Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

odd behavior, should i be concerned?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:50 AM
  • 22 Replies
My youngest is 10 and about to start 5th grade. I noticed since 2nd grade she seems to not have any friends other than the children of my friends. Only one is in her grade at her school. She comes across as very abrupt and rude and i guess i am used to it and stopped noticing. I have tried to explain her behavior to her and can't get through. She states the obvious and isn't tactful when trying to tell someone something negative. She is very outgoing but doesn't seem to notice when she's being insulted or being given a brush off unless name calling is being used. I guess she doesn't notice the normal social cues? After really watching her carefully the last several months i don't think she is doing it on purpose to hurt anyone's feelings but i feel embarrassed for her, but she isn't embarrassed at all.
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:50 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mamapotts00
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:51 AM
1 mom liked this

BUMP!

bzzybeemomof3
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:02 AM
My friends DD is 7 and is like this. Also my kids dad is like this and was as a child. He is ADHD and as a cognitive delay that affects his social cues. He has no boundaries when it comes to saying things to people. Very blunt so to speak.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:34 AM
4 moms liked this

 Have you mentioned your concerns to her doctor?  It sounds like she has some social issues that may or may not be caused by another problem.  At the very least, a social skills group would be helpful to her.  You'd have to get a referral from her doctor though.

mom23heathens
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:28 AM
No, I haven't mentioned anything to her doctor about it. I just never thought about mentioning it to the doctor, never thought of it as a medical issue. I really didn't start getting worried until the tail end of last school year, but her grades are wonderful she's always been on the "a" honor roll and scored advanced performance on all her standardized tests. She is just so socially inept. She is outgoing though, especially when we're at the pool or park. She just walks up to kids and talks and plays but can't maintain a long term friendship. Kids at school make fun of her.

Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you mentioned your concerns to her doctor?  It sounds like she has some social issues that may or may not be caused by another problem.  At the very least, a social skills group would be helpful to her.  You'd have to get a referral from her doctor though.

DrDoofenshmirtz
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:27 AM
4 moms liked this

I would mention it to your doctor.  Many of the things you mention are also things kids with Aspbergers do.  Not to say she has that, but she could benefit from the same social coaching kids with Aspbergers receive.  What have teachers mentioned throughout the years?

 

LilliesValley
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:32 AM

I think this is her personality type. BUT maybe get some books that you can read with her. She needs to learn that some day this could affect reltionships with others or at a job because you need to find polite ways to say things at times. If she's aware of it, it won't be as hard for her. To me it's similar as a kid with no impulse control. They need to learn to stop and think before opening their mouth or grabbing something. Your dd needs to do the same by learning social cues and norms. They have books about everything any more so I'm sure a quick amazon search will come up with something. Best of luck.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:28 PM

 No, it isn't really medical, but it very well could be psychological and you would have to start with her doctor to get servies for her.  It won't hurt to mention it at the next well child visit.

Quoting mom23heathens:

No, I haven't mentioned anything to her doctor about it. I just never thought about mentioning it to the doctor, never thought of it as a medical issue. I really didn't start getting worried until the tail end of last school year, but her grades are wonderful she's always been on the "a" honor roll and scored advanced performance on all her standardized tests. She is just so socially inept. She is outgoing though, especially when we're at the pool or park. She just walks up to kids and talks and plays but can't maintain a long term friendship. Kids at school make fun of her.

Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you mentioned your concerns to her doctor?  It sounds like she has some social issues that may or may not be caused by another problem.  At the very least, a social skills group would be helpful to her.  You'd have to get a referral from her doctor though.

 

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:28 PM

does she have aspergers?

SouthernMamaof1
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:44 PM

 I would start by taking her to a child psychologist.  If anything, he can teach her how to be more mindful of social cues. 

coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:22 PM
Is she involved in outside activities like soccer or day camp or something like that? Usually they are great opportunities to forge friendships.

Some people just tell it like it is. Some people are just shy and need help engaging with others. Do you encourage playdates for her? I have 3 friends I see a lot...we all became first time moms at the same time and then had other kids. When we're together, the kids interact very well together...they're so used to each other and like being together. Your DD probably has a high comfort level with your friends' kids. That's not a bad thing.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN