Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I redshirt my son?

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 1:19 AM
  • 73 Replies

My son is signed up for both preschool and Kindergarten this fall because I cannot make up my mind.  His birthday is July 25th, our cutoff is Sep 1st.  He will be one of the younger ones if I do send him.  I'm torn because he seems ready acedemically, but a bit socially awkward.  

  He can count to and recognize 100 and beyond, understands addition/subtraction, he is a really good reader and can read childrens books.  He does struggle with writing, he can write his name, but we are working on writing more letters and numbers.

 He talks like an adult at times and has odd interests and so it is difficult for him to connect with other children.  He can play normally and laugh with kids but when he starts talking he goes into conversations about how cellphones work, the SIMM cards, proprietary batteries, incandescent lighbulbs and other odd subjects that fascinate him.  I'm not sure if this is a social immaturity, something I should be concerned about or a reason to hold him back.  


by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 1:19 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I would definitely put him in Kinder - though I don't know that public school is the best option.  I am very jaded by  the treatemnt of my two boys, and myself in the public schools. 

Classrooms are geared for the social medium. So if you havea child that is socially mature and does better with older kids and adults, they will struggle in the class room. 

Same thing with hands-on or auditory learners. Public school classroms are geared for the "majority of students." Those that can sit still and listen to lecture and be quiet. Not those that need to exploreand touch and feel, hear and breathe experiences. 

Your DS sounds much like my Middle Ds and the best thing I have done for him, and my whole family, is to pull him from public school and homeschool hm. 


thebailiffs
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 3:06 AM

It depends on your child and the teacher in Kindergarten.  

My son will turn 7yrs old in Early Sept. he is one of those kids that everyone would have told me to redshirt. Which to me is a term which should only be used if you want your child to have a better chance on sports. 

I was told by multiple people, including his doctor put him in school and do not red shirt him. So we did and he did really good in 1 st grade. YES there are much older, in fact one just turned 8 yrs old this month. So he is on the younger side, which is fine with us. I remember being so bord in school and wanting to be in college in my senior year, I would have dropped out if I was an extra yr old and just finishing high school. 

Pros

Not  another yr. of preschool. 

Not bord in first grade


Con 

He is younger than some of his cclassmates is not as mature as the oldest kid, who should be in second grade anyway, so of course he is smarter becuase he was held back.


I could not imagine my son just starting first grade this year. 

At parent conference we discussed his behavior issues. I am sure it would not matter if it was next year, my son is very social and that gets him in trouble. 

Good luck


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 4:44 AM
6 moms liked this

I'm in the "don't start them early" camp. The immaturity will catch up with them eventually. If I had a dollar for every time a mom has said to me "I wish we had waited", I'd be a rich retired woman. If the issues don't occur in elementary, then they pop up in junior and/or high school. You can always enrich the academics, but you can't teach maturity.

Bluecalm
by Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 7:47 AM
2 moms liked this
He doesn't sound socially immature. Sounds like he just has real different interests than the norm.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jun. 9, 2013 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I red shirted my son. But he wasn't far ahead academically like your son is. My son can do all those things now, but last year he wouldn't have been ahead. 


Kathy489
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 8:34 AM

Is Montessori an option? That would allow him to work in a multi-level classroom at his own pace. I was in the same situation with my son. His birthday is in January, so I would have had to hold him back almost another, but he was already reading. The public school kindergartens here are only a half day, so it would have been two more years before he would have gotten into any real learning. Montessori was perfect for him.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 9:42 AM

 Has he been in preschool before?  Is he an only child?

Honestly, I would send him since he knows much of what they learn in kindergarten already.  Holding him back a year is only going to make that aspect even more noticable.  It sounds like he just has different interests than other kids his age, but doesn't seem to be socially immature since he is able to play and communicate with other children.  How does he do with strange adults?

coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2013 at 9:45 AM
I totally agree.

Is he on any sports teams? They're great for socializing. JMO but based on what you've posted I wouldn't redshirt.


Quoting Bluecalm:

He doesn't sound socially immature. Sounds like he just has real different interests than the norm.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SahmTam
by Tammy on Jun. 9, 2013 at 9:48 AM

 Has he had any preschool or classroom experience yet? If not, my answer is definitely to put him in the preschool program. There he can brush up on social skills and they will get him kindergarten ready. Even if he has has some preschool, the rule I used with my July birthday boys (I have 2) was, "When in doubt, keep them out."

 My oldest was definitely not ready. He is on the autism spectrum and though he is high-functioning, his social skills were lacking and he needed more practice in a preschool setting (he went when to preschool he was 4, but we decided he needed another preschool year, so he went when he was 5 as well.) He did pretty well academically, but I saw that he could benefit from more practice with letters, sounds and writing (because in kindergarten now they need to know their letters AND sounds and be able to comfortably write them all at the start of the year- at least here. They quickly move to writing words and then are off to writing sentences and paragraphs. If they aren't really comfortable with writing their letters they will be at a disadvantage.) So, he went to kindergarten at age 6.

My youngest was ready in every way and I sent him at age 5.

When there is any doubt on the mom's part I think there will never be regrets with waiting a year, but there are often regrets from sending them too soon.

Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 10:03 AM
2 moms liked this
Your experiences in no way represents all schools or the "norm", Your over simplifications of "life" in public school are very misleading and simply not accurate for all. Our schools in our area are highly geared toward experiential, hands on learning - especially in K. Children with many different learning styles and approaches do very well.
Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I would definitely put him in Kinder - though I don't know that public school is the best option.  I am very jaded by  the treatemnt of my two boys, and myself in the public schools. 

Classrooms are geared for the social medium. So if you havea child that is socially mature and does better with older kids and adults, they will struggle in the class room. 

Same thing with hands-on or auditory learners. Public school classroms are geared for the "majority of students." Those that can sit still and listen to lecture and be quiet. Not those that need to exploreand touch and feel, hear and breathe experiences. 

Your DS sounds much like my Middle Ds and the best thing I have done for him, and my whole family, is to pull him from public school and homeschool hm. 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)