10 year old meltdown, what would you do? Updated in red.
I am the mom of 3 kids only one of which is still at home. She is 10 and in 5TH grade. She had a meltdown this afternoon right after school. She asked to go to the book fair and I told her no, we would go tomorrow since I walked to the school and didn't have my purse. No point in going if we didn't have any money. She said she wanted to go anyway to look. I toldher I was tired and we would go tomorrow. She then yelled rather loudly " I want to go!" Well a teacher was nearby and yelled back at her on the megaphone something I didn't quite understand but it sounded like "Please save the yelling for.......... ........ especially someone that loves you..........................." Then the teacher was watching us. I have never had this happen before. I felt really embarrassed and didn't know how to react or correct the behavior. After this I started walking and my daughter then told me she hated me and proceeded to try to kick me in the shin. When I moved and she missed she tried to push me back towards the school. I kept trying to walk forward with her pushing me. I'm still a bit stronger than her so I was able to make a slow progress away from the school towards home. The whole time I was aware of the teacher watching. This went on all the way home. I went into my room and locked the door while she pounded on it and yelled how much she hated me, wished I wasn't her mother, etc. etc. after awhile she was quiet and I came out and started a load of laundry and ignored her when she spoke to me. after about 20 minutes, she started saying she was sorry in a whinny tone and "please talk to me mommy". I finally sat her down and this is what I said......
We sat down and talked about her behavior. I asked her if she really wanted another mother and she said no. I told her that she hurt my feelings and was very disrespectful and unappreciative of all the things I do for her and made her list everything she knew I did for her on a daily basis. I then had her tell me how things would be if I were to go away. She lost computer privileges and she can't go into her room until bedtime which means no tvbut for whatever I am watching. She can read or do homework. I didn't take her to the book fair as we had planned. She seemed very remorseful and was calm and well behaved the rest of the day but I noticed she was warm when she hugged me so I took her temp and she was running a fever. I don't know if that has any significance.
I didn't have enough time to finish this when I started yesterday.
Help? How can I deal with this if it happens again?