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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

I'm a bad mom, I don't like playdates (update, 2nd comment on 3rd page)

Ok, I don't mind pawning my child off elsewhere for a playdate, but having them at my house isn't all that exciting for me. 

Today was my son's first official playdate that wasn't with family. A neighbor rode his bike over, and after talking to his mom, he wound up in my backyard for about 1/2 hour. Then we walked him home and they played at his house for like 1/2 hour. I feel like a bad mom because I guess I don't really like this kid. He used to hit and kick my son on the bus. My son really wants to play with him so I finally gave in. He wasn't bad, I just can't get over the fact that he has hit my child on more than one occasion.

As we were leaving, the child was asking to come back to play again tomorrow. I feel kinda bad making up excuses to give a 6 y/o

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Replies (21-30):
LilliesValley
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:32 PM
I would just continue to watch the situation and if a problem develops deal with it then.
Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Update: The kid came over today again. He was walking partway down and I had my son yell that if he wanted to come over, he needed to ask his mom first. So he ran back home and then came back down. 

I tried to keep them outside, but man there was no stopping them.... so for the hour or so he was here, about 1/3 was inside. He just wanted to see all my son's toys. I know it's normal, but I'm also paranoid about stuff getting broken or something. Plus my house needs to be cleaned.

I talked to my SIL about it and she told me my niece has a friend that, together, they're oil and water.... when they play well it's great, but if they're not getting along then watch out. My husband saw the boys playing in the backyard and said "this kid ain't so bad, not sure what you were worried about"

bear2973
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:47 PM

many moons ago, we moved to texas from louisiana. we went from living in the woods (literally) to concrete, street lights, and neighbors. there was this one girl who could be intense (pre-bully?) but she wasn't so bad if you were like me and just went along so as not to cause trouble (there's 8 of us, getting along is a survival skill). My mother couldn't stand her.....and let the little girl know in no uncertain terms. little girl tells her mom, her mom comes and screams at mine, mine at her, vicious circle, so forth and so on. That girl and I ended up in actual fistfights more than once because of our mother's nonsense (IMO). I ended up being bullied the entire 5 years we were in that town. She ended up in constant trouble for "behavioral issues". I think if the grown ups woulda stayed out of it, we'd have been fine. Which is why when my kids drag someone home who causes an instinctual fisheye on my part, i back off and give the kid a chance. I have yet to put a kid out of my house/off my property, but i have more than once told older siblings they were playing to rough with mine. My kids' have good sense (yeah, me, i tend to be a bit hare-brained) and so far have not gotten in with bad crowds or behaviors from following their friends. Some kids just get on your damned nerves, but as long as he's not stealing anything or being mean/talking mean to your boy, give him a chance. And bounce his butt back up the street the first time he lays a hand--playing or not--on your son.

Idntreallycare
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:59 PM

I guess he was trying to throw the soccer ball at my son (I was out front, they were playing in the back) so my son ran inside and locked the door behind himself. I went back and was told what was going on. I let him know that soccer balls are for kicking and then got them a softer ball to throw back and forth.

Quoting bear2973:

many moons ago, we moved to texas from louisiana. we went from living in the woods (literally) to concrete, street lights, and neighbors. there was this one girl who could be intense (pre-bully?) but she wasn't so bad if you were like me and just went along so as not to cause trouble (there's 8 of us, getting along is a survival skill). My mother couldn't stand her.....and let the little girl know in no uncertain terms. little girl tells her mom, her mom comes and screams at mine, mine at her, vicious circle, so forth and so on. That girl and I ended up in actual fistfights more than once because of our mother's nonsense (IMO). I ended up being bullied the entire 5 years we were in that town. She ended up in constant trouble for "behavioral issues". I think if the grown ups woulda stayed out of it, we'd have been fine. Which is why when my kids drag someone home who causes an instinctual fisheye on my part, i back off and give the kid a chance. I have yet to put a kid out of my house/off my property, but i have more than once told older siblings they were playing to rough with mine. My kids' have good sense (yeah, me, i tend to be a bit hare-brained) and so far have not gotten in with bad crowds or behaviors from following their friends. Some kids just get on your damned nerves, but as long as he's not stealing anything or being mean/talking mean to your boy, give him a chance. And bounce his butt back up the street the first time he lays a hand--playing or not--on your son.


gonecrazi
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:21 PM

 No, you are not a bad Mom. I would be leary too if this kid use to hit my son.

zboys
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:32 PM

It's natural/normal to feel that way.  I completely understand why you would feel that way.  You're a good mom for wanting the best for your son.

iwashere
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:41 PM

It's totally natural for you to feel like this. I personally don't like anyone to hurt my son :) The thing with young kids is that friendships are kind of fluid. One day they are BFFs and cannot ever be parted and the next they have forgotten the other kid's name.

But, I would very subtly discuss with you child what makes a friend. You know, maybe you two can read a book about it and then ask him what he think makes a friend, etc. Not overboard, just get him thinking about whether he truly believes this child is a friend or whether it's just somebody to hang out with. You can't make the decision for him, but you can teach him about what a true friend really is.

BuckeyezRule
by Laura on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:48 PM

We always have kids over. There are a ton in our neighborhood. The kids are at my house more often than mine at others, but, that's okay. :) 

And, my house is never really clean. Lol 

You're not a bad mom. :) I like having the kids over so mine leave me alone. :D

sarahfire
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:51 PM
You're not alone. I don't do play dates.

Many reasons, one being I work full time and don't have time, my kids socialize at daycare and school, my 7 yr old plays soccer, is in cub scouts and swimming lessons so he has plenty of opportunity to play with other kids.

I'm not a very social person irl, I don't make friends easily. I'm awkward in situations where you have to make small talk with other moms. And I hate having people over at my house.

I think that about covers it. Yep.
janitablue
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:52 PM

You are not a bad mom to be honest with you I would feel the same way. We have to learn from our children and let the past be the past not hold on to grudges. It is hard but you are doing a good job by inviting the child over.


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