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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

What would you do? PIOG Update

Posted by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 4:00 AM
  • 17 Replies

Dh found out he was overdrawn, so he called to find out why.  It turns out dd signed up for Club Penguin and somehow got dhs debit card number.  She has been asking dh for his credit card # for weeks and saying they won't charge it, but we explained to her many times that yes indeed they will.  Dh has decided that she will get nothing more for back to school shopping(we got her a backpack this past monday before we knew what she was doing).  I am grounding her for an undetermined amount of time, she had a beach trip coming up this Saturday she will not be going now at all and I am debating on whether I will let her go to the Job's Daughters picnic that will be on the 17th of August.  And of course she will be banned from the computer unless it is school related.  I am really at a loss of why she would do that, It makes me sad to think she thought this was okay.  She is 10.

So she just got home and I confronted her about it, at first she tried to act like it was an accident Than she tried to pin it on her brother, but I know when she is lying, so she fessed up to getting into Daddys card. I told her she is grounded for a month, no computer unless it's school related(school starts the 14th) No beach trip and she would be doing things around the house to work off her debt. I had her call dh to apologize for using his card without his permission and now she is crying in her room.
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 4:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
anotherandree
by Bronze Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 4:47 AM

Oh geez!  My son (who is also 10), just signed up for that stinkin Penguin website!  It is truly addicting!

But I have to ask if this is the first time that your daughter has done anything like this.  The reason why I ask is because (this is just my opinion), but it sounds a bit harsh for a first offense.  My daughter who is constantly lying and pulling shit would get banned from the computer and have to pay back every cent.  My son (the 10 yr old), who is an overall good kid but has genuine 10yr old brainfarts, would be banned from the computer for X amount of time and then have to write a LONG report about the importance of money (or why stealing is bad or something along those lines while he was grounded to his room).

Cherish77
by Bronze Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 5:03 AM

 Well if it was an accident I don't think I'd be so harsh, but we told her many times we were not going to give her a credit card number and it seems like she went behind our backs and got the number anyhow that seems like she thinks she can get what she wants. The way she feels is that we should buy her whatever strikes her fancy and if we don't she will sulk for hours, we do not give in to her sulking. 

  I told her that she could buy a club Penguin membership with her birthday money. But apparrantly she could not wait 3 months.


Quoting anotherandree:

Oh geez!  My son (who is also 10), just signed up for that stinkin Penguin website!  It is truly addicting!

But I have to ask if this is the first time that your daughter has done anything like this.  The reason why I ask is because (this is just my opinion), but it sounds a bit harsh for a first offense.  My daughter who is constantly lying and pulling shit would get banned from the computer and have to pay back every cent.  My son (the 10 yr old), who is an overall good kid but has genuine 10yr old brainfarts, would be banned from the computer for X amount of time and then have to write a LONG report about the importance of money (or why stealing is bad or something along those lines while he was grounded to his room).


 

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 6:20 AM

I still think that is way too harsh.  i would be having her do extra jobs around the house and hiring her out to others' homes to earn that money back which she spent on a luxury.  Grounding for 2 weeks and supervised computer time even for school work would be sufficient to me.  You can also cancel the account though that probably wont put the money back into where you need it.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 8:35 AM

 The punishments you are offering don't fit the crime, in my opinion.  She needs to be "paying" it off.  If you had planned to give her money for her birthday, then that's a start. Just expalin the money went to pay the bill.  I would also have her work it off at home doing chores.  Kids don't really understand the nuances of credit cards and billing, she's old enough for you to now have that discussion, as well as, identity theft.  Good luck.

mcginnisc
by Bronze Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 9:04 AM
I have to agree that the punishment does not fit the crime. She essentially "stole" your DH's credit card number and used it without his knowledge. The computer issue I agree with- she used the computer irresponsibly. I would also get in touch with Club Penguin, explain what occurred and see if you can get the money back and cancel her membership. Not purchasing things she needs for school is a bit of a stretch for me if that is what you mean about not buying her anything for school. Honestly, if either of my girls did something like that, they would not have computer privileges except for school work and that would be supervised. They would also have to either 1) sell some of their toys/belongings to cover the cost or 2) work it off by doing chores...and not easy ones either. I would have them cleaning baseboards,cleaning the van outside and inside, yardwork such as pulling weeds in the garden, etc... I also agree that a study of finances are in order. At age 10, she is more than old enough to understand how financials work.

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 10:00 AM

 I'm also in the camp of making her work to pay off the bill as well as any fees incurred.  It is really important to understand how credit/debit cards work and get that they aren't free money.  Any birthday money, Christmas money, etc. will be put towards the bill/fees until it is paid off.  To help make it hit home, make up a statement on paper.  List the amount for Cub Penguin plus fees as the total owed in big numbers at the top.  Each time she gets money, take it from her and subtract it on the "statement".  This way she can see her debt getting paid down and really understand where her money is going.

corrinacs
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 10:31 AM

Wow :/.  I've learned NEVER to give a child your credit card information.

My MIL used to let her sons use her card all the time.  Most of us respected it (only used it for food/gas, etc).....but the youngest one would spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on crap!!!  We were appalled and honestly we couldn't believe he would do something like that!

So, we determined never to let that happen anyway.  If you have acar and need gas....get a job.

I think you are doing things rihgt for now.  Banning from the computer is a huge step; as well as grounding.  And make sure you talk to her about the importance of CC safety, reading terms and conditions, etc.

soymujer
by Mikki on Aug. 2, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I definitely agree with steel on this one.  The punishment you are doing is too harsh and doesn't fit.  Making her pay it off will help it sink in.


Quoting steelcrazy:

 I'm also in the camp of making her work to pay off the bill as well as any fees incurred.  It is really important to understand how credit/debit cards work and get that they aren't free money.  Any birthday money, Christmas money, etc. will be put towards the bill/fees until it is paid off.  To help make it hit home, make up a statement on paper.  List the amount for Cub Penguin plus fees as the total owed in big numbers at the top.  Each time she gets money, take it from her and subtract it on the "statement".  This way she can see her debt getting paid down and really understand where her money is going.



family in the van   Mom of four


SouthernMamaof1
by Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:10 PM

So, you are not going to purchase items on her school supply list?  Or, she doesn't have a school supply list?

Barabell
by Barbara on Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:25 PM

I agree with this. Good luck!!

At that age, my son was asking me a lot about my debit and credit cards and how they compared to physical money. I think it does take a little while for a child to understand the concept. It is possible that she didn't fully understand the implications of her actions.

Quoting steelcrazy:

 I'm also in the camp of making her work to pay off the bill as well as any fees incurred.  It is really important to understand how credit/debit cards work and get that they aren't free money.  Any birthday money, Christmas money, etc. will be put towards the bill/fees until it is paid off.  To help make it hit home, make up a statement on paper.  List the amount for Cub Penguin plus fees as the total owed in big numbers at the top.  Each time she gets money, take it from her and subtract it on the "statement".  This way she can see her debt getting paid down and really understand where her money is going.


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