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How do you handle behavior?

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:48 AM
  • 21 Replies

My kids have behavior charts in school. Both are different but are along the same lines, the color you go home with at the end of the day is what your behavior is (for instance youngest DD has green=great day, yellow=lost 5 min. recess, okay day, red, black so on). Last year in pre-k my youngest got in trouble ALL the time for back talking, not listening, refusing to clean up, etc. She would get punished at home with no t.v. no playing whatever worked. This year she has done perfectly. She had 3 straight weeks of all green and then one day she came home with a yellow and a note saying "was talking during class". I didn't punish her because all kids make that mistake, god knows DH and I did. She was also uspet enough that she would get in trouble. I told her that she wasn't grounded but she just needs to remember to make a better choice next time and always try hard to listen to the teacher and not talk while she is talking. She has yet to get anything but green since. Same with my oldest who went through pre-k and kindergarten without anything except a perfect score every day. She came home last week with a yellow because she shouted "Who wants a pencil? Get your free pencil here?" during the time they were supposed to be writing. She gets a little silly at times when she's excited and they were doing a fun activity. The teacher didn't punsih her at school, just wrote a note that said "was talking during class". She was told the same thing and has yet to have a problem.

DH thinks that getting a yellow is just the most unacceptable thing in the world and that they have to be perfect angels all the time. They're 5 and 6. They're going to talk, they're going to get in trouble. Just like they do at home. There are kids in these classes that just flat out are brats and I know some that get bad marks all the time. Not my kids because they're good and well behaved most of the time. So if it's for something minor like talking or being a little too loud they are just reminded to be calm and not to talk when someone else is talking. That's pretty much all it takes.

How do you handle it when your child gets a less than perfect behavior mark?

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:48 AM
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by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:02 AM
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Pretty much the same way.  I understand that kids cannot be perfect all the time.  I think you need to get your husband to realize that too.  Start nagging on him all the times he doesn't do things perfect around the house and when he complains, just tell him that if he expects a 5 and 6 y/o to be perfect all the time then certainly a grown man can be perfect all the time too.

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:13 AM

no way, i would treat the offenses according to the colors.  Yellow to me seems like it just needs a talk and reminder to make better choices where the worst color would mean grounding for a few days.

Our school to my knowledge does not use the color behavior chart even in kindergarten.  DD's first grade teacher would send home notes if she acted up to the extreme level at school or broke one of the rules.  She preferred to use positive reinforcement for behavior so when they were able to fill up a marble jar with good choices, they got a treat at end of week.

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:19 AM

I  take away all of his electronic gadgets. He has no access to television and computer for a week as long as my husband feels he deserve to be punish depend on what the color is.......  I usually give him a treat  when he is green.

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:19 AM

Our school actually hasn't adopted a behavior system yet other than a stamp on the hand before you leave to say the day went fine. I'm a little hard on my kids, I guess rough, when explaining what happens when they screw around in class or for other people. I basically break it down that they'll miss important lessons, pretty soon they'll fall behind if they do it too much, and then end up working at McDonald's the rest of their life... And add a little more details between there lol. I know that method isn't for everyone but, I personally like giving them the control and responsibility and its working so far. There's a time and a place for everything. I've also been fortunate so far to have teachers who don't allow any BS and immediately give the death glare to the students who act up... I think that helps. 

Sounds like the teacher may not be too in control. I have some friends with children in other classes who get in trouble A LOT. But I also know these other teachers and know they're not very consistent with letting the kids know whats not acceptable. And they just send the problem home to mom and dad rather than busting out the hard lines themselves.

by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:42 AM
Thank God we homeschool!

I had two boys that went to public school and it was hard trying to discipline them for something they did on someone else's time. While I wanted to support the teacher, the home should be a safe place. A place to relax and unwind after a busy day at school

I am VERY hard on my kids and expect great manners and behavior but more lax with "school". They tale breaks as they need them, they work at their own pace. I help and instruct as needed but leave their pace to them.
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:16 AM

I expect that there will be NO infractions at school and that's the results to this day that have been achieved.  My kids knew from a very early age that if they misbehaved anywhere in public or school that there would be serious consequences at home.  Poor behavior is not tolerated in my household and, therefore, has not been an issue.

by Jen on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:23 AM
My kiddos are so good at school, seriously wish I could get them to be the same way at home!

Today was my youngest dd first day of school. I'm not sure what I will do if she behaves badly in school. Hopefully we will not have to cross that bridge..
by Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:36 AM
my dd's school has a behavior system something like your child's only hers is set up green = ready to learn, yellow = good day, orange = great day, red = awsome job, blue = first warning (lose some recess time), purple = teachers choice (usually lose more recess time) and pink = parent contact.

So far my dd has been bringing home good marks. If she does bring home anything below green she is grounded from her video games, cartoons, and depending on the color some other things.
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:46 AM

Unless it starts to be a daily occurrence I just let them tell me what happened and ask them what they should have done instead.  i don't make an issue of it at all.

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:51 AM

We have a color chart @ our kids' school as well.  Gree, yellow, blue, red. . .anyway, when dd was in 1st grade, teacher reminded everyone @ open house that if kid was on yellow, she will tell why-but please keep in mind, they are kids & that the incident was already taken care of @ school.  Unless it's a constant thing, don't fret about it.  So,though my kids have always been on green, I kinda' agree w/ you. 

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