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taking ds off his medicane.. punishment?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:31 PM
  • 18 Replies
Ok so ds just got put on meds for adhd about two weeks ago. hes in kindergarten so everyday he has a chart green=good yellow=had some warnings and red=bad. before the meds he was alwasys getting yellows or reds but once he got on it hes had a green EVERYDAY. his dad is completly against the meds so he set up an apt. to talk to the doctor and had me agree to take him off for two weeks to see how he does. ok fine this way i can show he really does need them but my question is when/if he gets a red or yellow should i punish him like i use to or let it kinda slide cuz i knoq its not all his fault?
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JoanahLee
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:41 PM
6 moms liked this

There is SO much wrong with this. 

1) Do not take your child on and off his medication on a whim. Unless the doctor instructed you to take him off for two weeks, don't do it. I am very against medicating kids for ADD and ADHD, but if you are going to put them on meds, you have to allow them to regulate.  Depending on which drug he is taking it could take the entire two weeks to flush it out of his system, and a few more hard weeks to get him back to levelizedagain.  Stopping a behavior drug for two weeks after only taking it for two weeks is a bad idea. 

2) Are you married to/in a relationship with dad?  Either way, why was the conversation about him having a serious problem with medication not had before he started the pills?

3)The worst thing you can do for your son is take him off his meds, watch him misbehave, and then pat him on the head and say "Its not your fault son, I know you can't behave well without medication."   Thats setting him up for life long dependency. 

zadesmom1998
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I did this with ds now 15. My mom was completely against medication and stopped talking to me not ds for 3 months. Got a progress report before doing so. Got one after and showed her those meds helped. I would still hold him accountable just not quite as strict. Instead of losing video games for the night or no hour of tv that day he lost video games for 30 min or only 30 min of tv. Kwim
MamaLauri
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Although there are often good alternatives to medications and I chose to not medicate my son, once on medication that is working I would not temporally remove it without your doctor's approval. Some medications have a negative impact if stopped and started (eg forgotten).

If you do stop them, I suggest starting a new way of recording or reading his chart, instead of "punishing" have him do fun multi-sensory integration or other activities which will help his ADHD. You might want to do this anyway and add omega-3 to his diet if he is not already on it. I would avoid punishing him for your experiment.

The books "Smart But Scattered", "Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" by Carol Kranowitz,  and “Attention Games” by Barbara Sher could all be helpful to you. Good luck.


mlb456
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:51 PM
The medication hes on does not build up on his system so once it wears off for the day its gone from what the doctor explaind. and it was the doctors idea to take him off for two weeks to please dad and show that he does need it. me and ds dad are not together, he told me he didnt want ds on the meds but. myself and his therapist both said we thought itd be a good idea since he was having trouble in school. myself the therapist and teacher filled out a form of questions and sent it to the doctors and the doc agreed it would be good for him so i did what i thought was best for my son. i know not say "its ok you talked all day in class your not on your meds heres a cookie" but i dont want to be extra hard on him for things he cant control.

Quoting JoanahLee:

There is SO much wrong with this. 

1) Do not take your child on and off his medication on a whim. Unless the doctor instructed you to take him off for two weeks, don't do it. I am very against medicating kids for ADD and ADHD, but if you are going to put them on meds, you have to allow them to regulate.  Depending on which drug he is taking it could take the entire two weeks to flush it out of his system, and a few more hard weeks to get him back to levelizedagain.  Stopping a behavior drug for two weeks after only taking it for two weeks is a bad idea. 

2) Are you married to/in a relationship with dad?  Either way, why was the conversation about him having a serious problem with medication not had before he started the pills?

3)The worst thing you can do for your son is take him off his meds, watch him misbehave, and then pat him on the head and say "Its not your fault son, I know you can't behave well without medication."   Thats setting him up for life long dependency. 

xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:53 PM

You already know how he'll react when he's not on the meds because it's the reason he went on them to begin with. He's going to get yellows and reds off them because he did before he got put on meds. 


mlb456
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:55 PM
It was the doctors idea to please dad and show him that he does need it. its deff not my experiment. And the med that hes on it doesnt build up in his system once it wears off its gone she said if we wanted to only give it to his for school and not the weekends that would be fine.

Quoting MamaLauri:

Although there are often good alternatives to medications and I chose to not medicate my son, once on medication that is working I would not temporally remove it without your doctor's approval. Some medications have a negative impact if stopped and started (eg forgotten).

If you do stop them, I suggest starting a new way of recording or reading his chart, instead of "punishing" have him do fun multi-sensory integration or other activities which will help his ADHD. You might want to do this anyway and add omega-3 to his diet if he is not already on it. I would avoid punishing him for your experiment.

The books "Smart But Scattered", "Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" by Carol Kranowitz,  and “Attention Games” by Barbara Sher could all be helpful to you. Good luck.


mlb456
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:58 PM
I know. i didnt want to take him off but to show his dad that he needs them i agreed to two weeks of it so my question was how should i do punishments for the two weeks? I dont want him to think its ok but i also dont want to be to hard cuz its not all his fault

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

You already know how he'll react when he's not on the meds because it's the reason he went on them to begin with. He's going to get yellows and reds off them because he did before he got put on meds. 


mlb456
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:59 PM
That sounds resonable just cut it in half?

Quoting zadesmom1998:

I did this with ds now 15. My mom was completely against medication and stopped talking to me not ds for 3 months. Got a progress report before doing so. Got one after and showed her those meds helped. I would still hold him accountable just not quite as strict. Instead of losing video games for the night or no hour of tv that day he lost video games for 30 min or only 30 min of tv. Kwim
xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it depends on why he's getting in trouble. If he's getting in trouble because he's talking or moving around too much, he can't really help that. If he's getting in trouble for mouthing off or being disrespectful then maybe have him write sentences about what he did and why it was wrong? Take away a favorite toy or game for an hour, things along that line.

Quoting mlb456:

I know. i didnt want to take him off but to show his dad that he needs them i agreed to two weeks of it so my question was how should i do punishments for the two weeks? I dont want him to think its ok but i also dont want to be to hard cuz its not all his fault

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

You already know how he'll react when he's not on the meds because it's the reason he went on them to begin with. He's going to get yellows and reds off them because he did before he got put on meds. 



xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd like to add that my oldest son's father was totally against meds too. He didn't get much of a say though because he wasn't the one dealing with our son, I was. I went as long as possible without medicating him. It wasn't until he was kept back and the teachers recommended taking him to the doctor for ADHD that I even considered meds. 

When his dad gave me a hard time, I told him too bad. I want our son to learn and be successful and if that means taking medication to help him, then that's what I was going to do. 

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