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how do you talk with a young child

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:24 PM
  • 8 Replies
about death? my father just died. ds (6) was very close with him. i got a book to read to him about making sure to cry if he needs to and talk to adults. i want to do more. ds was there when my father passed. my dad went peaceful thankfully but it was still hard for ds. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:24 PM
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Replies (1-8):
KristenFowles
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:27 PM

When my grandmother passed in November, I told my older two, 6 and 5.. pretty bluntly..

I'm incredibly close to my grandmother.. And we knew she was dying.. she had lung cancer.. So I kept my kids updated and involved.  We talked about that she was sick and was going to die soon.. And that I was going to be incredibly sad......  

I answered a couple of their questions.. and that was that.. They're still young enough to where it didn't phase them too much..  Which I was glad for them.. because my world has been pretty gray since.  

                         


There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

frndlyfn
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:28 PM

I would just be there for when he needs to talk or needs extra hugs.   I personally would not keep talking about it especially since it is so fresh.  Let yourself and he start the grief process now and talk more the next day.

Pukalani79
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:27 AM

 I'm sorry for your loss

Jamie1972
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:33 AM

i grew up in a famiky that went  church . so when my grandpa died when i was 5 my mom told me he died. that he will no longer be with us here on earth but he will be up  in heaven with Jesus. and that its ok to be sad and miss, and that he will  always be remembered in my heart.

janitablue
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:02 PM

 I am sorry for your loss. My son was your son age when both of my parents died on the same year. There is no right or wrong way when it comes to talking about death . Honestly all you can do is comfort him.You did  the  right thing by getting the book .


Momyplease
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:59 PM
my husband past when my son was 3 years old and he did not gone peacefully into the night to say the list. my boy saw most of it. He was shocked for a long time. But I explained to him about heaven and God. and every time he asked med about what happened I tried answere it as honestly and sugar coated as I could. Every year I put less and less sugar coat on it. sorry I don't have the answere only an experience.

Quoting mommy06and09:

about death? my father just died. ds (6) was very close with him. i got a book to read to him about making sure to cry if he needs to and talk to adults. i want to do more. ds was there when my father passed. my dad went peaceful thankfully but it was still hard for ds. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:07 PM
When my FIL died, DS was 7 and was fine with being told he died and went to heaven. DD was 3 and she was OK with him being in heaven with our cats. Every so often she'd ask to see him and we would say he's in heaven with the cats and she was fine although sometimes she'd forget and ask again. Once she was about 4 or 5, she stopped asking as she understood he wasn't coming back. Now out of nowhere, sometimes she'll say she misses him and asks if we miss him too. Personally I don't but I say yes. I'm sorry for your loss.
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corrinacs
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:47 PM

The best you can do is tell him the truth about what death is.  If you are religious, tell him about how your religion views death and that it's nothing to fear.  Its ok to be sad due to the loss of a loved one :).  But his granddad will live in his heart for the rest of his life :)

One thing that really helps is to have your child recall happy memories of times he was with his granddad.  Those smiles through the tears will help him recover :)

Good luck :) 

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