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Advice Needed

Posted by on May. 12, 2013 at 2:22 AM
  • 6 Replies

Hi all my name is Alicia. I have an 8 year old daughter. Her father and I got divorced when she was 5 and she has been back and forth ever since. In the past few months her sleeping habits are extremely bad. I have a set routine and we do it every night. However, after sleeping maybe an hour and a half or two she wakes up, makes her way into my bedroom and sneaks into bed with me. This is happening every night!!! I have tried walking her back into her room or making a bed on the floor in my room but when either of these happen 9 times out of 10 she screams and hollers for nearly 2 hours. I am at my wits end and I am the verge of losing my sanity. Any advice, help, guidance or direction would be so much more than appreciated. thanks in advance.

by on May. 12, 2013 at 2:22 AM
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by on May. 12, 2013 at 2:26 AM

Have you talked to her about why she does this?  What is the visitation or custody agreement?   I would start by sitting down with her to have a girl to girl chat about this recent change in sleeping.  If she screamed or made obscene amount of noise she would lose privileges since she knows better then to be loud after a certain point in day unless there is injury.

by on May. 12, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Before Inhad kids I always heard the phrase " sleep like a baby". Now that I am a mom, I can't believe how much children need to be trained to sleep. 

I would refer you to a book, which I read when my child was young. It really changes my view on sleep and how much children need. 

I don't think her waking up at that time has anything to do with routine. The time she is waking up is right when she is getting into REM sleep. My son does the same thing, he wakes up sleep walking almost every night. He ges up looking for me. Once he finds me I bring him into the restroom and walk him back to his bed. I would start trying to meet her in the hallway, without talking have her go to the bathroom and walk her back to her bed. 

Just don't give her the option to go to your bed. I know this sounds silly, but try to remember you are the adult and you hAve the power to change this. The fix is not over night it will take a while to retrain her. 

Please get this book, 

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child , by Marc Weissbluth. 

It will change how you see sleep and help you deal with this issues.  It is just a stage she is going through. 

Best of luck

by on May. 13, 2013 at 9:48 AM

my 5 year old does this.....wakes up to go to the bathroom then ends up walking into our room and climbing in.  Sometimes I take him back to his bed and lay there with him until he falls asleep....sometimes he climbs in and falls asleep before I notice...then I carry him back to his bed (while he is still asleep).   I notice it happens more here when my son has been playing outside in the evening (and drinks more water so has a more full bladder) If we have him go to the bathroom a half hour before bed...and again right at bedtime that seems to help a lot.  I would find out if she does this at her Dad's too.....she could just be going through a "clingy" stage that will pass on it's own....  I think 8-10 is an age for dreaming and night terrors too isn't it?

by Barbara on May. 13, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Does she have night terrors or is she screaming because she's scared? I'm confused as to what is causing the screaming and what state she is in when doing it.

by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 3:02 PM

I can't imagine my 8 yr old doing this or screaming and hollering for 2 hrs. You need to nip this in the bud and be firm with her and why she needs to sleep in her own bed. My daughter would love to sleep in my bed with me or on a blow up mattress on the floor every night, which she then rolls off of, if I would let her. She says she doesn't like to sleep alone in her room. So I bought a cd alarm clock, plenty of nightlights and close to reach table lamps and books and told her if she isn't tired she can listen to music with lights out, or read a book until she is tired, and then turn off the light herself. BUT she needs to stay in her room.

I wouldn't get any sleep otherwise. Her bedtime is 8:30, which means she starts the bedtime routine at 8pm, with brushing teeth, pjs etc so she is IN BED at 8:30pm.

Edited to add: My dd also has night terrors, sees bees and they sting her. She is allowed to come to bed with us for a short while, but as soon as she is asleep we move her back to her own bed so she wakes in her own room.

by on May. 13, 2013 at 7:40 PM

The screaming is coming from the fact that she comes to my room, tries to climb in bed and I tell her no she is sleeping in her own bed and so she starts screaming and hollering. She can't sleep or it's to dark etc etc etc. When I give her the choice to sleep on my floor it is a constant "Mom I need light" or "Mom it's creepy under your bed", or "Mom I am cold." I have 4 different low light night lights, I keep the lamp in my living room on all night and she has a flashlight and a dream light.

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