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Moving with Small Children - Need Advice

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 8:49 AM
  • 11 Replies

 Moms ...

I need your help and advice.  We are moving about 16 hours away (from Maine to North Carolina).  How many of you have done this?  Our daughter will finish first grade here and start second grade in a new school.  I know that this has a lot to do with what school we choose BUT "do children really adjust" at this age and do they flourish?  I keep hearing that she will do fine but I would love to know what your experiences have been.  I am very, very involved in the school (volunteering, PTA all that stuff) so, will we be ok?

by on May. 29, 2013 at 8:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
wakymom
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 8:59 AM

 My family moved when I was in 4th gr and my sister was in 1st, from MD to CO. It took some time, but we both found a great group of friends and did adjust well.

We moved about 2 miles up the road from our old house, out of a declining school district into a top-rated one the summer ds1 was between 1st and 2nd gr. Again, it took a little time, but he, too, found a great group of friends. He was behind academically, just b/c the new school had higher standards than the old one (they were reviewing things he hadn't learned yet), but he had an awesome teacher who worked hard w/ him and he did catch up. He's now about to finish 8th gr, still has a lot of those same friends, and while he could be doing better in school, it's mostly b/c he's lazy, not b/c he started out behind- all his teachers have said he's capable of doing the work.

Try to be positive about the move and changes, but make sure to let your dd know it's ok to be scared, too.

 

 

 

 

 

May is STURGE-WEBER


Awareness Month

14LVL
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:05 AM

 Thank you for your gentle words of comfort.  I am sending you a cyber hug right now because you gave me such much encouragement.  I think that children do adjust but I needed to hear it from other parents who have actually experienced it, firsthand.  The longer we wait, the more difficult it will be.  Are you happy you made the move?

Quoting wakymom:

 My family moved when I was in 4th gr and my sister was in 1st, from MD to CO. It took some time, but we both found a great group of friends and did adjust well.

We moved about 2 miles up the road from our old house, out of a declining school district into a top-rated one the summer ds1 was between 1st and 2nd gr. Again, it took a little time, but he, too, found a great group of friends. He was behind academically, just b/c the new school had higher standards than the old one (they were reviewing things he hadn't learned yet), but he had an awesome teacher who worked hard w/ him and he did catch up. He's now about to finish 8th gr, still has a lot of those same friends, and while he could be doing better in school, it's mostly b/c he's lazy, not b/c he started out behind- all his teachers have said he's capable of doing the work.

Try to be positive about the move and changes, but make sure to let your dd know it's ok to be scared, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

angelgrl5200
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 9:05 AM
We moved 3500 miles away over spring break, lol my kids are ages 6-13 all of them transitioned great! It may just be the school, or the kids, but they love their new schools! They fit right in, quickly made friends and got comfortable! I would like to think thats how it is for all kids, but reality is, it greatly depends on the school, and how welcoming the kids are at the new school!
wakymom
by Ruby Member on May. 29, 2013 at 9:22 AM

 The ones I made as a kid (moved from MD to CO, to CA, to IN), looking back, yes. I'll admit, at the time, I hated it, but I now have friends all over the country and have seen so many things I wouldn't have otherwise.

The move we made when ds1 was younger- definitely. He has such a nice group of friends, as do ds2 (finishing 3rd) and dd (finsihing 1st). They are getting such a good education and doing things I never did- the 1st graders learn how to write and illustrate a book, and the kids learn starting in 2nd grade how to research a topic and present a short report on it. Ds2 spent a lot of time this school yr researching an animal of his choice (teacher approved, of course), made a short book about it, a display board and a power point. Ds1 has, through his class choices in middle school, had some great opportunities as well- he's been in orchestra and gotten to be conducted by the composer of the music they were learning and has played w/ Mark Wood (founding member of Trans Siberian Orchestra). One science class did a field trip to a local park to actually test different things in the river water instead of just reading about it. And his social studies and lang. arts classes this yr have done mock trials to help understanding of things in the lessons/novels read. All the teachers our kids have had have been wonderful in working w/ us to address any issues/concerns we've had. I'll admit, we've been very lucky that way.

It helps that our town is very family focused; pretty much everyone lives here b/c they want their kids to have the great educational opportunities.

Quoting 14LVL:

 Thank you for your gentle words of comfort.  I am sending you a cyber hug right now because you gave me such much encouragement.  I think that children do adjust but I needed to hear it from other parents who have actually experienced it, firsthand.  The longer we wait, the more difficult it will be.  Are you happy you made the move?

Quoting wakymom:

 My family moved when I was in 4th gr and my sister was in 1st, from MD to CO. It took some time, but we both found a great group of friends and did adjust well.

We moved about 2 miles up the road from our old house, out of a declining school district into a top-rated one the summer ds1 was between 1st and 2nd gr. Again, it took a little time, but he, too, found a great group of friends. He was behind academically, just b/c the new school had higher standards than the old one (they were reviewing things he hadn't learned yet), but he had an awesome teacher who worked hard w/ him and he did catch up. He's now about to finish 8th gr, still has a lot of those same friends, and while he could be doing better in school, it's mostly b/c he's lazy, not b/c he started out behind- all his teachers have said he's capable of doing the work.

Try to be positive about the move and changes, but make sure to let your dd know it's ok to be scared, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May is STURGE-WEBER


Awareness Month

corrinacs
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:28 AM

Oh wow!  I've never moved out of state before, just across my one state.  But one thing I can tell you!!!!

1. Pack thier rooms last!  

2. Send them somewhere where their lives will be together while oyu set things back up!  Even its only for a day or two, having that time not tracking them down will make life SO MUCH EASIER!

3. Unpack thier rooms first.  No matter what, when they return, make sure thier space is together.  That way if they feel overwhelmed by everything going on, they have one DONE place to retreat to :)

Good lucK!

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 29, 2013 at 10:54 AM

We moved from AZ to MN when my son was 5, right before starting kindergarten. I'll admit that the move was pretty stressful on him at the time. He's an only child, so he missed his friends from daycare and his grandmother a lot. By next summer, he loved where we lived and didn't want to go back any more. My son doesn't adjust to changes well, so it just took awhile. I think getting him active in sports helped a lot because he made a lot of friends outside of school quickly through those. My suggestion is to get a community education or rec center brochure when you get to your new destination to start getting your daughter active in the new community, and you could also consider girl scouts or other local organizations that meet regularly in a social setting.

14LVL
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:05 AM

 Thank you .. it sounds like the common theme is that children do make friends very easily, probably easier than adults do, actually.  You said he missed his grandmother.  Was he close to her?  Does she visit often?  How did you handle that situation?  Our daughter is 6 and also an only child.  While her emotional well-being is extremely important to us, we also do not want to hold up our dreams because, like YOU I also believe that in a year from now, she will forget all of her old friends and thank us for getting her ot of Maine.  (Dont get me wrong, Maine is lovely in the Fall and Summer but BRUTAL in the winter).  If you are from MN, you know what I mean.  Did you worry about your son making friends or being accepted?

Quoting Barabell:

We moved from AZ to MN when my son was 5, right before starting kindergarten. I'll admit that the move was pretty stressful on him at the time. He's an only child, so he missed his friends from daycare and his grandmother a lot. By next summer, he loved where we lived and didn't want to go back any more. My son doesn't adjust to changes well, so it just took awhile. I think getting him active in sports helped a lot because he made a lot of friends outside of school quickly through those. My suggestion is to get a community education or rec center brochure when you get to your new destination to start getting your daughter active in the new community, and you could also consider girl scouts or other local organizations that meet regularly in a social setting.

 

mommaFruFru
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:18 AM
I'm worried about something similar.

We will be moving, though it'd only 15miles, its a new school, And we will beoving into my grandfather's home when he passes , but it will mire then likely be mid year :/ my boys will be in 2nd and k
Barabell
by Barbara on May. 29, 2013 at 11:59 AM

When we lived in AZ, he would see her every week or every other week. A year after we moved to MN, she moved out here to be closer to us (or him since he's the only grandchild). We moved almost 8 years ago, so Skype wasn't an option for us back then.

Currently, we're planning a summer trip with my mom, and my mom asked me if we wanted to visit my home town in OH. I told her that I was only 7 when we moved, so I don't remember it that well. She seemed surprised, so I turned to my son and asked him how well he remembered AZ since he was almost 6 when we moved. (He's 13 now.) He replied that he doesn't really remember it at all. Going through the process of the move will be stressful on you and your family, but it could end up being a great opportunity. I hated living in Phoenix. I was so tired of the crime, the pollution, and the brutal summers. All three of us are much happier here, and I know from growing up in Phoenix myself that my son is surrounded by more positive influences (i.e. peers) in addition to the quality of his education being far superior to what I had.

My son is very social, and so I never really worried about it. He also hadn't started school yet, so maybe that alleviated some of my worries too. I think it was fairly easy for him to make friends here. He has a lot of friends, and he's always getting together with them. Shortly after we moved, we bought a house. He went to a pretty small elementary school, and since it is an immersion program, they rarely get new students. He's had a lot of consistency since the move in terms of school and sports and scouts, so he's done these activities with a lot of the same kids for a long time. 

Quoting 14LVL:

 Thank you .. it sounds like the common theme is that children do make friends very easily, probably easier than adults do, actually.  You said he missed his grandmother.  Was he close to her?  Does she visit often?  How did you handle that situation?  Our daughter is 6 and also an only child.  While her emotional well-being is extremely important to us, we also do not want to hold up our dreams because, like YOU I also believe that in a year from now, she will forget all of her old friends and thank us for getting her ot of Maine.  (Dont get me wrong, Maine is lovely in the Fall and Summer but BRUTAL in the winter).  If you are from MN, you know what I mean.  Did you worry about your son making friends or being accepted?

Quoting Barabell:

We moved from AZ to MN when my son was 5, right before starting kindergarten. I'll admit that the move was pretty stressful on him at the time. He's an only child, so he missed his friends from daycare and his grandmother a lot. By next summer, he loved where we lived and didn't want to go back any more. My son doesn't adjust to changes well, so it just took awhile. I think getting him active in sports helped a lot because he made a lot of friends outside of school quickly through those. My suggestion is to get a community education or rec center brochure when you get to your new destination to start getting your daughter active in the new community, and you could also consider girl scouts or other local organizations that meet regularly in a social setting.

 


14LVL
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 Whether it is across the country or across town, a move is a move and the same set of concerns come with both.  I appreciate you posting and sharing that you have the same concerns.  It sounds like we both currently have a first grader (and you have one younger).  Such big decisions but I am confident that we will both be fine.  The most important piece of the equation is the love and support that children receive at home.  When children know they are loved, change is so much easier :)

Quoting mommaFruFru:

I'm worried about something similar.

We will be moving, though it'd only 15miles, its a new school, And we will beoving into my grandfather's home when he passes , but it will mire then likely be mid year :/ my boys will be in 2nd and k

 

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