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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Need advice(long)

Posted by on May. 10, 2013 at 5:02 PM
  • 8 Replies

Ok so I have a daughter that is having troubles with a couple of kids at school we will call one X and one Y she has been friends with X since preschool and they do a lot of stuff together but my daughter has never stayed anywhere besides her grandma's because she has some medical issues and hates others seeing her take so many meds. K well she is almost done with the third grade now and she has x over to spend the night one night and x was begging her to spend the night at x's house. My daughter refused and came to me crying that she was begging and would not stop what should she do, I said true friends do not peer pressure you and I thought that my other kids were playing with X so she did not hear us talking well she did and she got mad at my daughter for ME saying true friends dont do that stuff. K so the next time she came over she kept asking my daughter to go walking around town (mind you we have new people coming into town everyday and the oil field trucks run right in front of my house). So I said no and after she left my daughter came to me and said X said she you and your mom's dumb rules. So I went and told the mom about the kid pressuring my daughter and then I went the other time and ASKED her what her feelings were on her kid and my daughter were running around town and she said NO not happening. I told her that her child thought my rule was dumb. The next day at school X told my daughter not to tell me but she is not allowed to come to my house because I keep going to her mom. Now Y started hanging out here and she was over this past monday and she asked my daughter to her house Tuesday after school. Well Tuesday Y goes to my daughter and says nobody can come over today because I am with my dad and he has plans with me and X ended up going home with Y. This really hurt my daughter and so then I had to go to the store where unfortunatly X's mom works and I was in a bad mood because my daughter was hurt. I was supposedly glaring at X's mom and so now X told my daughter I can not come over to your house for a year now because your mom was glaring at my mom. Now the rest of the week X has been making Y ignore my daughter and that Y is not allowed to show my daughter something that X gave her. Should I go to the mother again? My daughter said she don't want me to because this girl will just keep getting worse if I do. Now Y told my daughter on Thursday she was grounded from friend's because of something that X did and blamed Y. I don't know if it is true I was not there but now X and Y are spending the night together tonight. Advice please.

by on May. 10, 2013 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on May. 10, 2013 at 5:07 PM
3 moms liked this

Everyone involved seems very IMMATURE.  You and the other mother are acting childish.  First of all, do NOT get involved in friendship battles.  Kids need to work them out themselves.  Second, assume whatever you say is going to get back to the other person.  Last, just let your daughter choose her friends and guide her from the background.

GwenMB
by Gwen on May. 11, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I agree - let your DD work it out & just give her advice on how to handle it.

ddhb2007
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this
It's your daughter's job to negotiate this friendship, not yours. It's time to butt out.
mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Advice.. this stuff happens at this age, and continues through HS. Let K find new A, B, Cs and L,M, N, O, Ps.

annabellelee
by on May. 11, 2013 at 11:46 AM

It'a pretty rude to constantly turn down invitations to another kid's house when that child plays at your house without taking the mom aside and explaining the medical reasons. That's the beginning of the whole problem right there.

coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on May. 11, 2013 at 11:51 AM
This. And as DD gets older, more kids are going to want to do things and have her at sleepovers. I don't know her condition but being embarrassed by or ashamed of it, isn't going help. Maybe there's a simplified explanation she can give so friends (and parents) are more understanding rather than just always saying no.

Quoting mjande4:

Everyone involved seems very IMMATURE.  You and the other mother are acting childish.  First of all, do NOT get involved in friendship battles.  Kids need to work them out themselves.  Second, assume whatever you say is going to get back to the other person.  Last, just let your daughter choose her friends and guide her from the background.

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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on May. 11, 2013 at 1:10 PM
You need to let go of DD. Let her take control of her medical condition and teach her not to be embarrassed about it so that she can go be a kid.

Let them go to a park or something together where you watch from the other side bit aren't hovering. Give them space to be kids and as others said....

Stop being mommy tattle tale. Go over, make a date for coffee and go talk to the mom as friends about why you DD doesn't co.e over and ask to start the friendship over. With being mommy tattletale.
double2trouble
by on May. 11, 2013 at 3:45 PM

The other mom knows of my daughter's medical issues and knows of all the meds involved that she takes and understands why my daughter does not want to spend the night. The other kid is the only one that has an issue with my daughter not wanting to spend the night. I only went and told the mom one time what was going on and then asked the second time what her opinion was. My daughter is fine with our rules and understands why we have the rules we have and she does not want to go walking around town. She does pick her own friends and always has. I try not to get involved unless there is a major problem. There is a whole lot more going on then what I put on here and I didn't want to make it really long but she has pretty much for right now said she does not want to go hang out with that kid. Thank you all for the ones that had kind words. 

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