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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Hitting advice please

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM
  • 16 Replies

Ds just started third grade on the 26th. Yesterday he came home and told me a boy punched him in the stomach. He said the little boy had to write the rules and his parents had to sign something because he hit ds and went into another kids desk. Well today the same boy punched him in the back. Ds said the boy had to write the rules again today. This boy stands behind ds in line after lunch and this is when both incidents occured. When I asked ds why the boy hit him he says it was for no reason and out of no where. At this age that boy knows better then to hit someone else so there is no excuse for it. I'm not sure if I should call the school and talk to someone to see about getting one of the boys moved (as far as where they stand in line). My reaction is for ds to hit this boy back in the hopes that it will stop, however I don't want ds to get in trouble. I don't know that ds is completely innocent in the whole thing, but from what he has said this child seems to be a trouble maker (based on other things he has done in class). Plus if ds is doing something wrong I would like to know so I can correct the behavior at home. What would you do if it was your child?

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I would talk to the teacher about what is going on perhaps she can offer a witness perspective.   Maybe the child has behavioral issues and is not able to stand still and keep hands to self.  I would see the teacher could separate them during lunch time since that is when it occurs.

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:00 PM

If that's the case then the child should be in the front of the line near the teacher. I was thinking about asking the teacher that. I don't want to be a pain but I also don't want my child getting hit by another student.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would talk to the teacher about what is going on perhaps she can offer a witness perspective.   Maybe the child has behavioral issues and is not able to stand still and keep hands to self.  I would see the teacher could separate them during lunch time since that is when it occurs.



frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I totally understand.  Regardless of any possible issues, the child should be by teacher or an aide for supervision so that no other classmates are bothered while waiting.

Quoting cjsmom1:

If that's the case then the child should be in the front of the line near the teacher. I was thinking about asking the teacher that. I don't want to be a pain but I also don't want my child getting hit by another student.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I would talk to the teacher about what is going on perhaps she can offer a witness perspective.   Maybe the child has behavioral issues and is not able to stand still and keep hands to self.  I would see the teacher could separate them during lunch time since that is when it occurs.




bcauseimthemom
by Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Why not contact the teacher??  If you don't how do you think this will get solved?  I know that the first time, any one of my children would have decked him in return... even my daughter.

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:14 AM

We told him to always tell the teacher the first two times, after that he is supposed to hit back. My concern is that he'll be the one to end up getting in trouble. I know a child who was bullied daily and he got suspended when he finally hit the kid back. I don't want ds to get in trouble.

Quoting bcauseimthemom:

Why not contact the teacher??  If you don't how do you think this will get solved?  I know that the first time, any one of my children would have decked him in return... even my daughter.



janitablue
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 11:40 AM


My husband and I believe in hitting back the child especially if the other child hit first . You need a piece of mind for you and your child. I would set up meeting or pull the teacher aside to see if can resolve this issue.  No child deserve to be hit for no apparent reason IF the child has behavior problems the teacher needs to know to protect the students and your son.

Quoting cjsmom1:

We told him to always tell the teacher the first two times, after that he is supposed to hit back. My concern is that he'll be the one to end up getting in trouble. I know a child who was bullied daily and he got suspended when he finally hit the kid back. I don't want ds to get in trouble.

Quoting bcauseimthemom:

Why not contact the teacher??  If you don't how do you think this will get solved?  I know that the first time, any one of my children would have decked him in return... even my daughter.






Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 1:26 PM
1 mom liked this

First, you make it clear that this child isn't to be near your son any longer--not in the classroom, not in line, nowhere.  

It is up to the teachers and staff to ensure your son's safety.  Hold them accountable and make sure they know that any incidents need to be reported to you before the end of the school day by a staff member, not by your son.

Also make it clear to your son that the moment this boy so much as breathes on him that he create a ruckus.  Make sure your son understands that even if the school authority figures say he is in trouble, he WILL NOT be in trouble with you.

You need to be your son's advocate firmly and quickly.

I'm curious what you think your son might be doing to justify getting hit...

adi29
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 2:05 PM
Talk to the teacher or talk to the principal.
Your son should be able to go to school without being hit by another child.
If that was my child being hit,he would be hit back. Self defense
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 3:04 PM
I called and left the teacher a message and am waiting to hear back from her. Ds told his teacher right away. Ds said they are in the same group so they sit near each other. I thought maybe ds said something to the kid and he didn't like it, maybe they were arguing, etc. I hate to think this child hits people out of no where.


Quoting Roo1234:

First, you make it clear that this child isn't to be near your son any longer--not in the classroom, not in line, nowhere.  

It is up to the teachers and staff to ensure your son's safety.  Hold them accountable and make sure they know that any incidents need to be reported to you before the end of the school day by a staff member, not by your son.

Also make it clear to your son that the moment this boy so much as breathes on him that he create a ruckus.  Make sure your son understands that even if the school authority figures say he is in trouble, he WILL NOT be in trouble with you.

You need to be your son's advocate firmly and quickly.

I'm curious what you think your son might be doing to justify getting hit...


clairewait
by Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 4:01 PM

Omigosh.

The teacher in me is wondering how in the world this happened once, let alone twice.

I mean I get it. Kids are dumb and do dumb things when they think no one is looking.

But if it was handled at all correctly (and if this teacher was more effective) it would not be happening again.

I taught high school. The one and only thing I worried about was providing security in my classroom. This is a huge deal to me. And if it was my child, I'd be getting to the bottom of it.

Maybe your child isn't innocent, like you said. But how are you suppsed to help when you have no idea what is going on?

I just keep thinking, again as a TEACHER, what would have happened to me had something like this gone on in my classroom. I mean, parents in my school didn't put up with it. Stuff in hallways and the lunchroom was one thing (it was high school afterall). But under the direct attention of a teacher? I think I would have been called in front of my boss and had to explain myself.

And, for the record, I'm not saying the fault is on the teacher. I'm in the teacher's corner. But I fully agree with PP who said it is teacher's job to ensure safety. Something is largely wrong with the environment if this is happening, and that teacher needs to be held accountable. I can't believe she didn't make personal contact with you the first time it happened. An email. Anything. I mean, we covered our butts three times over, and physical problems like this were dealt with immediately and completely. (The kid who hit would have been suspended the first time. Not writing lines. Our public school took everything seriously because parents sort of forced us to.)

Claire Wait

My blog: TheUnderToad.com

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