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*Help* Not sure how to react to dd's friend!*Long*

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:49 PM
  • 8 Replies

This friend, has been friends with dd for 4 years, sleepovers, going to each other's houses the whole bit.

They are both 9 now, I'm not going to get into how this girl behaves at home and with her mother, but I have noticed her being weird with dd now.

I took both girls to this store and dd wanted a pair of pink earrings, I said not right now. Dd's friend comes over and has the earrings dd wanted on and in pink. She tells dd, "I got the earrings that you wanted" in a Ha ha tone.

Then she proceeds to tell dd she is going to get the cafe lego friends set before her, just like she got the earrings before her!?!

Have any of you had to deal with this with your dd and their friends and have you ever said anything to the friend? I'm not sure what to do, I have talked to dd about being humble and being happy with what she had in life, also talked to her about how sometimes people will have things that she wants but what's important in life is not "things" but family and love.

Any advice mama's?

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:49 PM
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by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM

I'm not sure, but honestly, if my DD had a friend she knew -that- well, I would assume that I knew the parents just as well. So, I'd probably sit down adn talk to the friend, but that's only if I really knew the kid and family super well and were okay with that.

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:01 PM

I would have a talk to them in general about being happy for the other when they have something they may want while not rubbing it in their face.  DD has a friend like this.  She would brag (mostly lies) about things she has or has done like swimming on a 20 degree day.  Then this child would get upset if she found out that dd got to do something fun without her.  Same thing with belongings except she would try to claim dd gave her something because she wanted it .  DD does not give her things away like that.

by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:04 PM
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I would ask your daughter how she felt when her friend said those horrible things.  I would then teach your child how to confront those feelings with her friend.

by Platinum Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:14 PM
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When I first read this I thought that the friend stole them and was planning to steal the next pair. In my opinion, this girl is NOT a friend and that's what I would tell your daughter. Real friends don't act like this.
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Kid sounds like a brat. I wouldn't let my child spend time with someone that treated others like that.
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 2:48 AM
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I can't stand that kind of one upmanship. I actually would have addressed it with the child right there, if I was responsible for her at that moment. I would also address it with my child - that her friend's behavior isn't nice or acceptable, and that there's nothing wrong with what your dd already has. I've encountered situations like this before, and that's how I've handled it in the moment. 

by Gold Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Teach her about bragging and gloating... and how both are not polite and respectful. And when her friend does this just say, "that's nice" and change the subject. If her friend keeps doing it she can confront her with a question like "why do you think you need to get something before me? It doesn't make you better than me, you know."

maybe her friend just doesn't understand social graces.... eventually one day this kind of attitude will make her lose friends. And maybe even your daughter's friendship.

by Barbara on Jul. 22, 2013 at 11:29 AM

Does your daughter care? I'm asking because some kids just don't care about things like that.

My son has one long-time friend that is very difficult sometimes. I have told my son if something happens between them that he can talk to me about it, and if he wants, we can figure out a solution together. When that friend has been particularly difficult, I do say tell him that I'm not going to force him to be around that friend. He can take a break from the friendship (or end it) whenever he wants.

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