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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

OT- Advice please! 8+ year gap

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:55 PM
  • 25 Replies
So I really want dd(7) to have a sibling but we've been ttc on and off for three years now with no luck. I'm just curious how moms with kids that have more than an 8 year gap do it.

Is it harder for your kids to bond with each other? Me and my sister are 4 years apart so we are really close. Hubby and his siblings are 5&7 years apart and they don't talk ever. I'm just scared there may be a 8,9 or 10 year gap between my kids and that makes me a little sad. I wanted them closer in age but that'll never happen.

So I guess I'm asking you ladies on how it was for you. We're your older kids affected in their school work? Dd acts out a bit the first week or so when hubby leaves but then she straightens out and knows daddy has to work.
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by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FarmMom383
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:07 PM

my SO's sister is 10 years older than him without n e other siblings between.  My SO has a 10 year old and we are due in August with my first and his second.  His daughter is so excited.  My SO and his sister are super close, they talk almost every day.  SO's daughter is so excited to help and have someone to play with.  I wouldnt worry about the age difference, it will all work out.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:09 PM

 Ds1 and dd are 7 yrs apart. He loves her, but does enjoy annoying her (he's 14). She adores him. Right now the biggest issue we have is finding tv shows both of them will like. He's into things like Duck Dynasty, Storage Wars, and Star Trek: The Next Generation (on BBC America), while she still enjoys Sprout and considers Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is scary. Other than that, they get along. He adjusted well to having another younger sibling (ds2 is 9), and even voluntarily changed a few wet diapers- and she cooperated better for him than she ever did for me and dh : )

Make sure to give her one-on-one time, let her help, and make sure she knows it's ok to be upset/jealous/angry, but not ok to act out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:10 PM
I have a 7 year gap with one sister,a 4 year gap with another and I'm not close to either of them, but they are very close even though there are 11 years between them.
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snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
I don't have an 8 year gap but I do have a 7 year gap between all 3. (so oldest and youngest are 14 years apart)
They all bonded just fine with each other.
They are very both very close with DD. (the youngest.) I definitely don't have to worry about DD because if they even think someone is being unfair her brothers are on them like flies. I've had to tell them a few times to just let it be.

Really it depends on the children more then the age gap. I know plenty of people who have huge age gaps between there brothers and sisters and they are really close as adults. Me and my brother are a little less then 3 years apart and are not allowed to be in the same room with each other.
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summerbear
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:25 PM
My daughter was 8 1/2 when we had our second child. We included her in every part of the pregnancy. Even let her name her sister on her own. (She named her Lydia Rose) She was in the room when she was born as well.

When people came to see the baby we made sure they said something to her first. We let her hold her sister when they came in so she loved the extra attention!

We spent a lot of one on one time with her as well. She did have a little patch of jealousy though (which we fully expected), but it was resolved through talking and getting her to open up. Her school work was never affected. She seemed to do better. At school she was just Summer. Not a big sister, nothing. Just herself. She really thrived and still does really good.

She 11 now, Lydia is 3. We have also added a 1yo and are pregnant with #4. She has a great relationship with her sister and brother. She likes to take them to the park or to her friends houses to show them off. Not to mention she loves the compliments when she is told what a great big sister she is! We still make sure she gets time alone though. We don't want her to think her life revolves around being only a big sister.

It was a big change and the transition was a little rocky with trying to adjust to having a new baby after having "my baby" all alone for over 8 years. I honestly think it was harder on me than it was on anyone else. I kind of resented the fact that a new baby would take time away from my oldest. But it went away quickly.

Good luck!
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MrsSexyCurtains
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Aww she sounds like an awesome big sister :). I'm just scared of how big a change our lives will take on. I mean the sad part is we may never be able to get pregnant and my dr said I could do in-vitro but I dont know of i'd want to.

I just needed to hear how others are doing it so I can have a few pointers when it happens. Dd wants to name her possible baby sister hello kitty lol I was like how about we get you your own baby doll and you can name it that haha.

I know it'll be a huge change but I really would love another baby. I never wanted dd to be an only child but if she is then that's ok. I love being able to talk to my older sister about everything. Thank you for the advice and congrats on #4 :)


Quoting summerbear:

My daughter was 8 1/2 when we had our second child. We included her in every part of the pregnancy. Even let her name her sister on her own. (She named her Lydia Rose) She was in the room when she was born as well.



When people came to see the baby we made sure they said something to her first. We let her hold her sister when they came in so she loved the extra attention!



We spent a lot of one on one time with her as well. She did have a little patch of jealousy though (which we fully expected), but it was resolved through talking and getting her to open up. Her school work was never affected. She seemed to do better. At school she was just Summer. Not a big sister, nothing. Just herself. She really thrived and still does really good.



She 11 now, Lydia is 3. We have also added a 1yo and are pregnant with #4. She has a great relationship with her sister and brother. She likes to take them to the park or to her friends houses to show them off. Not to mention she loves the compliments when she is told what a great big sister she is! We still make sure she gets time alone though. We don't want her to think her life revolves around being only a big sister.



It was a big change and the transition was a little rocky with trying to adjust to having a new baby after having "my baby" all alone for over 8 years. I honestly think it was harder on me than it was on anyone else. I kind of resented the fact that a new baby would take time away from my oldest. But it went away quickly.



Good luck!

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MrsSexyCurtains
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Me and my youngest sister have a 16 year gap and I feel bad because we are def not close. She's turning 12 this year and is closest to her niece my dd who's 7. They fight like sisters it's too funny lol. I'm in another state so I try to call them when I can and let her know I didn't forget about her.




Quoting snowangel1979:

I don't have an 8 year gap but I do have a 7 year gap between all 3. (so oldest and youngest are 14 years apart)
They all bonded just fine with each other.

They are very both very close with DD. (the youngest.) I definitely don't have to worry about DD because if they even think someone is being unfair her brothers are on them like flies. I've had to tell them a few times to just let it be.

Really it depends on the children more then the age gap. I know plenty of people who have huge age gaps between there brothers and sisters and they are really close as adults. Me and my brother are a little less then 3 years apart and are not allowed to be in the same room with each other.

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birdiemom
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:03 PM
My DD is 13 and DS is 13months! They love each other so much!! Although she is more motherly to him then a sister.
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MrsSexyCurtains
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:07 PM
Dd has been asking for a sister since she was 4 years old. We've tried with no luck but I told hubby I'll give it till I'm 30(2 years away) and then tie my tubes no matter what happens. it's my own guilt but I'll feel so bad knowing I'd get to be a sahm with this baby when I couldn't with dd. I missed out on so much because I worked the first year of her life.

Aww that's awesome they get along and he's a good big brother :)


Quoting wakymom:

 Ds1 and dd are 7 yrs apart. He loves her, but does enjoy annoying her (he's 14). She adores him. Right now the biggest issue we have is finding tv shows both of them will like. He's into things like Duck Dynasty, Storage Wars, and Star Trek: The Next Generation (on BBC America), while she still enjoys Sprout and considers Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is scary. Other than that, they get along. He adjusted well to having another younger sibling (ds2 is 9), and even voluntarily changed a few wet diapers- and she cooperated better for him than she ever did for me and dh : )


Make sure to give her one-on-one time, let her help, and make sure she knows it's ok to be upset/jealous/angry, but not ok to act out.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


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MrsSexyCurtains
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Oh wow! Me and my little sister are 16 years apart lol I thought my mom was crazy for wanting another baby at 42. Of course I was 15 so my views have changed but I was her second mother before I got married and moved out.


Quoting birdiemom:

My DD is 13 and DS is 13months! They love each other so much!! Although she is more motherly to him then a sister.

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