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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Just For Fun: Have Your Kids Turned Your Home into a Dump?

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 12:20 PM
  • 24 Replies

9 Ways My Pack Rat Kids Have Turned My House Into a Garbage Dump

by Linda Sharps 

There are times when I feel an overwhelming sense of despair over the amount of housekeeping it takes just to achieve a "baaaarely acceptable, as long as no one unexpectedly drops by for a visit" level of cleanliness. The problem isn't just that I hate cleaning and vacuuming and picking up and doing dishes and putting away laundry (although sweet jesus, I truly do), it's that there is absolutely ZERO job satisfaction with these tasks because they're never ever ever ever ever ever finished. As Taylor Swift would say: like, ever.

As if it's not bad enough to be mired in a Sisyphean loop of interminable homekeeping activities, my kids make it a thousand times worse by, well, by EXISTING, frankly, but also by glomming onto certain cluttery garbage-y items and refusing to part ways with them. So not only is my house forever littered with the basic detritus of crumbs, pieces of paper, articles of clothing, and miscellaneous dropped objects, there are all these ... THINGS, too.

For instance! Here are 9 random items that really should have made their way to a garbage can by now, but instead, they're each taking up space in my house. And in some cases, waiting to puncture the bottom of my foot in the dead of night.

ITEM 1: MONTHS-OLD SIGN ON 7YO'S DOOR WITH DIRE, GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT WARNINGS.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "But if I don't have this sign Dylan will go in my room and, and, and ... and then he'll play with my toys!"


ITEM 2: WEIRD COLLECTION OF GOOGLE IMAGES PRINTED, CUT OUT, AND HAPHAZARDLY TAPED TO THE INSIDE OF A CABINET DOOR.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "Those are my AMINALS."


ITEM 3: CRAPPY MCDONALD'S HAPPY MEAL TOY WHICH IS MISSING ITS PROJECTILE (1 of approximately 28954).

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "It's Eagle Shooty ... uh, Soldier Guy! I love Eagle Shooty Soldier Guy."


ITEM 4: FORTY BILLION MILLION JILLION KAZILLION LEGOS, USUALLY STREWN ALL OVER THE FLOOR.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "What do you mean, give some of them away?" *clutches chest dramatically* "I need all the Legos, Mom! ALL OF THEM."


ITEM 5: TWO RANDOM PIECES OF PLASTIC TAPED TOGETHER WITH LINES DRAWN ON THEM.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "That is my COMPUTER."


ITEM 6: CRUMBLING BLOB OF HARDENED PLAY-DOH.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "But Mom, that's Perry the Platypus!"


ITEM 7: CHUNKS OF WOOD NAILED TOGETHER WITH PEELING STRIPS OF DUCT TAPE.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "I made that G.I. Joe aircraft carrier all by myself, so I want to keep it. Unless ... *scheming expression* you want to buy me a real one, that is."


ITEM 8: TWO STALE MARSHMALLOWS IMPALED ON A TOOTHPICK? SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL?

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "That's in case my Lego guys want to lift some weights!"


ITEM 9: CREEPY SEVERED HEAD FROM A BOBBING-HEAD DOG TOY.

CHILD'S EXCUSE: "Spotty Head Puppy ... uh, Guy! Ohhhhhhhhh, we can't get rid of Spotty Head Puppy Guy."

Do you have this problem in your house too?
Which items do you most want to secretly dump in the trash when your kid's not looking?


by on May. 7, 2013 at 12:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe MichelleP
by Head Admin on May. 7, 2013 at 12:50 PM

I have to admit, I tend to want to toss the Legos out, especially if I step on an errant one. The kids meal toys too. I hate those but he insists they are the best things ever.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM

 Mine have the uncanny ability to start playing w/ a toy again after what seems like eons of not being played w/ if I so much as THINK about tossing it.

Matchbox/Hot Wheels cars w/ broken wheels get put up on a shelf as "look at only" cars by the boys.

Pretty much everything dd owns (store-bought or made by her) is "very special to me".

They do come by it honestly, though- I'm a pack rat. It takes me forever to get rid of anything, and then I usually take a picture of it before giving away/tossing.

 

 

 

 

 

Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:19 PM

I just toss things like that when they are not looking.  Especially things like the Happy Meal toys.  But my kids don't get super attached to things.  A happy meal toy will be really super cool for like the first day, and then they never think about it again.  Makes it pretty easy to toss.  They also like to make 'sheds' for their Thomas trains out of empty cereal boxes.  However, we go through a lot of cereal in our house so if I'm on a cleaning rampage and throw out the 'sheds', it won't be long before they can make another.

My house is just dumpy for completely different reasons.  I just have no time or motivation to keep it clean or even picked up all the time.

ruby_jewel_04
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this
my kids don't get McDonalds. So no crap toys. Lol. My kids love arts and crafts. My house gets strewn with bend-a-roos, pipe cleaners, play-doh, googly eyes, markers, glitter, scrap paper, paint brushes, beads, string, and all kinds of other junk. Lol...
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ninamsi
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:28 PM

My son loves paper.  He has tons of paper and always wants more.  We put a lot of paper in the recycling bin.

luvcats406
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Lol.  This is a funny article because it is so true!  I am surprised I am not in the hospital for the amount of times I have injured my foot on those blasted Legos.  But oh no we cannot give them up!  Oh and the signs on the door!  We must keep them up or brother/sister will be in their rooms.  I say why bother since they go in there anyway.

calsmom62
by on May. 7, 2013 at 6:25 PM
This is my house too. Art supplies enough to stock a school. Apparently ds needs every single item strewn all over when he is feeling creative. Don't forget paracord. He has 500 foot rolls all over. And the marshmallow dumbells you found? We have them too for Legos people. Even the cat gets in on the act and drags skeins of yarn out of the art cart


Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

my kids don't get McDonalds. So no crap toys. Lol. My kids love arts and crafts. My house gets strewn with bend-a-roos, pipe cleaners, play-doh, googly eyes, markers, glitter, scrap paper, paint brushes, beads, string, and all kinds of other junk. Lol...

theresaphilly
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 6:45 PM

NOPE, they turned their playroom into a dump. We are going to get it organized the first week after school lets out for summer.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on May. 7, 2013 at 7:36 PM

LOL

We watched Toy Story 3 after my four year old caught me throwing a happy meal toy in the trash. He cried and cried that his puppy toy got burned up in the incinerator because I threw it away. 

When he is on horders in a few years you will see me blaming toy story 3 in my interview. 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on May. 7, 2013 at 7:37 PM


Quoting Cafe MichelleP:

I have to admit, I tend to want to toss the Legos out, especially if I step on an errant one. The kids meal toys too. I hate those but he insists they are the best things ever.

Those Legos are too exspensive to toss!!! 

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