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is it normal or is he being a brat?

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Question: Is it normal for an under 6 year old to cry over a left favorite bear?



just being a brat

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So my almost 6 year old kindergartener slept over at his dads house this weekend and took his favorite bear. I didnt realize it was gone until bedtime tonight when he began crying and stating that he cant sleep without his bear. While i understand that he is almost 6 i feel that this is a normal reaction after all i have a hard tune sleping when he is not here. We called his dad so that my son could get reassurance that his bear is ok and he will get the bear tomorow(evwn if i have to drivemabout an hour out of my way just to get it) and his dad tells him twice to stop being a brat about the bear and he will get it back when his dad comes next time maybe wednesday. My son was not crying hysterically or anything just crying real tears and saying he wants his bear. Is my sons reaction normal or is he "just being a brat"?
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:02 PM

I completely agree that were was a much better way to discuss it with him.  I told his dad this and he told me how much I am babying him and that I am over reacting to his comment.  I pointed out that his sister cried hysterically over a teddy bear he would take to another room until she was about 11 and that I dont appreciate him belittling our son for expressing his concern and feelings and then quickly got off the phone. Thankfully the bear is home again tonight. :-)

Quoting dballa:

IMO the dad's reaction and him being tired is most likely what caused your son's reaction.  There's no reason to call tell him he's being a brat about his stuffed animal.  Seriously, he's only 6. He's only a kid, but that doesn't mean you treat him like poop because you think they should get suck it up.  Yes, you want them to get over it and suck it up but you have to word it it kid friendly. 

Quoting Becka8707:

Quoting dballa:

My 5 year old would be sad but she'd get over it. From what I'm used to dealing with, it's not normal but  I woudnt say hes being a brat either.  Maybe if his dad wasn't so mean about it he wouldn't have been crying??

Anytime my daughter can't find something she's really attached to, I distract her with something else.  It has always worked.

I know his reaction was a little exaggerated (a side effect of being over tired) and he did get over it with a little distraction and reassurance I was just upset about his dads reaction to it. Then I got to wondering if I was mad at his dad because of our differences or if he was actually being mean about it.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:09 PM
1 mom liked this

We just started him sleeping at his dad's house recently... it has not been an easy adjustment for me... but it has been his decision as to whether or not he wants to sleep over.  and yes it was imparative that the bear come home today so his dad finally decided rather have me show up at his house today he would bring it by. but the bear is home so tonight should go much better with the whoe family at home :-)

Quoting corrinacs:

I'd say normal.  A 6 year old dealing with going to and fro different parent's houses is not easy, doesn't matter the circumstances.  This is the only static thing for him.  Do the best you can and hopefully his bear reappears today :)

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:10 PM
2 moms liked this

I am 35 and have a few stuffed animals I would be lost with out them. Not sure if i would cry but would be disappointed.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Im not big on calling children bratty... I actually hate it. 

If you left your purse, or something important to you behind... Youd be conerned, wanting to know when youd get it back, if it was ok. Your son at 6 has a concern about an item he regards as a transitional item... Something representative of you and his dad... A surrogate parent.. A "love"... At 6, he was concerned, feeling lost and overwhelmed and sad... And his dad yells..and he is told to suck it up? 

Where is the compassion and empathy? When we are sad, dont we like someone to treat us nicely... With care and compassion? Or do we like when someone minimizes our concern and belittles us? Or simply dismisses our feelings? Our issue? 

He is 6... He isnt a brat (actually, i dont believe that any child is a brat) you need not worry.... he was tired, and unable to handle the missing "love". 

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Some kids are attached to items that give them comfort.  For some it is a blankie and for others it is a bear.  It is normal.  But also, he has a father who is now out of the home and that makes it more important that he have his comfort item.  Perhaps you can explain to his Dad that he is not being a brat but his dad is not in his home anymore and he has the bear.  He doesn't take it to school with him but needs it to sleep.  Tell him many kids use a blankie or some item for comfort and he took it to Dad's because he finds comfort in going to sleep.  He needs to be more supportive of him in this as long as he isn't taking it to school and it is only for sleeping.  My husband had a blankie that he liked and wanted around even though it was tacky.   So be glad he is just 6. LOL. 

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I would not put a child down for wanting a special bear or blanket.  First, being traded between mom and diad during a separation, is VERY stressful and a child need to be supported NOT put down for having feelings!  HIS reaction is NORMAL!!!!

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 9:49 PM

It'snomal r. He's jsut a little tyke that's what they do over that.   Now the dad...come on now man don't start name callingespecially your own kid.  Kids take what names hteir parents call them to heart and it hurts deeper thani f it was a kid hisa ge goniing cry baby cry baby...or hwateve kids say to eachother that's meantt o be mean.   The boy's just being his age.   I'd be tempted to kick my hubby's butt if he didt hat to our kids.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:48 PM

That's why we always had two or more of the same stuffed animal for our kids to sleep with. One was always the primary, but the other one was always there too.

That way I could wash one with out having to worry if it was going to be dry on time. Or if "huppy" or Barnie got dropped in a puddle, or left someplace, they still had something to sleep with.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:09 PM
Yup. Normal.esp for a kid who splits BTW two houses.

Quoting wakymom:

 At that age, I think he's just being normal.







by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:32 AM
I think its normal especially with transitioning between parents. My daughter is almost 9 & she likes to have a certain blanket while she sleeps. Her dad bought the original one then another after we broke up so she would always have it.
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