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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Dd's seat partner. . . UPDATE Again!!

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:59 PM
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2 moms liked this

DD's seat partner on the bus has been takng things out of her bag, including snacks & food out of her lunch bag.  She's been taking things, & pretending to throw 'em out the window.  Yesterday, she even somehow took dd's socks & shoes off.  Dd says that when she tries to get her things back. seat partner hits her & pushes her away.  Seat partner has also pulled her hair.  The kids are in assigned seats, so I told dd to ask driver if she can sit in a different seat.  This is not the first time this has happened.  A different seat partner did similar things to her two years ago in 1st grade.  Anyway, both times, I emailed the principals & asked them to intervene.  They contacted the transportation dept.  I know the 1st principal talked to the partner, & dd switched seats.  I just emailed the 2d principal about this year this eve, but he said he wanted to talk to this year's seat partner-I imagine dd will switch seats again.  I don't have time in the am's to drive the kids to school or pick 'em up b/c of my work schedule, but I also don't want my kids to keep going through this.  I also don't wanna come across as a whiney, overreacting/overprotecting mom by constantly complaining to the principals about this. Am I overreacting? Any suggestions?

  ETA:  Thank you everyone for your input.  I do appreciate it.  I do totally agree w/ everyone that says she needs to learn to speak up for herself.  We had scheduled school closing today & Mon for Labor Day, so we spent this morning role playing, trying to encourage her to be more assertive.  We told her to speak up loud & clear, "No, don't do that!"  and to show confidence. I even used the example of how we talk to her or her brother when we are correcting their behavior.   We will continue to work with her. She still has a way to go. . . I hope Tue morning, she will have a different seat, but if not, I will follow up w/ the driver herself.  We are a driver training route, so we usually have an extra adult on the bus.  I have again repeated to her that she needs to discuss any further issues w/ either that adult or the driver.  Hopefully, we can keep this from happening againAnd, thanks those that said to talk to the driver & transportation dept first.  Hopefully, I won't have to say, I'll try that next time. . .

 

UPDATE AGAIN: I am so angry, I'm shaking.  Dd & are both in tears.  Yesterday was the 1st day back since writing this post.  I noticed dd was still in the same seat, but I thiougt I'd give it time to see if principal had talked to transportation dept.  Apparently, seat partner wasn't on the bus at all.  Anyway, when dd was getting off the bus today, seat partner pushed dd as she was walking down the aisle to get off the bus.  Dd started crying, so the driver aid/trainer/trainee/ whatever asked what happened.  Dd was finally fed up enough, she told what happened.  I saw extra adult go to seat partner to talk to her.  Don't know what was said.  I wish she'd been switched when I'd said something last week, & I am sorry dd had to be made to cry, but I'm proud of dd for speaking up.  Dd finally told me the reason she didn't, was 'cause partner said if she told, partner would punch her.  I understand dd's fear.  I just get more & more angry the more I hear.  Thank you all for your advice & input. . .

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:04 PM
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I don't think you are overreacting. The kids really need to be taught not to touch other people's stuff.

No advice though, we don't ride the bus.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:19 PM
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 Have you talked to your dd about what to do in these situations?  Maybe try some role paying with her to help her learn how to stand up for herself.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this
This...Im assuming 2nd.grade? She should be able.to stand up for.herself.

How the heck did her socks and shoes get taken off?? Seriously, she must have allowed it.


Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you talked to your dd about what to do in these situations?  Maybe try some role paying with her to help her learn how to stand up for herself.


calsmom62
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this
i agree that your dd may not be resisting this child's "horseplay". shoes and socks are a bit hard to get off unless one is being somewhat compliant. is your child gullible or easily verbally outwitted? role play is a great idea as an earlier poster mentioned. .


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

This...Im assuming 2nd.grade? She should be able.to stand up for.herself.



How the heck did her socks and shoes get taken off?? Seriously, she must have allowed it.




Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you talked to your dd about what to do in these situations?  Maybe try some role paying with her to help her learn how to stand up for herself.



catevincesmom
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:28 PM
shes in 3d & Im trying to figure out how shoes & socks off. I do know that dd hates confrontation. She would tell her to stop, but wouldnt have the courage to do anything else. Esp if other person was pushing & hitting to get her way.


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

This...Im assuming 2nd.grade? She should be able.to stand up for.herself.



How the heck did her socks and shoes get taken off?? Seriously, she must have allowed it.




Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you talked to your dd about what to do in these situations?  Maybe try some role paying with her to help her learn how to stand up for herself.



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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:30 PM
6 moms liked this
Have you ever considered a martial arts class? They often teach anti-bullying skills and how to speak up for yourself.
catevincesmom
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:39 PM

As I told Jinx-troublex3, dd doesn't like confrontation.  She may say stop or no, but wouldn't go any further than that, esp if partner was hitting or pushing to get her way.  She is extremely shy & quiet.  And ty.  


Quoting calsmom62:

i agree that your dd may not be resisting this child's "horseplay". shoes and socks are a bit hard to get off unless one is being somewhat compliant. is your child gullible or easily verbally outwitted? role play is a great idea as an earlier poster mentioned. .


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

This...Im assuming 2nd.grade? She should be able.to stand up for.herself.



How the heck did her socks and shoes get taken off?? Seriously, she must have allowed it.




Quoting steelcrazy:

 Have you talked to your dd about what to do in these situations?  Maybe try some role paying with her to help her learn how to stand up for herself.




 

calsmom62
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:42 PM
10 moms liked this
there are simple things you can teach her at home. " Susie Seatmate, Please stop touching me!" in a clear loud voice. using the childs name clearly in a firm "no" context reduces susie seatmate's power because now she is worried adult eyes might be on her. if Susie Seatmate is hitting her teach your daughter to block and restrain(hold her arm or hand or push on her chest to keep her at arms length) rather than hit. and to say again "Susie Seatmate Do not hit me again!"" this usually alerts adult attention but. id say at the second attempt by Susie Seatmate to physically hurt your dd she should then stand up and tell the busdriver that she needs immediate help. if he tells her to sit down she should tell him her seat is not safe and she needs help and to calmly but firmly remain standing until he likely will pull over. you will have to assure your dd that you will stand behind her even if she is told she will receive a discipline notice .
Gabeys_Mommy
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:45 PM
1 mom liked this
That's bullcrap, I would be pissed. They need to change her seat, far away from the brat. If that doesn't work, perhaps look into another mom who could drive her for a small fee? I'd keep at them until they do something and drive her in the mean time. If also else fails, perhaps a chocolate bar with exlax? Kidding, of course...maybe. ;-)
catevincesmom
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:45 PM

 

Thank you so much. 

Quoting calsmom62:

there are simple things you can teach her at home. " Susie Seatmate, Please stop touching me!" in a clear loud voice. using the childs name clearly in a firm "no" context reduces susie seatmate's power because now she is worried adult eyes might be on her. if Susie Seatmate is hitting her teach your daughter to block and restrain(hold her arm or hand or push on her chest to keep her at arms length) rather than hit. and to say again "Susie Seatmate Do not hit me again!"" this usually alerts adult attention but. id say at the second attempt by Susie Seatmate to physically hurt your dd she should then stand up and tell the busdriver that she needs immediate help. if he tells her to sit down she should tell him her seat is not safe and she needs help and to calmly but firmly remain standing until he likely will pull over. you will have to assure your dd that you will stand behind her even if she is told she will receive a discipline notice .


 

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