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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

how to build confidence?

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 8:31 AM
  • 13 Replies
My dd is 6 and small for her age and quiet at school. It's great that she's so good at school and she's really smart. The only thing I'm concerned about is when she gets older. I don't want her to be shy, be susceptible to bullying and miss out on making friends and experiencing stuff like i did growing up. Any ideas? Tried dancing but she didn't want to do that anymore
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 8:31 AM
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mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

You were on the right track with the dancing.  She needs an extracurricular activity/sport or two to excel at.  I would consider another sport, Girl Scouts, community theater, and/or church. Good luck!

JC2223
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

 Any extra curricular activity would help her build confidence, see if there are any others she would want to try. There are really great books out there to that you can read with her and help her find her confidence. American Girl books have a wide variety of books that deal with the body, feelings, liking themselves, relationships with friends, etc. Check them out first because they are for girls a little older than your DD. I started reading them with my DD when she was about 7 1/2. Also, can you volunteer at her school, mainly in her class? My DD loves that I volunteer in her class. It helps me get to know her classmates and the kids seem to interact with her more because they know me. Something as simple as seeing a classmate in the hall and saying "hi" to them...DD will come home from school and tell me "So-in-so told me at recess that they saw you in the hall today, then we went to play on the swings". For some reason a child she normally doesn't interact with will have a reason to approach her and sometimes it gives them a starting point to get to know each other more.

Barabell
by Barbara on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:41 AM


Quoting mjande4:

You were on the right track with the dancing.  She needs an extracurricular activity/sport or two to excel at.  I would consider another sport, Girl Scouts, community theater, and/or church. Good luck!

I agree with this.

I've seen some recent articles lately saying girls that grow up active in sports have more confidence and a better image of their body typically than girls who aren't active in a sport.

Since she is small for her age, I would consider some kind of martial art.

mcginnisc
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 12:46 PM
An extra curricular activity such as Karate will do a lot for her. My oldest dd was shy when she was younger. We enrolled her in Karate 3 months after she turned 4. She will be 8 in a month and her confidence is through the roof after taking Karate for almost 4 years. in addition to being more self confident,she is more responsible at home,and has learned how yo defend herself if she needs to do so.It has helped my youngest as well. She is 5 and is learning self discipline which she needed as she is more impulsive than her older sister. I honestly cannot say enough about how awesome Martial Arts are for kids. We spend a lot on it,but it has been so worth it.
RSass
by Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I am not sure you can build confidence.  I think its almost a personality trait - like some people are confident even though they really have no reason to be.    I am not one of those people.  I do agree that its a good idea to expose your kids to sports, arts, etc - because your DD may find something that she LOVES.  I would try to take your cues from your daughter, being careful and quiet does not necessarily equate to an unhappy life.  If however she is anxious and wants to make friends and feels like she has no friends  - then she would benefit from a little gentle pushes to be more daring.

reenasam01
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:58 PM

Are you sure your child lacks confidence ? Second I was a shy child but never felt alone. You will be very surprised how I stood up to my bullies and took care of others too. I have no problem to take care of myself career wise or to succeed in any manner ....but if her quietness is an obstacle then she needs help.... 

waytomanykids10
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 2:35 PM

 My 8 year old was very shy and quiet when we adopted her at the age of 6. She started soccer and basketball, that really helped her come out of her shell. She is now very outgoing and not afraid to stand up for herself. My step daughter, age 24, has started teaching my kids martial arts, that has helped all of them out greatly.

Impressionists
by Bronze Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM
We have 4 elementary schools in our town. Everyone in Girl Scouts goes to a different elementary, so dd doesn't fit in completely. Still, she loves to go and we talked about how they're all bff's already. She doesn't stop trying, which makes me really proud of her. I'm the opposite. I would just give your daughter different experiences, even if they don't involve other kids very much - like swimming wouldn't. My dd is comfortable in most situations. I think it is just because she has been exposed to so much.
meam4444
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:00 PM
You could try an extracurricular if you think that would help. Otherwise, I would keep communication open with her and support that way too.
Tx_stepmom
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:46 PM

I was going to suggest Martial Arts.  My SS is very shy and withdrawn.  Emotionally, he's younger than his actual age.  We tried bowling, because he liked it.  He saw that his teammates were better and had constant meltdowns.  Martial Arts helped him.  

Quoting Barabell:


Quoting mjande4:

You were on the right track with the dancing.  She needs an extracurricular activity/sport or two to excel at.  I would consider another sport, Girl Scouts, community theater, and/or church. Good luck!

I agree with this.

I've seen some recent articles lately saying girls that grow up active in sports have more confidence and a better image of their body typically than girls who aren't active in a sport.

Since she is small for her age, I would consider some kind of martial art.


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