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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Retainment Question

Posted by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:46 PM
  • 17 Replies

So my daughter may be doing 2nd grade again next year. We have summer school to do also. But I'm wondering how many of you have had a child that was retained? How did they take it? Do you regret that they were retained, I mean did it help? She knows she may be retained and took it quite well. But I also don't think that she has realized that her friends will be moving on and whatnot yet. We have to do what we have to do to help her. Just wondering how your and your childs experience was. Thanks in advance!

by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on May. 3, 2013 at 11:16 PM

My son was retained in kindergarten and it is the biggest regret of my life. My son was depressed and he was hurting himself at school, every time he hurt himself the school would call and my husband or I would have to pick him up. He missed alot of days that year and because of that the teacher/school forced my husband and I to retain our son.  He has no problems now, he is like any average teenager... for the past ten years I have always regretted being forced to retain my son.

lacyd75
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:22 PM

 frown mini Yeah I'm a little worried about the emotional impact it may have in the long run. But on the other hand we have tried everything to help her be ready for 3rd grade and she just isn't ready. She struggles terribly. And I don't think putting her in 3rd if she isn't ready is really fair to her. I just want what's best. *sigh*

Quoting diaperstodating:

My son was retained in kindergarten and it is the biggest regret of my life. My son was depressed and he was hurting himself at school, every time he hurt himself the school would call and my husband or I would have to pick him up. He missed alot of days that year and because of that the teacher/school forced my husband and I to retain our son.  He has no problems now, he is like any average teenager... for the past ten years I have always regretted being forced to retain my son.

 

mysweet1s
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:24 PM
My nephew was retained in first grade. It absolutely helped. He went from a struggling student with some behavior problems to an A-B student. He is now a sophmore in college and has actually thanked my sister for retaining him. He says that he can remember dreading school everyday because he knew that he couldn't keep up.
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lacyd75
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:27 PM

 I'm sure hoping for that with dd.

Quoting mysweet1s:

My nephew was retained in first grade. It absolutely helped. He went from a struggling student with some behavior problems to an A-B student. He is now a sophmore in college and has actually thanked my sister for retaining him. He says that he can remember dreading school everyday because he knew that he couldn't keep up.

 

mysweet1s
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:31 PM
I should also note that when the decision was made to retain him, my sister and the principal worked together to be sure he had the strongest teacher possible who was best suited to him - I think that made a hige difference.
Good luck, momma. I know you must be consumed with this decision.


Quoting lacyd75:

 I'm sure hoping for that with dd.


Quoting mysweet1s:

My nephew was retained in first grade. It absolutely helped. He went from a struggling student with some behavior problems to an A-B student. He is now a sophmore in college and has actually thanked my sister for retaining him. He says that he can remember dreading school everyday because he knew that he couldn't keep up.

 

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RMC007
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:32 PM

My little cousin was retained in 1st grade. Luckily, she has a summer birthday, so even though she started 1st grade as a 7 year old, she was still 7 at the end of year. It was the best decision her father ever made for her. She went from a struggling student to being recommended for the gifted and talented program. She is now in 5th grade, has plenty of friends, and is an honor student.

Going from second grade to third grade is a HUGE transition. If she is struggling in 2nd grade, she will more than likely struggle in 3rd grade. Your dd may be upset at first, but maybe once she feels what it is like to go from struggling to being successful, she will be happy and accept the retention?

gma12.1
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:37 PM

 I wish I could give you an answer or advice. My grandson should've been held back when he was in 1 or 2 grade but the school wouldn't and the district has real strict rules. You have to have an act of congress in our district to get a kid held back. He has problems now that could have been dealt with a long time ago.

lacyd75
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:43 PM

 I know she stays so frustrated with struggling. So that's what i've been thinking too, is that once she begins to improve she will can so much more confidence and get excited about school again. She used to be excited for it and now it's just a challenge to get her out the door.

Quoting RMC007:

My little cousin was retained in 1st grade. Luckily, she has a summer birthday, so even though she started 1st grade as a 7 year old, she was still 7 at the end of year. It was the best decision her father ever made for her. She went from a struggling student to being recommended for the gifted and talented program. She is now in 5th grade, has plenty of friends, and is an honor student.

Going from second grade to third grade is a HUGE transition. If she is struggling in 2nd grade, she will more than likely struggle in 3rd grade. Your dd may be upset at first, but maybe once she feels what it is like to go from struggling to being successful, she will be happy and accept the retention?

 

thebailiffs
by on May. 4, 2013 at 12:37 AM

I am curious about a few things... Is she below in certain areas or in all subjects? Is she just this way in school or does she struggle with learning even at home? Has anyone suggested seeing if she has some learning issues? Also, one last question, how old is she? 

Thanks

lacyd75
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:15 AM

 Her main struggles are Reading and Math. We had her tested and she doesn't quialify for an IEP. She takes title one Reading. And they have no extra help classes for Math. It has been brought up before that maybe I should have her tested for APD (auditory processing disorder). I have talked to the school counselor about this. So we are looking at having her tested for that. But the school is behing with testing they are overloaded. So i'm going to talk to her Dr about this. It may be faster for them to do it than the school. I'm checking into everything I can think of. It may be a maturity thing too. She is easily distraced so I have her using ear plugs when she can as was suggested by a mom on here. She will attending summer school this year also. She is 8 will be 9 in November.

Quoting thebailiffs:

I am curious about a few things... Is she below in certain areas or in all subjects? Is she just this way in school or does she struggle with learning even at home? Has anyone suggested seeing if she has some learning issues? Also, one last question, how old is she? 

Thanks

 

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