Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Truancy court experience? PIOG

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:40 AM
  • 46 Replies
My 10 year old has diagnosed anxiety and depression, her therapist thinks she has sensory issues and possible ADHD and/or sleep problems. Because of all these issues along with the normal flu or dental appointments, she has been tardy or absent multiple times this school year. She has 3 unexcused absences and 7 'partial absences', which means she came in between 8:10 and 10 (normally just a minute or two after 8:10). She has had multiple breakdowns in the mornings because of stress caused by school or lack of sleep. Once she is calmed down enough to go to school it's oftentimes later than I'd like. I know it's my job to know the attendance policy inside and out and I know I failed at that. I've been trying to get the school and her teacher to to understand what's going on with her but I keep hitting a brick wall. So now I have to go to truancy court and possibly face a fine, jail time, community service and a criminal record.
Anyway - actual question now - what can I expect at the court proceedings? Should I bring my daughter? I will call the court tomorrow to ask but I'm curious if anyone has any experience to share.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
iansusie
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:43 PM

No experience, and I hope to never have to deal with it either. Good luck, I hope you can solve the issue without jail time. I do think YOU need to make more of an effort. If you know she  has melt downs, maybe wake her up earlier so you can make it to school on time. I see lack of sleep is an issue, you need to talk to a doctor and get her some help.  

SoKamele
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I didn't even know that still existed.

myreasontolive1
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:06 PM
5 moms liked this
I would get the Dr. to write a statement about her condition on his letterhead.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Emeraldmama7
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I was called in to meet with the truancy officer last year.  I was devastated!  I was yelled at for my children's absences even though they weren't actually over the mark yet.  For some reason the TO kept grouping my kids together (there are 3 in school) and saying they are all unexcused because I didn't have a drs note.   Well, excuse me! I'm not the kind of mom who rushes her children to the dr every time they have a fever.  I know how to care for them and there is nothing but some tylenol, sleep and fluids to make them better.  Plus, that's money out of MY pocket AND....my dr is 45 mins away from my house.  No thanks.  I had no idea that they were still unexcused if I didn't have a drs note!  (He said, well how do they know I'm not just keeping them home? or going on vacation)  Well, #1- we are allowed 2 weeks vacation! So who has to lie about more days?  #2- if you look you can see child A is absent monday, child B & A on tuesday, child C,B&A on wednesday.  then child A goes back to school thursday, while B and C are still out.  Child B goes back a day later and then child C.  You can clearly see that they all fell ill within days of each other and went back when they were better. 

So, this year....to cover my a$$, I bring my kids in to the nurse to have them excused.  The people in the office were looking at me weird but hey, I'm not risking it anymore.  My kids are always well dressed, well behaved, clean, work well, get good grades.  I was warned last year that the number of absences before you are reported goes down by almost 10 days.  If I get reported again I have to go to court.  So far, my kids have had a few absences and I haven't been reported.  Only time will tell though.  =/

Good luck and let us know how court goes. 

corrinacs
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Holy crap!  Wow, I am so sorry you are dealing with this!

My son['s school is not nearly like this!  My son has been out a ton this year due to illnesses and asthma related issues :(.  I always call the school in the morning and let them know if he's going to be absent or late.  I also write a note to his teacher to let her know that he was out for an excused absence.  I was worried last week that he's missed a ton of school and she said he was fine because I was very diligent about excusing him as well as his grades were doing well, too!

I would speak to the school again, and see if you can go above them even!  Do you have a doctor's note about her anxiety issues?  If not, I'd definitely have that handy when you go to court.  But if you can avoid the court altogether, that's what would be best for your daughter!

I can't imagine the teacher and the school not working with you on this one!  

Good luck!!!

JeremysMom
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:26 PM


Quoting myreasontolive1:

I would get the Dr. to write a statement about her condition on his letterhead.

I was going to recommend this as well. 

kameka
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:38 PM
She wakes up constantly at night and sometimes can't get back to sleep. We've been to the doctor about this and she saw a therapist all last year (with no progress). If I woke her up earlier it would be much worse and I think it's ridiculous to give her less sleep every day because she has a less than 5% chance of having a breakdown. I work my butt off to try to make sure my daughter is in a good frame of mind when she goes to school, mornings are normally calm and pleasant, but sometimes her stress gets the best of her and she has to spend some time calming down beforehand. As I stated, I did not know that after 8:10 was considered an unexcused partial absence, I thought it was tardy, otherwise I would have sent a note. I think the school needs to make an effort if they see students going down that trail by sending a note home or having a conference. I've seen the teacher multiple times and have not once been told to watch her numbers.

Quoting iansusie:

No experience, and I hope to never have to deal with it either. Good luck, I hope you can solve the issue without jail time. I do think YOU need to make more of an effort. If you know she  has melt downs, maybe wake her up earlier so you can make it to school on time. I see lack of sleep is an issue, you need to talk to a doctor and get her some help.  

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kameka
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I have her official evaluation report and a letter from her former therapist all ready to go :)

Quoting myreasontolive1:

I would get the Dr. to write a statement about her condition on his letterhead.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kameka
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:41 PM
That's one of my problems - how can they expect me to take her to the doctor for everything!? It's crap.

I'd also like to know why a truancy officer didn't step in BEFORE I got sent to court. Ridiculous.


Quoting Emeraldmama7:

I was called in to meet with the truancy officer last year.  I was devastated!  I was yelled at for my children's absences even though they weren't actually over the mark yet.  For some reason the TO kept grouping my kids together (there are 3 in school) and saying they are all unexcused because I didn't have a drs note.   Well, excuse me! I'm not the kind of mom who rushes her children to the dr every time they have a fever.  I know how to care for them and there is nothing but some tylenol, sleep and fluids to make them better.  Plus, that's money out of MY pocket AND....my dr is 45 mins away from my house.  No thanks.  I had no idea that they were still unexcused if I didn't have a drs note!  (He said, well how do they know I'm not just keeping them home? or going on vacation)  Well, #1- we are allowed 2 weeks vacation! So who has to lie about more days?  #2- if you look you can see child A is absent monday, child B & A on tuesday, child C,B&A on wednesday.  then child A goes back to school thursday, while B and C are still out.  Child B goes back a day later and then child C.  You can clearly see that they all fell ill within days of each other and went back when they were better. 


So, this year....to cover my a$$, I bring my kids in to the nurse to have them excused.  The people in the office were looking at me weird but hey, I'm not risking it anymore.  My kids are always well dressed, well behaved, clean, work well, get good grades.  I was warned last year that the number of absences before you are reported goes down by almost 10 days.  If I get reported again I have to go to court.  So far, my kids have had a few absences and I haven't been reported.  Only time will tell though.  =/


Good luck and let us know how court goes. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Verrine
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:42 PM

The teacher probably doesn't know about the policy. I think you need to meet with the principal. There should have been a warning. Are you using melatonin to help with the sleep?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN