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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Candy Problem *Edit with how we handled it*

Posted by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:26 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

My sons have two brothers that they are good friends with and hang out every day. The other family lives across the street and the boys come and go between houses every day/all day/night. I have never been strict about food. My kids can eat whatever they want when they want. I believe in natural consequences so it only took one time for the kids to eat too much candy, etc. when they were younger, get sick, to limit how much they consume. The neighbors, however, are health conscious and allow no sugar in their house. They do not, however, monitor them outside of their home. 

I discovered my son and one of theirs with a couple of bags of Halloween candy. I didn't think much of it at the time. I then asked my son where it came from and he said that they (the boys) had stopped and bought it when they rode their bikes to the ice cream parlor last night. It then dawned on me that my son was "holding" it for his friend who isn't supposed to have it. My son confirmed this tonight at dinner. These boys are 11-12. How would you handle this? I'm interested in responses. After a few I will share what we did.


**Edit**

Most of you were pretty close and STVUstudent hit the nail on the head!  My husband and I explained that it put us in an awkward position, and although we don't care what you eat, the other parents do and we have to respect this.  We had our son let the kids know that they could not stash their booty at our house.  We also talked about drugs, which of course then my kids thought I had lost my mind.  They didn't really buy into "first stashing chocolate, then stashing pot", but our point got across.  It's all about communication and respect. 

by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:38 PM

I would talk o the other parents about hteir limits. Coe up wit hhow much is allowed when out visiting.

Karen_S
by Bronze Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 11:50 PM

I would probably talk to the other parents, too. I'd bring it up in a more general way, such as "I know you don't eat much candy at home, so I was wondering if you were OK with them having some at my house?  If the kids buy junk food coming home from school, is that OK?' and kinda steering the conversation from there, instead of jumping right into "your kid is hoarding candy at my house"

fanniesmom
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 12:14 AM
2 moms liked this

Hmm... this is an interesting one! I suppose I would discuss it with my DS to make sure they understand that they're taking part in lying and undermining the trust between the parents and their kids. I would imagine that they probably believe that the rule is unjust and silly and that breaking it is harmless -- I'd like them to see that the bigger issue is the sneaking around. Ultimately, I'd let them decide whether they wanted to continue taking part (I wouldn't get involved), but I'd like to give them food for thought. If they took it to heart, ideally they'd try to convince their friends to outright object to the rule rather than surreptitiously breaking it (which is the lesson I'd like my own DCs to come away with -- argue their case rather than go behind my back).


tnwp21
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 12:31 AM

He  is obviously limiting his consumption as there is still a whole bag, I'd have my son tell him I found it and he would have to hide his stash in another place and let it go, its candy so I wouldn't tell, but I also wouldn't allow my house to be a place to stash, as this could cause problems in future.

 

 

jaytee
by Jen on Sep. 16, 2013 at 7:26 AM
Hmm...

I'd not sure what I'd do. I'm a firm believer that if you don't allow something at all it makes it more of a temptation.

I'd talk to the parents and see how they feel about your son having a stash for theirs
steelcage
by Bronze Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 7:33 AM

If they don't monitor them outside the home then what's the problem? 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 7:46 AM

 I would probably have a conversation with my child about being deceitful, and let it go from there.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 8:24 AM


I also agree with this!!  Kids who are forbidden to have things go bananas when it's available.

Quoting jaytee:

Hmm...

I'd not sure what I'd do. I'm a firm believer that if you don't allow something at all it makes it more of a temptation.

I'd talk to the parents and see how they feel about your son having a stash for theirs



mjande4
by Platinum Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 8:26 AM

The neighbor boys are clearly hiding their stash, which they aren't supposed have, at my house.  When I said that they weren't monitored, their mother knows that they have sweets from time to time at other homes, but I am sure it didn't occur to her that they would stash an entire Halloween bag at someone else's house.

Quoting steelcage:

If they don't monitor them outside the home then what's the problem? 



SaraBethKY
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:49 AM

If you did decide you wanted to talk to the parents I think this would be a good way to bring it up. If you know the parents are ok with the boys having treats elsewhere and they don't seem to be going overboard I would consider not bringing it up at all. I think it's funny that they figured out a way around the rule at their house by "holding" it at yours haha. Desperate times call for desperate measures :)

Quoting Karen_S:

I would probably talk to the other parents, too. I'd bring it up in a more general way, such as "I know you don't eat much candy at home, so I was wondering if you were OK with them having some at my house?  If the kids buy junk food coming home from school, is that OK?' and kinda steering the conversation from there, instead of jumping right into "your kid is hoarding candy at my house"


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