "labeled" that's the way some teachers will act.  I'm not saying all teachers are like that- but there are definitely enough to make me careful about what I let them know.  It is not the teacher's place to say she needs medication.  I would call the principal and ask for a meeting between you, the teacher and the principal and whoever all else is involved.  I would demand to have my DD switched to another classroom.  I cannot imagine what it is like to be your daughter and go to school every day and know that no matter how good she does the teacher is going to make sure she is orange or red.  In my DDs school they do a similar system with monkeys and fruit.  She always knows what she did to loose a fruit/monkey- she has never come home and not known why.  Good luck to you and give her an extra kiss and a squeeze tonight for having to put up with such a nasty teacher!!



HyperMom38
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Yeah- It sounds like this teacher is ruining her self esteem.   Kids with ADD/ ADHD aren't stupid- they know they are different and cannot pay attention like the other kids, so for the teacher to punish her every day for it is cruel.  To me it sounds like the teacher has some high expectations- I don't think I could look at someone for 20-40 minutes straight and not look away for a few minutes here and there!  My DDs teacher doesn't know about her diagnosis, but her policy is to talk it out with the kids that misbehave and come up with a better way to act, but she doesn't judge them the way the teacher your DD has seems to.   Good luck at your meeting.


yeah, the thing that is frustrating and i've told the teacher several times is that the doctor is also having her evaluated for Childhood Disintigrative Disorder and she has always had issues with getting severly overwhelmed with sound.  I talked to her yesterday after school cuz she was in her room crying and telling us she was a bad kid.  I asked her if she likes school and she said she does but when i asked her about her teachers classroom, she said she gets stressed out when the other kids talk to her because she she tells the teacher that the other kids are distracting her, she is told to stop tattling.  They get their report cards today, and we are going to request a meeting with the school counselor and the principal.


Quoting HyperMom38:
Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:23 PM

I'm sorry. I can't think of any advice at this time. Here's a BUMP!

DrDoofenshmirtz
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:36 PM

Has she had a full psychological education evaluation?  If not, I would recommend it as it sounds like more may be coming into play than just ADD, and knowing what you are dealing with is really important for treatment.  Second, there are definitely things you can do other than medication and the school should have a special education teacher or counselor that can help make a plan to help.  Along with that, there are many therapeutic programs out there that kids with ADD/ADHD can go through to help them train their brains to focus, etc.  I would look into those.  I would try the teacher once more and then call the principal to schedule a meeting.  Your DD should know why she is being moved down for behavior if they have any hope of her fixing it. 

dawncs
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Is your daughter on a 504 plan (http://www.wrightslaw.com/)? It is modifications that allow a disabled child to attend school. I recommend requesting in writing an evaluation for Special Education services for your daughter. An idea to help her with school in making sure she takes everything home or to school is that she has a checklist with her of everything she needs. I also recommend if she does not have already a folder set aside for homework to let it travel between home and school. You can find more free tips to help her at http://www.chadd.org/ and http://www.ldonline.org/.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

dawncs
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:45 PM

 Have you thought of getting her evaluated for Sensory Integration Disorder? An idea to have into her 504 plan (http://www.wrightslaw.com/) is to have a place for her to go if she gets sensory overloaded to calm her senses without penalty.

Quoting HaileysMom07180:

yeah, the thing that is frustrating and i've told the teacher several times is that the doctor is also having her evaluated for Childhood Disintigrative Disorder and she has always had issues with getting severly overwhelmed with sound.  I talked to her yesterday after school cuz she was in her room crying and telling us she was a bad kid.  I asked her if she likes school and she said she does but when i asked her about her teachers classroom, she said she gets stressed out when the other kids talk to her because she she tells the teacher that the other kids are distracting her, she is told to stop tattling.  They get their report cards today, and we are going to request a meeting with the school counselor and the principal.

Quoting HyperMom38:

And that is the reason I do not tell the school about my DD's ADD/ ADHD diagnosis- because once they are "labeled" that's the way some teachers will act.  I'm not saying all teachers are like that- but there are definitely enough to make me careful about what I let them know.  It is not the teacher's place to say she needs medication.  I would call the principal and ask for a meeting between you, the teacher and the principal and whoever all else is involved.  I would demand to have my DD switched to another classroom.  I cannot imagine what it is like to be your daughter and go to school every day and know that no matter how good she does the teacher is going to make sure she is orange or red.  In my DDs school they do a similar system with monkeys and fruit.  She always knows what she did to loose a fruit/monkey- she has never come home and not known why.  Good luck to you and give her an extra kiss and a squeeze tonight for having to put up with such a nasty teacher!!

 

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

cjsbmom
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:21 PM

I have a huge issue with moving a kid to red and not telling them why. Kids can't improve on behavior if they have no clue what it is they are doing wrong. 

HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:58 PM

yeah we are contacting the principal on monday because on friday she was a good color but when we told her despite the one good day we would still like to sit down and conference with her and at least the school counselor, she flat out told me no, she will not do that.  I did speak to the counselor that afternoon too and she said in the case of a meeting with a parents like we are requesting the resource and herself would be doing off and on evaluations and drop bys for a few days prior to the meeting so they can get an idea of what advice they could give.  I don't know if thats why the teacher said no or if the teachers ego is just so big that the idea of needing extra help with a difficult child is offensive (yes i know mine is not normal which can be difficult).  For now we are being happy that dd was in the green although part of me wonders if her behavior was really any better because when i brought up still having the meeting the teachers exact words were, "but Hailey was in the green today."  so part of me wonders if she was only green to get us off her ass or was she really good in class yesterday.  Either way, until we find out whats really going on, i'm definately not going to be as hard of my dd.


Quoting DrDoofenshmirtz:

Has she had a full psychological education evaluation?  If not, I would recommend it as it sounds like more may be coming into play than just ADD, and knowing what you are dealing with is really important for treatment.  Second, there are definitely things you can do other than medication and the school should have a special education teacher or counselor that can help make a plan to help.  Along with that, there are many therapeutic programs out there that kids with ADD/ADHD can go through to help them train their brains to focus, etc.  I would look into those.  I would try the teacher once more and then call the principal to schedule a meeting.  Your DD should know why she is being moved down for behavior if they have any hope of her fixing it. 



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