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10 year old meltdown, what would you do? Updated in red.

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:11 PM
  • 16 Replies

 I am the mom of 3 kids only one of which is still at home. She is 10 and in 5TH grade. She had a meltdown this afternoon right after school. She asked to go to the book fair and I told her no, we would go tomorrow since I walked to the school and didn't have my purse. No point in going if we didn't have any money. She said she wanted to go anyway to look. I toldher I was tired and we would go tomorrow. She then yelled rather loudly " I want to go!" Well a teacher was nearby and yelled back at her on the megaphone something I didn't quite understand but it sounded like "Please save the yelling for.......... ........ especially someone that loves you..........................." Then the teacher was watching us. I have never had this happen before. I felt really embarrassed and didn't know how to react or correct the behavior. After this I started walking and my daughter then told me she hated me and proceeded to try to kick me in the shin. When I moved and she missed she tried to push me back towards the school. I kept trying to walk forward with her pushing me. I'm still a bit stronger than her so I was able to make a slow progress away from the school towards home. The whole time I was aware of the teacher watching. This went on all the way home. I went into my room and locked the door while she pounded on it and yelled how much she hated me, wished  I wasn't her mother, etc. etc. after awhile she was quiet and I came out and started a load of laundry and ignored her when she spoke to me. after about 20 minutes, she started saying she was sorry in a whinny tone and "please talk to me mommy". I finally sat her down and this is what I said......

 We sat down and talked about her behavior. I asked her if she really wanted another mother and she said no. I told her that she hurt my feelings and was very disrespectful and unappreciative of all the things I do for her and made her list everything she knew I did for her on a daily basis. I then had her tell me how things would be if I were to go away. She lost computer privileges and she can't go into her room until bedtime which means no tvbut for whatever I am watching. She can read or do homework. I didn't take her to the book fair  as we had planned.  She seemed very remorseful and was calm and well behaved the rest of the day but I noticed she was warm when she hugged me so I took her temp and she was running a fever. I don't know if that has any significance.

I didn't have enough time to finish this when I started yesterday.

 Help? How can I deal with this if it happens again?

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Does she have a history of mental illness or behavioral issues?  Most kids, particularly that age, would not act like this in front of their peers.  Her kicking you is disturbing.  I would guess that she was beginning puberty, BUT the assaulting you is not a symptom.  The meltdown is.  I would, if she isn't already, get her in some counseling ASAP.

almburr
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I would say. The way you acted was not acceptable. I told you that we would go to the book fair tomorrow. But with the way you acted we will not be going now.
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:34 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm sorry but I would have kicked her butt.right there in front of God and everyone. The secondy my child physically attacked me they would.be in a restraint hold until they calmed down and stopped fighting even if it meant someone called the cops!

She would be seeing a therapist tomorrow, and writing a letter of apology.

People.on here so often cite puberty hormones. Bullshit! Puberty.or not would you have EVER tried that crap on your parents? Hell no!
Jessiejack
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:49 PM

I think you handled it the right way. I would not allow her to go to the book fair at all. I would also be giving early bed time tonight. 

littlecheifsmom
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this & would have grounded her & spanked her. No way as a kid would I ever gotten away with this.
Second I would approach the teacher and tell her to never do that again. There was zero tack in the way she handled that. It was non of her business, she should have stayed quite.


Quoting almburr:

Well I would say. The way you acted was not acceptable. I told you that we would go to the book fair tomorrow. But with the way you acted we will not be going now.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM
2 moms liked this

I can't believe how many of you think that just not going to the book fair is sufficient punishment for attacking Mom. WOW!

This is exactly why society is going down the toilet!

mollymolly
by New Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:36 PM


Yeah, I agree that the teacher just made things worse, even though I'm sure she didn't mean to.  When people stare in a judgmental way at a parent who is struggling with a misbehaving child, they just burden the parent that much more.  The energy we should be able to spend on how to handle the kid is being used to deal with embarrassment, confusion, etc.  

If your child has never acted this way before, you might want to investigate what's going on with her.  If you can see your way to get her into therapy, that might be a good way to find out what's going on.  I'm sorry for what you're going through.  It sounds like you handled it great, though.  I would just add that I would ground my daughter from seeing any friends or going anywhere for at least two days.  I have had my son write out 50 times, "I will treat my mom with respect." at different times.  I do emphasize to my kids that they need to show respect to me and their dad.  Good luck to you. 

Quoting littlecheifsmom:

I agree with this & would have grounded her & spanked her. No way as a kid would I ever gotten away with this.
Second I would approach the teacher and tell her to never do that again. There was zero tack in the way she handled that. It was non of her business, she should have stayed quite.


Quoting almburr:

Well I would say. The way you acted was not acceptable. I told you that we would go to the book fair tomorrow. But with the way you acted we will not be going now.



Bleacher-mom
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Um, wow! Has she shown behavior like that before? I would doubt that this is the very first time she has acted this way.

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:53 PM

My 8 year old had a melt down the other day.  I'm 99% sure it was a side effect of his asthma medication, as that is the only time he acts like a beast and it's a common side effect we have dealt with before.  However, mine flipped the coffee table (he was trying to push it and it got caught but still) and proceeded to attempt to leg sweep me when I took the coffee table away (in my  house if you throw something, you lose it, so I took it away lol).

No.  Absolutely not.  For starters, I found an anger management workbook that I printed out that he had to do before he was allowed to set foot in the karate school this week (that is afterschool care for him so I can't eliminate it completely).  He had to write me 2 paragraphs on what he did wrong and why it was wrong.  And he has no life for the next week... no electronics, the only thing he can do for entertainment is read books or do homework, and he is on community service at karate school meaning while the other kids are practicing he is scrubbing the mats.  One of his karate instructors showed me the pressure points to push to stop him dead in his tracks and how to restrain him if necessary.  I have a zero tolerance policy for violence at home.  It's one thing to stand up for yourself to a bully, it's another to become violent in your home because you are pissed about discipline.

Cherish77
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:54 PM

My daughter would be grounded for at least 2 weeks, and sure as hell would not be going to the book fair.  My  parents would have whipped my ass if I pulled that.

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