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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Wiping their butt

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:15 AM
  • 18 Replies

LONG sotry very very short. I have my neices: Sam is 6 and Savanah is 8 my children are 3 and two. The 6 year old "forgets" to wipe her butt. She was being closly watched when she first arrived here for this problem and she was doing GREAT, so we stopped watching. Then I find 10 pairs of dirty underwear hidden since she was "forgetting: to wipe.

So, she has lost all TV, she lost being able to play soccer, for 3 days she was wiping, then she "forgot" again and now she has no panties and is in pull ups (this was warned not like I just handed her a diaper, it's a progression of losing things... anyway)

So, she is STILL "forgetting" to wipe her butt. She is 6 ya'll the fact that I have to have her butt up in the air at my face to wipe it is just nasty.

I am out of options. I have lost the power to punish, there is nothing left to "take away"... how to I change this behavior? I know it is for the attention but why does she only want negative attention?

babies
babies
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Morrigan333
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:24 AM

Maybe there is a problem with her wiping. Like maybe she can't reach or something developmental that makes it harder for her to accomplish this.My dd has "motor issues"    I still sometimes wipe..she's 12.  he might also have Autism

deadlights86
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:27 AM
Eh my almost 8 and 9 yo's still have a hard time remembering to wipe.
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coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:32 AM
2 moms liked this
Negative attention is still attention. I don't know her circumstances but the fact that is with you tells me she's dealing with a lot and doesn't know how to.

Try positive reinforcement instead of negative. Start a sticker chart. For everyday she wipes, give her a sticker, after so many stickers, she gets a reward. Time alone with you might work best since she's seeking attention.

Have you talked to a psychologist (private or the school's)?
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SophieLee
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:41 AM

We are in with the psychologist... yes. That was for other reasons and she knows what is going on with Sam. Yes, they are dealing with a lot and it is a long story to say the least. But they have both adjusted well and this is just a werid thing and I am at my wits end with this.

I was thinking of doing a chart of some sort. How do I apply that to a real life appliaction? It looks all nice and easy but actually implemnting it is going to be hard. And how to I explain to the other three, they do not get a sticker chart? Or do i have them "earn" somethign as well? The thing with what one does they all have to do is NUTS!!! But that is whole other post :D

honeydewmommy
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:50 AM

She sounds like she definatly has some motor skills and low maturity level for her age group. Have you had her tested by a psychologist??  They will test her current IQ , learning disabilites , ADD, ODD ect. How well does she perform in school??

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:38 AM

Isn't she getting a painful burning rash for not wiping well? My dd at 6 didn't wipe very well, though she tried. Even at 8 she sometimes gets skid marks. Gross I know. Sometimes I still have to put some desitin on her. Sorry for the TMI, but sometimes the pastier poo is just harder for her to get off cleanly. I don't check her anymore, but she will come up to me and tell me when her "butt hurts".

Instead of punishing, why not put a mirror next to the toilet so she can look for herself, some flushable wet wipes, and a reminder note/picture above the toilet paper roll.  Just my opinion, but punishing her by putting her in pull ups is degrading and humiliating her. And that can damage her self esteem for yrs to come. And taking away things such as tv etc... where is the natural consequence? How is it related to bathroom habits.

She sounds young and hasn't mastered wiping yet or just to anxious that she is going to miss something that she doesn't take her time and remembers to wipe well. It may just take more time. Talk to the psychologist about positive reinforcement. Like a pp, a reward chart for clean underwear... maybe to pick out some new underwear.

WillsMOM72
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:03 AM
My son was wiping himself at 4 and never forgets to wipe. Maybe get into a routine with it or remind her everytime she uses the restroom.
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Raeann11
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:05 AM

It is normal for this age. You just keep reminding them to wipe.

sahmw2010
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:05 AM

 same

Quoting deadlights86:

Eh my almost 8 and 9 yo's still have a hard time remembering to wipe.

 

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Have you tried special wipes for her?  The moistened toilet paper may help.   The others will understand that you are working to make this a goal for the one child and they .can help by encouraging her to finish toileting by herself.  Perhaps for the sticker chart when she collects so many the whole family can go to the movies or something.  Not everyone needs the same motivation for their life skills or education goals.

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