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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Tips for making friends?

Posted by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 4:24 AM
  • 10 Replies
My son started second grade today.... :) hoping for a better year. He has the same classmates and same teacher....

A problem, he has 1 friend among 27 classmates. He is a people person. I am trying to give him some tips for making new friends.... Any ideas?
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by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 4:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 5:03 AM

How does he approach his classmates?  DD is starting 2nd grade as well but only has a few friends.  I am not worried about it since she will nearly talk to anyone that will include her.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 7:49 AM

 Remind him to ask others about their day, life, etc instead of talking about himself right from the start.  This is a hard one for kids to learn.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 8:40 AM

Does play sports? Have an extra curricular activities?  This is the top way to make friends.  My kids hang out with kids who are in the same activities/church/sports that they are.

mommybug77
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 9:40 AM
Make sure he gives people space, no one wants to feel smothered.
Coloradogirl026
by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 10:35 AM

My daughter just started second grade at a new school, and we had to talk about how to make friends, too, so I completely understand where you're coming from.  I don't know if it'll work for you, but we "practiced" how to make friends.  My DD would talk to me as if she were meeting a girl for the first time.  I taught her some introductory phrases like, "Hi!  I'm new.  Can I play with you at recess?"  We also rehearsed asking to sit with someone at lunch. 

Also, I realized that my daughter didn't really know how to compromise.  When making new friends, my daughter often said that she didn't want to play with someone, because he/she didn't want to play what she wanted to play.  We had to talk through the fact that sometimes you have to play games, etc. that you might not want to in order to make friends, and that those friends will likely want to do a few things that she wants to do in the future.  It took several conversations, but it seemed to work.  Now if she can just remember her friends' names... HA!

On a different note, since you're at the same school, maybe you could arrange some playdates with kids in his class.  Have you gotten to know any parents from his class that you could set up some outings at a park, etc? 

Oh, and one more suggestion from my experience.  Every time my daughter got invited to a birthday party, I took her.  At first I had been more selective, and she wasn't getting invited, so that really cut down on a lot of social time.  But as I started saying yes and taking her to them, she started building more friendships (This was last year, at her old school.).  For some of those parties, only 2-3 kids showed up, so it really gave my daughter a chance to play with and build friendships with them.  Those kids became her "friends" at school. 

Hope this helps, and I pray your son finds a couple of really great friends soon!

Dodie702
by Doriane on Sep. 16, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Be kind and try to find common interests with others so they have something to talk about.
aetrom
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Thank you for advice.... He is very outgoing and typically makes 1-2 friends anywhere he goes. He is in extra curricular and makes friends except for one other situation...

I will work with him on some of your suggestions; they were helpful and we will keep trying!
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kmrtigger
by Kandice on Sep. 16, 2013 at 2:56 PM

Role play on how to ask a kid to play at recess or other things.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Sep. 16, 2013 at 2:58 PM

Tons of great tips in here. Thanks for sharing. :)

Quoting Coloradogirl026:

My daughter just started second grade at a new school, and we had to talk about how to make friends, too, so I completely understand where you're coming from.  I don't know if it'll work for you, but we "practiced" how to make friends.  My DD would talk to me as if she were meeting a girl for the first time.  I taught her some introductory phrases like, "Hi!  I'm new.  Can I play with you at recess?"  We also rehearsed asking to sit with someone at lunch. 

Also, I realized that my daughter didn't really know how to compromise.  When making new friends, my daughter often said that she didn't want to play with someone, because he/she didn't want to play what she wanted to play.  We had to talk through the fact that sometimes you have to play games, etc. that you might not want to in order to make friends, and that those friends will likely want to do a few things that she wants to do in the future.  It took several conversations, but it seemed to work.  Now if she can just remember her friends' names... HA!

On a different note, since you're at the same school, maybe you could arrange some playdates with kids in his class.  Have you gotten to know any parents from his class that you could set up some outings at a park, etc? 

Oh, and one more suggestion from my experience.  Every time my daughter got invited to a birthday party, I took her.  At first I had been more selective, and she wasn't getting invited, so that really cut down on a lot of social time.  But as I started saying yes and taking her to them, she started building more friendships (This was last year, at her old school.).  For some of those parties, only 2-3 kids showed up, so it really gave my daughter a chance to play with and build friendships with them.  Those kids became her "friends" at school. 

Hope this helps, and I pray your son finds a couple of really great friends soon!


mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 4:00 PM

try inviting someone over to play at your house afterschool.

Exchange phone numbers. He just needs to learn to say "want to hang out?" and then follow through when he has a new friend's phone number.

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