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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Birthday parties and twins and presents

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:24 PM
  • 24 Replies

Okay, so my twins' birthday is coming up in a few weeks.  We are in a fairly small school... two classes per grade, about 17 kids per class.  This year, there are 5 new students between the two classes.  We are first grade... The school has a policy that if they hand out invitations at school, they have to invite everyone in the class.  I have no issue with this. 

We are having the party at home- fruit, veggies, chips, cake and ice cream.  Games, maybe some crafts, and an inflatable.

This year, their best friends from last year mostly seem to be in the OTHER class, so we figured we would just invite both classes... we know that everyone will not come, but we didn't want to leave anyone out... the kids all know each other and play together and talk... plus, we all see each other at different stuff all the time... like I said, it is a fairly small school.  We especially want the new families to feel welcome... we were the new family last year...

the thing is, we are inviting 34 kids to a party for two children... I know that any mention of gifts on an invitation is considered tacky... I don't want people thinking that they need to or are expected to bring a gift for both children (or either, for that matter).  This is not a gift grab... the LAST thing I need or want is a stack of 50+ presents... any suggestions?  My mom said that maybe invite the girls to my daughter's party and the boys to my son's party and just have them at the same time... so the girls would get an invitation from K and the boys from M, but it would really be the same party... but some of their closest friends are friends with BOTH... and they BOTH want to invite them...

I know I can't be the first or only mom to deal with this... help??? 

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:29 PM

 I have seen parents do what your mom suggested and it seems to work well.  I would send girly invites to all of the girls and they would be guests of your dd's.  Then send boyish invites to all of the boys and they would be guests of your ds.

mama_girl07
by Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I would do what your mom suggested. My girls birthdays are only 16 days apart and my youngest doesnt really have friends to invite so last year I invited my friends with kids to "E+A's party" then handed out invites to some kids for just E's party and had them at the same time.

this year i think I will have a party with our friends and family for both of them then have a party for jsut E a few weeks later.

mickstinator
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I am a twin, so I dealt personally with this problem as a child! 

I think you can mention that it's a party for one twin on one invite and the other on the other invites, or perhaps say it's for both and just let the parents do as they see fit. i never minded getting a shared gift at parties, especially since there were always kids present who were there more because of my sister than me. 

ninamsi
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:36 PM

I would put something on the invitation indicating that they make a donation to the Home & School or some other organization that you support in lieu of gifts and state that gifts are appreciated but not necessary to attend the party.

STVUstudent
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM
2 moms liked this

 Thanks for the personal perspective... I think what I will do is, ALL the invitations will say "K and M are turning 6" and the girl invitations will say "K would like you to be her guest" and the boy invitations will say "M would like you to be his guest"... that way, the people who know us well will do what they want, and hopefully, the ones we are just getting to know will not feel obligated to bring two gifts.

Once people got to know us last year, they would include all three of our kids when they invited any one child to a party... they were so inclusive, we want to pass that along to the new families this year...


Quoting mickstinator:

I am a twin, so I dealt personally with this problem as a child! 

I think you can mention that it's a party for one twin on one invite and the other on the other invites, or perhaps say it's for both and just let the parents do as they see fit. i never minded getting a shared gift at parties, especially since there were always kids present who were there more because of my sister than me. 


 

mickstinator
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:44 PM

That was the other weird side to being a twin. I was invited to parties of kids I wasn't really friends with because my sister was friends with them and they didn't want to exclude me. Very sweet, especially remembering this as an adult now. 

Quoting STVUstudent:

 Thanks for the personal perspective... I think what I will do is, ALL the invitations will say "K and M are turning 6" and the girl invitations will say "K would like you to be her guest" and the boy invitations will say "M would like you to be his guest"... that way, the people who know us well will do what they want, and hopefully, the ones we are just getting to know will not feel obligated to bring two gifts.

Once people got to know us last year, they would include all three of our kids when they invited any one child to a party... they were so inclusive, we want to pass that along to the new families this year...


Quoting mickstinator:

I am a twin, so I dealt personally with this problem as a child! 

I think you can mention that it's a party for one twin on one invite and the other on the other invites, or perhaps say it's for both and just let the parents do as they see fit. i never minded getting a shared gift at parties, especially since there were always kids present who were there more because of my sister than me. 




steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:49 PM

 My husband and his twin didn't deal with this much since they were never in the same class at school and each had their own friends.  I would be mortified if I got a pity invite to a party for a friend of my siblings.

Quoting mickstinator:

That was the other weird side to being a twin. I was invited to parties of kids I wasn't really friends with because my sister was friends with them and they didn't want to exclude me. Very sweet, especially remembering this as an adult now. 

Quoting STVUstudent:

 Thanks for the personal perspective... I think what I will do is, ALL the invitations will say "K and M are turning 6" and the girl invitations will say "K would like you to be her guest" and the boy invitations will say "M would like you to be his guest"... that way, the people who know us well will do what they want, and hopefully, the ones we are just getting to know will not feel obligated to bring two gifts.

Once people got to know us last year, they would include all three of our kids when they invited any one child to a party... they were so inclusive, we want to pass that along to the new families this year...

 

Quoting mickstinator:

I am a twin, so I dealt personally with this problem as a child! 

I think you can mention that it's a party for one twin on one invite and the other on the other invites, or perhaps say it's for both and just let the parents do as they see fit. i never minded getting a shared gift at parties, especially since there were always kids present who were there more because of my sister than me. 

 

 


 

mickstinator
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Twins kind of get used to being lumped together! I often felt kind of flattered to even be considered, never mortified, though. We also kind of considered each other's friends potential friends, too, since we were close and all our friends were the same age. We were very close (and still are!).

Quoting steelcrazy:

 My husband and his twin didn't deal with this much since they were never in the same class at school and each had their own friends.  I would be mortified if I got a pity invite to a party for a friend of my siblings.




 


diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:57 PM
I'm glad you figured it out.
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 Maybe for you, but not my husband.  I asked him about this and he said that he'd be mortified with a pity invite as well.  Then again my MIL never lumped them together but encouraged both boys to be individuals.  She insisted that they be placed in separate classrooms from kindergarten on in school.  They both have different interests and had very few friends in common in school.  Oh and it was a very small school, only 2 teachers per grade level and this was the 70's when you didn't even have 20 kids per class.

I have a sister who was a grade behind me in school, many thought that we were twins and my mother insisted the we do a lot of the same activities because it was easier on her.  We had a lot of friends in common but many not in common. 

Quoting mickstinator:

Twins kind of get used to being lumped together! I often felt kind of flattered to even be considered, never mortified, though. We also kind of considered each other's friends potential friends, too, since we were close and all our friends were the same age. We were very close (and still are!).

Quoting steelcrazy:

 My husband and his twin didn't deal with this much since they were never in the same class at school and each had their own friends.  I would be mortified if I got a pity invite to a party for a friend of my siblings.

 

 


 


 

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