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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

A Culture of Victims: Bullying

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 1:37 PM
Max
  • 57 Replies
4 moms liked this

A post in another groups got me thinking about bullying on CM. 

I find some of the behavior in some of the groups to be abhorrent. Some of the women on this site seem focused on doing nothing more than belittling other moms. 

That said, I take issue with the accusation that moms on here get bullied. 

By definition bullying has two aspects:

  • An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
  • Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once

How can there possibly be an imbalance of power between two anonymous people online? No one on this site has any power over me at all. 

If at some point I somehow felt that someone did have influence or power over me and I was being mistreated I would never to choose to continue interacting with that person. In fact, the one time I had a member harassing me for a period of time I ignored her completely until she gave up. Not only was it not bothering me, I found it kind of amusing that a grown woman behaved in that way.

If someone in a specific group is bothering a member there are hundreds of groups on the site. And if that fails, I do not have to come to CM. Why would anyone continue using a website if they were being traumatized while they are on it?

I am concerned about the trend I see that we are becoming a culture of victims. If someone online is bullying an adult they have total control over stopping it. I am worry about future generations who aren't being taught to advocate for themselves and solve their own problems. If today's mothers would allow them selves to be mistreated, how will their children learn otherwise?

by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 1:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 1:47 PM
4 moms liked this
It's the most overused and misused term there is. We have an entire generation unable to problem solve and now they are raising a generation with the same handicap.
Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 1:52 PM
4 moms liked this

Picking on a child is not necessarily bullying. Too many people use the terms interchangeably. 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 3:51 PM
7 moms liked this

 I agree 100% with you.  If I disagree with someone, I will speak up.  If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.  There is no need to get your panties in a bunch over someone disagreeing with you.  Yes, I am opinionated and have no problem sharing my opinion.  This is why CM is here, to share advice and opinions.  If we all felt the same way, CM would be really boring.

PS - I can't stand this generation of victims who whine over every little thing.  Grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your children.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Sep. 29, 2013 at 3:52 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting steelcrazy:

 I agree 100% with you.  If I disagree with someone, I will speak up.  If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.  There is no need to get your panties in a bunch over someone disagreeing with you.  Yes, I am opinionated and have no problem sharing my opinion.  This is why CM is here, to share advice and opinions.  If we all felt the same way, CM would be really boring.

No kidding


tnwp21
by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 4:26 PM
3 moms liked this

Wow,

There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.

I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.

Stay strong in your own way!

wearing crown

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Sep. 29, 2013 at 4:49 PM
2 moms liked this

Who is pushing an agenda down someone's throat? I made a post about my own opinion just like many other posts in this forum. I am asking sincere questions to gain insight as to why people who claim this site is full of bullies would return to it. 

I agree people deserve support and I am polite in my replies even when I disagree with people. Others are not. But being treated in a rude manner online is not being bullied. The world isn't full of kind only kind and polite people. When you go online you are opening yourself up to all kinds of people. 

Quoting tnwp21:

Wow,

There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.

I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.

Stay strong in your own way!

wearing crown


tnwp21
by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 I was speaking of what I have experienced on this site, this was not a personal attack on you, sorry you thought it was.  In the matter of bullying, there are as many definitions as there are people and if you feel you have been are being bullied, than that's your opinion and you are entitled to it.  When I drive, I may have contend with road rage, however, I am not going to walk, just because I know it's out there and I am not going to take responsibility for it, because it exists, as I didn't open myself up to it because I chose to drive.

Just an opinion.

 

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Who is pushing an agenda down someone's throat? I made a post about my own opinion just like many other posts in this forum. I am asking sincere questions to gain insight as to why people who claim this site is full of bullies would return to it. 

I agree people deserve support and I am polite in my replies even when I disagree with people. Others are not. But being treated in a rude manner online is not being bullied. The world isn't full of kind only kind and polite people. When you go online you are opening yourself up to all kinds of people. 

Quoting tnwp21:

Wow,

There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.

I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.

Stay strong in your own way!

wearing crown


 

 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Sep. 29, 2013 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm confused. 

I don't think I'm being bullied. On the contrary, I think moms who complain they are being bullied need to take charge of the situation rather than complain about it. 

And there really aren't multiple definitions of bullying. It's a word with a strict definition like any other. It's just misused more often than most words. 

Quoting tnwp21:

 I was speaking of what I have experienced on this site, this was not a personal attack on you, sorry you thought it was.  In the matter of bullying, there are as many definitions as there are people and if you feel you have been are being bullied, than that's your opinion and you are entitled to it.  When I drive, I may have contend with road rage, however, I am not going to walk, just because I know it's out there and I am not going to take responsibility for it, because it exists, as I didn't open myself up to it because I chose to drive.

Just an opinion.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Who is pushing an agenda down someone's throat? I made a post about my own opinion just like many other posts in this forum. I am asking sincere questions to gain insight as to why people who claim this site is full of bullies would return to it. 

I agree people deserve support and I am polite in my replies even when I disagree with people. Others are not. But being treated in a rude manner online is not being bullied. The world isn't full of kind only kind and polite people. When you go online you are opening yourself up to all kinds of people. 

Quoting tnwp21:

Wow,

There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.

I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.

Stay strong in your own way!

wearing crown





tnwp21
by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 5:10 PM

 confusedAgain, I am not speaking of you personally, nor do I think you are being bullied, nor do I believe there is only one definition of bullying, however, there may only be one defination in the dictionary or text (in a book), which may vary, depending on what edition and how old it is.


Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I'm confused. 

I don't think I'm being bullied. On the contrary, I think moms who complain they are being bullied need to take charge of the situation rather than complain about it. 

And there really aren't multiple definitions of bullying. It's a word with a strict definition like any other. It's just misused more often than most words. 

Quoting tnwp21:

 I was speaking of what I have experienced on this site, this was not a personal attack on you, sorry you thought it was.  In the matter of bullying, there are as many definitions as there are people and if you feel you have been are being bullied, than that's your opinion and you are entitled to it.  When I drive, I may have contend with road rage, however, I am not going to walk, just because I know it's out there and I am not going to take responsibility for it, because it exists, as I didn't open myself up to it because I chose to drive.

Just an opinion.

 

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Who is pushing an agenda down someone's throat? I made a post about my own opinion just like many other posts in this forum. I am asking sincere questions to gain insight as to why people who claim this site is full of bullies would return to it. 

I agree people deserve support and I am polite in my replies even when I disagree with people. Others are not. But being treated in a rude manner online is not being bullied. The world isn't full of kind only kind and polite people. When you go online you are opening yourself up to all kinds of people. 

Quoting tnwp21:

Wow,

There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.

I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.

Stay strong in your own way!

wearing crown


 

 



 

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 5:36 PM
1 mom liked this
That's one of the points- there ARE NOT many definitions of what bullying is. People use the term "bullying" when it's not bullying. All words have specific meanings. Obviously, some words have multiple meanings but people cannot make up a meaning to whatever word they want. It doesn't work that way and suggesting such makes no sense either.


Quoting tnwp21:

 confusedAgain, I am not speaking of you personally, nor do I think you are being bullied, nor do I believe there is only one definition of bullying, however, there may only be one defination in the dictionary or text (in a book), which may vary, depending on what edition and how old it is.




Quoting maxswolfsuit:


I'm confused. 


I don't think I'm being bullied. On the contrary, I think moms who complain they are being bullied need to take charge of the situation rather than complain about it. 


And there really aren't multiple definitions of bullying. It's a word with a strict definition like any other. It's just misused more often than most words. 


Quoting tnwp21:


 I was speaking of what I have experienced on this site, this was not a personal attack on you, sorry you thought it was.  In the matter of bullying, there are as many definitions as there are people and if you feel you have been are being bullied, than that's your opinion and you are entitled to it.  When I drive, I may have contend with road rage, however, I am not going to walk, just because I know it's out there and I am not going to take responsibility for it, because it exists, as I didn't open myself up to it because I chose to drive.


Just an opinion.


 


Quoting maxswolfsuit:


Who is pushing an agenda down someone's throat? I made a post about my own opinion just like many other posts in this forum. I am asking sincere questions to gain insight as to why people who claim this site is full of bullies would return to it. 


I agree people deserve support and I am polite in my replies even when I disagree with people. Others are not. But being treated in a rude manner online is not being bullied. The world isn't full of kind only kind and polite people. When you go online you are opening yourself up to all kinds of people. 


Quoting tnwp21:


Wow,


There is more than one defination of bullying, that is just one.  There are a lot of women on this sight looking for encouragement, understanding, kindness, consideration and help.  They come from all walks of life and have various life experiences.  There are moms who are attacked for their opinions here and are often silenced by the opinionated.  I had a lady keep on with one discussion and I told her I was finished with the discussion.  There are many sites, but why should anyone have to abandon a site they like, because someone else is being obnoxious.  We are not a culture of victims, we are a culture of strength in the face of adversity and just because someone gets out their steam roller and tries to run over you, doesn't make you a victim.  Pushing your agenda down someone elses throat is controlling at its worst.  I don't know about the other moms, but I am NOT going to teach my son to be controlling or intollerant, I am going to teach him not to start fights, verbal, emotional or physical, but it ok to finish them if you have to.


I am sorry if anyone feels they have been hurt by aggressive behavior, we all deserve love and respect and those who don't believe in it are missing out.


Stay strong in your own way!


wearing crown




 


 






 


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