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Picking out clothes!

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:56 PM
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My oldest is 10, 7, 4, and 2. For my 3 oldest I have hard time letting my kids pick out their clothes and when they do I dislike what they picked out and make them change or if it's a dress and their are no clean tights I either don't allow her (4) to wear a dress unless I have her wear pj shorts underneath. What's wrong with me?

I think I'm overprotective! I don't let my children play outside by themselves not even to ride their bike on the sidewalk. I haven't let them go to a friends house simply, because I don't know their parents and request a background check.

I always get upset when my 2 year old drags out a few video in my clean living room (I dont get too mad) I always want a clean house, even my 3 other kids.


Seriously am I control parent or what is wrong with me?

by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:56 PM
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by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:24 PM
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Yes you are way too controlling. I can understand about being cautious about them being outside w/o supervision or going to a friends house if you do not know the parents.   Let them wear clothing they want as long as no parts are showing that should be "hidden"from the sun.  Take the time to meet the parents of their friends to get a feeling overall if it is safe there.   How often do you allow them to invite friends there? Do you have a backyard they can play in?  The 10 yr old needs a bit of independance to help them grow.   When they pull out toys or videos, it is time to also teach how to put them back.

by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:29 PM
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Okay, I would ask yourself why it bothers you.  I have a 12 and 9 year old.  I have to be careful and really pick and choose my battles.

After arguing with my 9 year old (when she was 4), my husband asked why I cared so much.  It stopped me in my tracks.  Why did I care so much?

So, now, I let them wear whatever, as long as it is appropriate for wherever they go, not dirty (sorry, can't get past dirty clothes) and not too short, skimpy etc.

I let my daughter go to school the other day with Seattle Seahawks socks, green stretch pants, tie dye shirt, and sparkle shoes.  She does this often and it is so an engrained part of her personality it doesn't phase not one person in her circle.


by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 10:31 PM
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I would be highly offended if you wanted me to get a background check for your kid to come over. And our kids just wouldn't be playing. If you're not going any where important let the kids dress themselves.
Also, I don't let ds outside by himself either. I live in a bad area and it's not safe.
by Emerald Member on May. 7, 2013 at 10:47 PM

 You need to loosen up before you absolutely snap!  Like others have said, you need to pick your battles and learn to give your children a little bit of freedom.  If you don't they won't know how to make decisions on their own.  Start with one area and once you can let go of that, then begin working on another.

by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:03 PM
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wow..u need to chill out..let them live a little..
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:09 PM
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Overcontrolling.  OVERtheTOPcontrolling!!    Throttle it down. It isn't good for the kids. You are quashing their independence and creativity by not allowing them to dress as they want. You can suggest, and give a reason why they should wear something, but then allow them to make their own decision and live with the consequences.

Do you have an OCD issue? Maybe a therapist might help you.

Adding, I would NEVER submit to a background check for a person in the neighborhood. That is just creepy and neurotic. Do you pass out the results of YOUR background check to any parent whose child wants to play with your child? The only time I give out my personal info for a background check is the school, or organization that requires it b/c I will be working with children such as girl scouts or church religious ed program, and they pay for it. Not me.

by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:14 PM
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I'm not that different no my kids can't go to someone's house who I haven't met the parents if they want to meet and talk then sure. My kids don't play outside alone in the front yard because we live on a super busy street and the speed limit is 45 which means everyone is going at least 50. They can't play out back alone until the take swimming classes and pass a swimming test because my back used ends in a literal lake.

As for clothes all skirts and dresses have shorts underneath for school no exceptions outside of school it depends on the activity. They can wear whatever they want if its age appropriate and the above rule is followed. I also don't allow high heels for school.
by on May. 8, 2013 at 12:02 AM
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Control issues.  But you already knew that, I think.

by on May. 8, 2013 at 12:28 AM

Sorry I should of clarified just crimal history not every detail. Thanks for replying :)

by on May. 8, 2013 at 12:31 AM

Thank you all for replying :) I do need to chill and give them some freedom which I will work on.

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