Thanks everyone who posted, your suggestions were fantastic and at least I know we aren't out of line and being cruel about the whole thing!
She still hasn't opened up and told us the truth. I decided to call my FIL (her estranged husband) last week. I asked him about the dogs.....they are apparently here to stay with us.....along with her :/. She also told us that she got a job in Florida that she was supposed to start Monday. We are in VA, so that was quite a move. I talked to FIL and he said there's no job....apparently this whole thing was based on the premise that he was footing the bill (again). He's got no place to live (been living with a buddy for a few years) because he's been paying for her to live in luxury and not working a day for it. I told him to stop, let the Florida thing fall through.....she doesn't deserve the luxury treatment any longer......and neither does he. He needs to move on and finally get his own feet back on the ground.
So, back to her. We called her mother in Texas and said that we were buying her a one way ticket to her house. Her mother's mother passed away a while back, and they still own that house. So, free house for her to stay in near her mother who has the time to take care of her.....makes more sense, right?
But, there's another rock to pin us in :/. She hurt her leg before she "moved in". Her leg is in bad shape. She keeps talking to us about it and saying its necrotizing and she has MRSA and all this other mess! It's scaring the living crap out of us because now she's got this aweful infection (or so she says) and around my kids. Still sleeping in my son's bed!!!!! I have no where else to put my son, except in his bed! This is just really creeping me out and I wish she'd be more truthful. Oh, and apparently she also has breast cancer (its no end with her). I don't know what to believe anymore!
So, needless to say...we don't know what to do. She needs to be hospitalized IMO if she's got MRSA. But her doctors keep sending her home (our house) and asking her to come in every 12 hours for an antibiotic drip. I don't know what is going on with that!!!!! We cant afford to put her into a hotel (around here, DC area, you can only imagine the price of that).
Anyway, thought I'd let you know :/.
I didn't want to post my "drama" here, but I'm getting to the point that I dont' know what to do anymore. I won't go into grave detail about our current situation, but I'll give you enough of the backstory so you can get a handle of it.
My MIL asked me 3 weeks ago if she could stay one night. She had a doctor's appointment near us and she lives 4 hours away. I said "sure", because I woudln't want to drive 8 hours in one day just for one appointment. Well, apparently, one night means 3+ weeks.......because 3 weeks later she's still in our house. There's no sign of her leaving anytime soon either.
Secondly, the dogs. She asked us if the dogs could stay over one day last weekend. Sure, we said, one day was fine. But its been a week and the dogs are still in my house. Normally, we woudln't care, the dogs are cute, adorable and cuddly things. But our older son is VERY allergic to dogs. He's allergic to thier fur, dander and saliva! Its been really aggravating his allergies to the point he's been on Benadryl full time!
Now for the question: between all of this, Caden's routine and discipline have gone out the window. If he asks for something and we say "no", she jumps right on in and does it for him. We were attempting at teaching him patience and independence. But, she isn't allowing that to happen and is constantly undermining our word. She has even come out and said "what's one litte cookie before dinner" or "well, if they won't do it I will", etc. Its an uphill battle now.
Not to mention, his allergies. One of his allergic symptoms is misbehavior. Well, he gets hyper and thus stops listening and paying attention. It makes sense, he's itchy and his eyes really bother him! It's hard to focus when you feel that way.
My husband and I are just past our breaking point. We've been nothing but nice to her and its getting to the point that we can't live our lives anymore. She sleeps on HIS bed (he's on the floor) because we just don't have the space. We are thinking of ways to handle that situation, but we are mainly looking for ways to describe this situation to Caden in hopes that it will get him back to the great, lovable, patient, independent kid we know!!!